when ur family doesnt understand

today i talked with my one of my sisters..one of her replies was ..sherry you have to look at other people and see they have it worse..she doesnt realize i know this ..i see this everday...i want to beat my depression..i tired to tell her im getting better...they all try to point out my good quailties..i know i have them..im just haivng trouble right now finding them..i know its hard for them to see me like this..i want to help my mom ..she told she feels helpless cuz she doesnt know what to do for me...wishes she had the magic wand to make me better....how do i make them understand that one bad day doesnt mean im headed back to that dark place....im trying to take care of myself but here i am feeling like i need to take care of them...this is so hard

((((((((((((((sherry)))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time sweety! I hope it gets better for you soon!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sherry}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

nightdream

(((((((((sherry))))) I don't know you well yet but I sure understood your post here Please take care of yourself and they will be just fine. Linda <font color="black"> </font>

((((((((Sherry)))))))))

I can relate to that post. Keep posting in the forums! People here are happy to listen to ya

&lt;----I have no idea why I posted that

I can understand how you feel. Everyone wants you to feel better so they can feel better, it is selfish of them.
Do what you need to in order to stay safe and stay healthy. Maybe taking a break from talking with your sister will help out. Hang in there!
((((((sherry))))

Hi Sherry -- Depression and many other mental illnesses are vastly misunderstood. People think it is just self-indulgence sadness and self-pity. They don't understand that it is a biochemical condition and self-help, positive thinking, and being tough with ourselves may not help.

Try to remember that these responses come from ignorance. I get it from my family and other people, and it hurts, nonetheless. Remembering that it comes from ignorance does put it perspective, though.

Hang in there, sherry.

(((((((((((((((((Sherry))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry your family doesn't understand. Keep posting here. There are a lot of people here who want to give you the support you need.

Yep, I understand what it's like to have your family not understand. My dad thinks that my depression can be solved by 'positive thinking' alone. i haven't told any other members of my family about my depression, because they would not understand, and my dad doesn't know the whole story of it, just that i feel depressed 'sometimes' (when in fact depression is making my whole life difficult in terms of motivation to do stuff, etc). So yeah, it is hard to have to hide things from family, and to know they don't understand. But then, if they did fully understand and support you, you might then rely on them too much and not have the willpower to get better independently of them.

Symptoms of depression vary from person to person and vary over time. Not everyone who is depressed has every symptom. Some people have a few, and some have many.

*** Educate your family on YOUR symptoms ***

Symptoms of depression include:

Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue
Difficulty concentrating, remembering and making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

Source: National Institutes of Mental Health

Print this out for your family members to read.
"Helping a Friend or Family Member with Depression"
http://www.dbsalliance.org/PDF/Helpi...ndFamily04.pdf

Hang in there and it will get better! This is the place to come and talk where there are people who understand how you feel. I can talk to my sister when I need to, and my daughter, but not my brother or my parents. My brother still lets my parents control too much of his life, even though they helped cause his breakdown a few years ago. My mother and father are so very critical of everyone and just aren't there mentally to talk to. Maybe your sister has never had these kind of problems, so she really doesn't understand. I had a therapist tell me to write it all down on paper and keep a journal. It really helped me a lot. Talk to us all here and write it down!! See if it makes a difference. We all love you and understand!!!!

It's nice to have a family that would read the handouts you've suggested. What about those of us who have families that are in such deep denial they do not believe that mental illness exists and would only throw such reading in the waste can as propaganda.

My mother believes wholeheartedly that all the medical information about cigarettes causing cancer is government propaganda. And continues to puff away two packs a day. If she won't change her mind about that, do you honestly think she's going to admit there's such a thing as clinically diagnosed depression?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It's nice to have a family that would read the handouts you've suggested. What about those of us who have families that are in such deep denial they do not believe that mental illness exists and would only throw such reading in the waste can as propaganda.

My mother believes wholeheartedly that all the medical information about cigarettes causing cancer is government propaganda. And continues to puff away two packs a day. If she won't change her mind about that, do you honestly think she's going to admit there's such a thing as clinically diagnosed depression?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

i, (who has a few mental illnesses) wonder about whether mental illness exists. i tend to believe all diagnoses are stigmas no matter what cute name you re-label "us" with (e.g. bipolar vs. manic-depressive). i could write a book on this subject . . . but coming from someone like me, it would be dismissed as manic ramblings or delusional.

i read the handout i linked above. IF MY HUBBY EVER DID WHAT THAT PAPER SUGGESTED TO DO TO ME [when he thinks i'm manic] . . . ummm, it'd not be a pretty sight. i would go "mental."

Wants2Fly . . . my hubby smokes. i used to smoke. smokers are a strange breed. they'll use whatever excuse they can to smoke another. it's their body. it's nasty smoker's kisses, hugs, smell on the pillows, ashes everywhere, holes in the furniture/car, morning cough, etc.

you know what i do understand. i get that from my family and from my boyfriend well ex now of today. they don't understand or they wish not to understand. sometimes it isn't that easy to talk about how you feel when you have no one to listen or care. we know we are good people but like you said just finding that in your selfs. we should take care of us first then them but that is hard too. all we want is someone to listen and care.