[itsjustme111]

With an eating disorder; mine being bulimia, does anyone else experience a panic if you can't get rid of what you have eaten? Does it totally ruin your day, or completely drive you bonkers because it actually all stayed in your body? It seems to control what I plan in a day. I avoid going out to eat, unless we come home immediately after. One time while we were at a resturant; I felt so guilty I wanted to break down and cry right then and there. But I went to the washroom at the restaurant, and purged there. It was not good when my friend came in. She wonder why I was in there so long. She knew about my struggles and figured that this was the problem.
Anyone else have this issue; or has this happened to you before. I am sure many of you have and if nobody is comfortable talking about it; that okay. Thanks for reading this.

itsjustme

I know how you feel. This happens to me when Im worried about my weight and have been in a cycle of binging and purging. Its horrible how it controls your social life. One thing that I have tried to do is to order something that I will be comfortable letting stay in my tummy . Like a salad with chicken or something.

[inkblot]

There have been times when I'd be disappointed when I couldn't get much out. I still tried to be "optimistic" in that I was able to at least get something, and usually without using anything to gag. I've never really like paniced, though. If I am just unable to do anything during those phases due to schedule or something, it will be on my mind that why did I eat so much. In the long run, I know that the food and vitamins are good for my body. It's hard getting used to the idea that my body actually needs food to survive and be healthy.

[itsjustme111]

My last visit with my eating disorder counselor said the same thing about food. Dont think of it as a bad thing. It is medicine that we need to stay alive; without we die. I cancelled my last appointment with her because my nerves. I have a problem with being in a room; focusing on my issues. She is a lovely lady though.
Thank you both for your insite. I am sorry that you are going through this. Its a tough one. Does it ever go away though? My fear is it coming back over and over. I thought the last time I was completely healed; but now its even worse.

itsjustme