Got screwed again

I have a total of what I consider 2 semi-close friends. I think I have a total of 3 friends in all, really. Today one of my friends blew me off...she was supposed to come over today and I haven't heard from her since yesterday. This is the second time she's done this to me. Last time she wasn't feeling well, which is understandable, but this is a second time in a row. I'm not one who has too many friends and it's heartbreaking when they do this to me. I pour my heart and soul out to my friends and they say they're there for me, but are they really? Maybe I should just stick to being my own friend...I'm the only one that seems to be there for me, anyways.

I just hate it that I am so alone in this world. Everybody says how wonderful, caring, and likeable I am...so why do I have so many few friends? I just don't get it. The same thing as people always telling me how pretty and attractive I am...why don't I have people flocking for me, then? I really don't get that one.

((((((((((((((Lex))))))))))))))

Well, my friend finally showed up. She was at her grandparents house and her dog started having seizures so she had to take care of that. I'm really glad she did show up...I was just starting to give up on her.

Lexicon... I can relate to the part about having difficulty making friends. A few years ago, I moved from Philly to San Francisco, and was really surprised how hard it was to make new friendships. I am very open and friendly IRL, and I would do my best to extend invitations to people but nobody seemed to want to take me up on my offers.

A year later, our lease was up and we decided to try living somewhere else. We arrived in Portland, and were invited to a party our 2nd night in town. I started doing some volunteer work, and looked for activity partners (bike riding) on Craigslist.org, and within a year I realized that I had made more good friends than I had even in Philly, where I grew up.

If you're having a difficult time expanding your circle of friends, my guess is that you're not in the right place. I would encourage you to move around, explore a new part of this beautiful world, and see if you can find your "people". I found my "people" here, and I would never have known what I was missing if I didn't take a chance and branch out. Having only 2 close friends puts a LOT of pressure on those two, especially if you seem dependent upon them. I think the trick is to build more friendships so that all of your eggs are not in one basket.

Take care of yourself, Lexicon,
LMo