[jbug]

I screwed up. I just ate a large portion of chicken fried rice and 5 egg rolls. I just threw it all up. I feel like such a fool. I knew when I bought it what I was going to do and yet I still bought it and did it. I am supposed to be googling on eating disorders today for therapy next week because my therapist doesn't know to much about them. I just recently clued him in onto this pattern of my behavior. I do have to admit though as I was throwing up I did feel much better and yet I know when I eat supper tonight what I will want to do and not be able to do it because I'm at my parents house and they don't know. I only do it when I'm by myself so no one will find out. I want to be a skinny minnie but don't think I'll ever be there even with all the exercise I do. Maybe I'm just doomed to be fat.

Janniebug