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#1
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May be triggering...... So... here I am... posting once more.... when I joined the board... sugar... controlled.. my life... passing out from sugar binging - the sugar turning into achohal... and purging... every day... actually better than I was before the board when I was purging several times a day... and not eating anything... and then... for a period of time... spending all day.. in binge/purge cycle... how to explain this to anyone.. that does not have an ED - how does one do that??? I just can't... the words will not come out of my mouth... so great... the shame.. the confusion.... now... understanding... the "why" behind... the ED... today.. connecting.. with an alter.. tracing it back to 7th grade - the root... and the life long struggle... with just plain eating... 52 years old... and the battle.. that started in ernest 7 years ago - the battle for my life.. I call it "the battle"... because... it cost me my job... my self esteem... my self-worth... and my health....my body just started to fail... it had had enough... my body has been screaming.. "stop"... my mind would not allow this... Yes.. this is a very outspoken PM... but if I can't talk about my ED here.. in this forum... where can I????? I mean... it is a battle... Where I am now.... I can't use sugar... binging... purging to relieve my stress... it simply.. does not work any more... it is done... no more... and.. I find myself stressed a great deal more.... trying to find ways of comforting myself... my alters... to calm... them all down... and... I am working on eating.... I have a plan... to put together meals... that are frozen.. that I do not have to "think" about...that I do not need to "analyze"... that are already "approved" for eating... this is the only way that I can think of.. to continue the process of eating... And.. I pray it works... because... my body needs to have food... can't go back.. to the binge/purge cycle..... no more...am done... |
#2
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((((((((freewill)))))))) ![]() ![]() |
#3
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good luck, freewill. my heart goes out to you.
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#4
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((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))
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__________________
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#5
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its a long winding road but once you've travelled it you will be a renewed stronger person, you'll be happy again, no more cycles, just living and it will be amazing. good luck to you and stay strong, don't let this stupid thing overcome you, you are worth so much. smile! even when you don't want to.
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#6
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
freewill said: .....tracing it back to 7th grade - the root... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> As soon as someone invents a time travel machine, you and I going back to your 7th grade and we are going to march in and.....well, for politeness' sake let's just say that together we wouldn't let this "root " take hold. So many times I hear this same story and it absolutely infuriates me. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a kid. You've got my respect and admiration for dealing with it and its consequences. Keep the steel in you eye and the fire in your belly and crush this thing. |
#7
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freewill, it's been a couple days since your post...I am wondering how it is going. Were you able to get the frozen dinners put together? I feel for you...I hope you are able to beat this...I am behind you 100%.
__________________
You don't have to fly straight... ![]() ...just keep it between the lines!
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#8
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hi everyone...
I spent an hour in the local grocery chain store... wandering... trying to pick up food... exhausted... I am.... from the strain... food.. that doesn't irritate asthma.. no dairy.. no bananas... food that doesn't irritate GERD... no tomatoe... spicy... binge foods...no white flour... no fruits...no potatoes.. no raw veggies.. nothing with sugar in it...no butter... no chips.. no popcorn... no red meat... because I can't process... no shrimp... no hot dogs or anything like that...no lunch meats... so... I keep trying... I came home with chicken - no breasts - it has to be cooked very well.. and breasts do not digest... sweet potatoes.. and tuna..and a 7-grain bread... so... I will see what I can do with those.. |
#9
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((((Freewill)))) sorry you have such trouble finding food you can eat. wish i could do your shopping for you so you don't gotta get tired too. hope you manage to eat something. *hugs* |
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