Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Apr 03, 2008, 09:45 PM
freewill
Guest
 
Posts: n/a




May be triggering......







So... here I am... posting once more.... when I joined the board... sugar... controlled.. my life... passing out from sugar binging - the sugar turning into achohal... and purging... every day...

actually better than I was before the board when I was purging several times a day... and not eating anything...

and then... for a period of time... spending all day.. in binge/purge cycle...

how to explain this to anyone.. that does not have an ED - how does one do that??? I just can't... the words will not come out of my mouth... so great... the shame.. the confusion....

now... understanding... the "why" behind... the ED... today.. connecting.. with an alter.. tracing it back to 7th grade - the root... and the life long struggle... with just plain eating... 52 years old...

and the battle.. that started in ernest 7 years ago - the battle for my life.. I call it "the battle"... because... it cost me my job... my self esteem... my self-worth... and my health....my body just started to fail... it had had enough... my body has been screaming.. "stop"... my mind would not allow this...

Yes.. this is a very outspoken PM... but if I can't talk about my ED here.. in this forum... where can I????? I mean... it is a battle...

Where I am now.... I can't use sugar... binging... purging to relieve my stress... it simply.. does not work any more... it is done... no more...

and.. I find myself stressed a great deal more.... trying to find ways of comforting myself... my alters... to calm... them all down...

and... I am working on eating.... I have a plan... to put together meals... that are frozen.. that I do not have to "think" about...that I do not need to "analyze"... that are already "approved" for eating...

this is the only way that I can think of.. to continue the process of eating...

And.. I pray it works... because... my body needs to have food... can't go back.. to the binge/purge cycle.....

no more...am done...

advertisement
  #2  
Old Apr 03, 2008, 09:52 PM
RozG RozG is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Feb 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 6,767


((((((((freewill)))))))) recovery... the long winding road.... recovery... the long winding road....
  #3  
Old Apr 04, 2008, 12:21 AM
beth16's Avatar
beth16 beth16 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 290
good luck, freewill. my heart goes out to you.
  #4  
Old Apr 04, 2008, 02:10 AM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,623
((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))
recovery... the long winding road.... recovery... the long winding road.... recovery... the long winding road....
__________________
  #5  
Old Apr 04, 2008, 02:33 AM
luckyyouxx's Avatar
luckyyouxx luckyyouxx is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2008
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 84
its a long winding road but once you've travelled it you will be a renewed stronger person, you'll be happy again, no more cycles, just living and it will be amazing. good luck to you and stay strong, don't let this stupid thing overcome you, you are worth so much. smile! even when you don't want to.
  #6  
Old Apr 04, 2008, 02:08 PM
rdartist rdartist is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2008
Posts: 16
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
freewill said:

.....tracing it back to 7th grade - the root...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

As soon as someone invents a time travel machine, you and I going back to your 7th grade and we are going to march in and.....well, for politeness' sake let's just say that together we wouldn't let this "root " take hold.

So many times I hear this same story and it absolutely infuriates me. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a kid.

You've got my respect and admiration for dealing with it and its consequences.

Keep the steel in you eye and the fire in your belly and crush this thing.
  #7  
Old Apr 05, 2008, 09:33 PM
DePressMe's Avatar
DePressMe DePressMe is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Mar 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,921
freewill, it's been a couple days since your post...I am wondering how it is going. Were you able to get the frozen dinners put together? I feel for you...I hope you are able to beat this...I am behind you 100%.
__________________
You don't have to fly straight...

...just keep it between the lines!
  #8  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 12:13 AM
freewill
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
hi everyone...

I spent an hour in the local grocery chain store... wandering... trying to pick up food...

exhausted... I am.... from the strain...

food.. that doesn't irritate asthma.. no dairy.. no bananas...
food that doesn't irritate GERD... no tomatoe... spicy...

binge foods...no white flour... no fruits...no potatoes.. no raw veggies..
nothing with sugar in it...no butter... no chips.. no popcorn...

no red meat... because I can't process... no shrimp... no hot dogs or anything like that...no lunch meats...

so... I keep trying...

I came home with chicken - no breasts - it has to be cooked very well.. and breasts do not digest... sweet potatoes.. and tuna..and a 7-grain bread...

so... I will see what I can do with those..
  #9  
Old Apr 08, 2008, 12:16 AM
RozG RozG is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Feb 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 6,767


((((Freewill)))) sorry you have such trouble finding food you can eat. wish i could do your shopping for you so you don't gotta get tired too. hope you manage to eat something. *hugs*
Reply
Views: 538

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:14 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.