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#1
Feb 16, 2025, 04:57 PM
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It's been so long since I've really been in a bad active place with my ED. Thankfully. But the guilt trip the ED sends me on is still there.
Not losing weight? Guilty. Didn't go for a killer run? Guilty. Ate that piece of cake? Guilty. Scale went up a pound? Huge massive guilt. Eating 3 meals and snacks daily? Guilty. Lost a pound? I am AWESOME! I thought I'd one day reach a place where none of this mattered any more, but sadly I have not. There have been times where it's bothered me less, I suppose that's the best it gets. The guilty feelings have gotten stronger lately again, and I am so SICK of going round and round this cycle especially since I know logically I don't need to lose any weight. I'll climb out of it again, I always do, but in the meantime, it SUCKS.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
 Tart Cherry Jam, unaluna, Yaowen
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