[Monty_girl]

Trying to have a couple of goals for today. But it's eating away at my brain.

First one is to stop freaking weighing myself every hour.
And the second one is to not B&P today. I didn't purge yesterday and it took everything in my power to fight it. But I'm so in need of that emotional release right now I'm freaking out!!!!

[Christina86]

(((((((((((((Monty))))))))))))))))

Okay. How about this... just for this HOUR - don't do what you've said. When it's been about 45 minutes, try to extend it (your "contract" with yourself) another hour. Keep doing that as long as you can. Trying to do it a day at a time can seem really dauting.

What about doing something else for an emotional release? What are you feeling right now emotionally?

[Monty_girl]

I don't know what the emotion would be. Just know what it feels like. Feels like I'm trapped and being ripped apart. Just like there is something that's horrible and wrong and I can't find it. Just feel like if I b/p that it will lease what ever is trapped. If this makes any sense.

[Christina86]

It makes sense... and maybe it would help to b/p or whatever... but only for a moment. And then the next moment you'd (probably) regret what happened and it might happen again. Problems like EDs and other addictive behaviours ... they're nasty cycles.

How about this... do you like to draw, or paint? What about drawing or painting how you're feeling? Or do you have anything like an old book or paper that you can shred into little pieces? Or go outside and scream... just make sure people are forewarned so they don't think something bad is happening to you!

(((((((((((((((Monty)))))))))))))))))))

You're ok. Just take it one moment at a time.

[Monty_girl]

made it only till 1:30 today. it's going to kill me one day. I worry after every purge, did I rupture something? I rupture the small blood vessels in my face every time I purge. I have a physical condition that makes it even more dangerous. I know I could drop from rupturing my blood vessels, but yet I cant stop. I'm so dizzy now I need to sleep. my body is hollow now, can rest.

[darkrunner]

[marcelodlanod]

Thats a good idea!! screaming to relax!!... the problem is... i may ashame my family.. and/or neighbores... how can i disguise the reason?!

[wishfulmuscle]

hang in there lovey.

Do you ever get immense pain in your chest, like heart burn? I think mine is from all of the purging..its so painful, just try to keep yourself occupied with other things.. a busy mind will stay out of the kitchen thats what i've had to to lately.

i might try knitting or something different for my spare time lol.