[UpDownAround]

I am having trouble getting out of the mode of losing weight too fast. I was (and I guess I still am, somewhere deep inside) a binge eater and I gained a fair amount of weight; up to a little over 60 pounds overweight (which actually is in the obese range). I know that isn't as bad as it would be, but I yoyo in an unhealthy manner.

I finally decided I had enough and managed to flip the switch to the other extreme. I started averaging about 900 calories a day and lost 32 pounds in 65 days. I finally admitted I have a problem about a week ago and committed to up my calories to a more normal level. I am trying to do it in steps and the first step was to get over 1200 each day (still sort of extreme for an adult male). Yesterday, I ate a little under 1000. I am largely cutting out starch to try a diet specific to a type of arthritis I have and I don't eat mammal meat, so I do have to get a little creative to up calories. i do it mostly by eating fruit and if i am short at the end of the day I can take almond butter like medicine. But last night I could not get myself to do it. I am obsessed with seeing the scale move before I make an adjustment.

This is not my first cycle. I have gained, lost and gained back 60 pounds before. I have done it in the 25 pound range several times. I am hopeful that I can make some changes to stay at a healthy weight. This time does feel different somehow. But first I have to convince myself to lose more slowly in a healthy way. I want to shoot for January when i should be shooting for June.

[eskielover]

You know....sometimes the only thing that works is our own will power....or having someone in your life that you will be willing to hold you accountable even if that is an MD.

It's not easy when we know better. The problem is that no one can force us to do what we know is right. The bottom line with ED's is that we are in reality the only one who can stip our own disordered thinking so it's up to us to figure out what to replace that disordered thinking with that isbhealthy

[UpDownAround]

Yeah, I know. I posted mostly to make myself go through the exercise of putting it out there and admitting that I should not be doing this (as I log lunch to bring me to about 400 calories so far today).

[eskielover]

You are right....sometimes just saying it brings it more into reality we know we have to deal with.....wishing you the best with this. Can't say I haven't been there myself.....for me stress is my trigger