[Raindrizzle]

The words of my new psychiatrist.

Wonderful.
Not.

First day meeting him and that was his response. So helpful huh? Well I don't really know why I am posting on here but I felt like I should tell someone, other than those I tell on a daily basis. But I quit. I will not eat, and if forced, it will not be staying in my body. I hate life so much right now. SO MUCH. I can't find happiness in anything, and the more I try and be positive and try to recover, all I do is gain weight. I can't be fat. I just can't be. This is coming off a bit harsh, but...I'm so done with my life, my eating disorder, my everything. Its been such a loong journey. I'm only 19. A 19 year old who has suffered for about 14 years.

My life is dull. I am lonesome. Nothing will change.

(((((hugs))))

I care very deeply for you.... and you hopefully know... that this is true...

I wrote a simliar post... just this week... and... I still haven't figured out.. what to do...other than.. what I decided to do.. in my post....

ED.. pain runs so deeply....it... just.... may a 52 year old woman say this??? IT SUCKS...

I would also like to kick your new pdoc in his behind...

[embarassed]

*hugs*

I know his advice seems harsh but it's true though. That's basically what my best friend and my pdoc told me but they said it more gently so I didn't take offense to it. Obviously, his advice is easier said than done but I do agree with what he said. I too, need to find something to do with my life, other than obsessing over negative thoughts and b/p-ing. I truly believe that finding something to do with my life will help. For me, it would help with my low self-esteem and depression issues so I would be less obsessed about certain things. But the challenge is trying to figure out WHAT to do.

[amy1101]

yep i need to find something too that fills the gaping empty gap that bulimia serves to fill currently..
but coming from your psych, that SUCKS... the last time i saw my psych he crossed his arms and said "theres nothing we can do for you amy, goodbye"
and motioned towards to door. what an insensitive %#@&#!, he shouldnt be employed in mental health!
hope youre ok

[embarassed]

You said it much more concisely than I did Amy. Yep, binging and purging is filling a gap for me. Finding something to do would help fill the gap. I'm sorry about your psychiatrist.

[PsyChris]

Raindrizzle,

As I told freewill I am not that well versed in Eating Disorders. I do not know much beyond the DSM classification.

However, it does seem to me that you are pursuing the correct course. It does seem very simplistic to suggest that the only thing you need to do is "find something else to do with your life." That is a very direct and often unattainable goal in battling any disorder.

Change is the single most factor in battling any disorder. Change is the only way you will ever be free of your Eating Disorder. Please share your thoughts with your Psychiatrist. That is the only way he/she will be able to provide you the correct treatment.

[amy1101]

embarrassed, if you find any things to fill the gaps, please let me know!!

I went to oa last night and that served to keep things running smoothly for about 24 hours.. also i find going out for the day helps, anything to avoid being at home for a prolonged time.