goals

My goal is to go 2 months without cutting(1 month longer than lst time). Its been 3 weeks and I almost cant stand the intensity of the urges. I often wonder if it's good to have goals such as I just stated, or, do they more often than not, just set me up for failure. 2 months doesn't seem that long in hindsight, but thinking about 5 weeks to go,is unbearable.

What a good thing you've realized! Don't think about the 5 weeks, but each day... get through "today." Or when times get tougher, think about just this hour. Each hour or day.... it's often discouraging to have to view the entire path we have to (or want to) follow. This is true for nearly everyone!

I'm sorry you need this way to cope with what is going on in your life. I hope you will be able to soon realize that you really do deserve to treat yourself better. I think it's wonderful you've continued to try, and are doing such a good job!!

It's best to take baby steps. Set smaller goals.

And it's always super hard in the beginning...I'm at the 5 month mark right now...and it has been really hard. And even at 5 months my urges get bad sometimes so don't expect it to all go away.

How's it going nothing_inside?

As an SIer who didn't ever use to set goals or count days/weeks/months till quite recently when things started going pretty out of hand, I feel that it's important that you're able to deal with the urges without SI'ing, not that you make it so many days/weeks/months..hence, each urge you are able to fihgt off and each time you're able to find a healthy alternative to self-harm, is a step in the right direction. After all, SI is not just hurting yourself, it's a coping mechanism tha tyou need to learn alternatives to.

@_sky: thank you. it's a hard daily struggle, but it does get better, i think.

@lexicon78: 5 months is awesome . i agree, baby steps is the key and trying not to set myself up to fail.

@ esthersvirtue: alright, how about you?

@ elfgirl: i'm going to try the no goal thing for a while, see how that turns out. it clearly didn't work last time, as shortly after I posted this, i ended up cutting again

like yourself, I too am setting a goal to just visualise self harm by cutting. I have recently deliberately used a metal spoon in boiling water to scold my skin to try to take away the internal pain of bipolar depression and instead externalise the pain. Don't know if you are in a mental crisis right now but hope that you can be strong and hang in there. We are total strangers but i do feel for you because I too am struggling to hold off from hurting myself again. Sending strength and hope.

@ vortex: thank you, vortex,for your support as well. i'm not doing too well right now, but hopefully i can shake this mood im in, soon. i hope that you, too are able to hold off and can find other ways of coping without cutting or burning.

dear 'nothing inside'. It is a good name you have chosen and one that echoes how I feel right now. It is 5.30 a.m. in England where I am and I know EXACTLY what it is like to have 'nothing inside'. Emotionally I am despairing (my depression is always worse first thing in the morning); and I really want to self harm. I keep putting it off by telling myself i could'nt hide the injuries from family because the hot weather makes wearing long sleeves unbearable and my arms almost always take the hurt. Sometimes it is a coping method, sometimes it's a punishment for all the bad things that i must have done in my past but can't remember doing. I know that like you and so many others here, someone somewhere is responsible for the hurt they have inflicted on each of us and yet we, the victim are left with the unresolved pain and trying to find ways of hiding it or dealing with it. For myself, i constantly wonder which bit of my illnesses makes me act the way i do. My personality disorder is one likely candidate for the self harm, but my bipolar depression is just as bad because it intensifies the feelings. Dearest 'nothing inside', when you have emptiness within you (mentally /spiritually) you have the prospect of all the ROOM you need to fill yourself with good things when the time is right for YOU. I chose you to make contact with as a first time visitor because you sounded just like I too feel. I send you over the ether as it were, all my remaining strength and good will, praying for a resolution to your crises, so that 'nothing inside' may yet become..' I have everything i need and more!' Please hold on and keep talking out your feelings here at the forum. I still need to navigate my way around here having never used a place like this before. I keep getting lost, but I DO thank you for replying to my initial contact with you. To all self harmers, please, please hold on because if you let go then I too am most assuredly lost in the void that is my name. <font color="blue"> </font>

@vortex: you know what is so weird for me, the 1st thing i think about when i wake up in the morning is cutting, nothing else. i think too, morning is really bad for me as well. As much as I hate going to work and my job, it actually gives me something to get my mind off of it for 8 hours or so. For me, the hiding and lying about it part is harder for me than anything else. i want so badly to be able to walk around(at home) without hiding it, but, I cant. everyday i wonder why i do this, and I'm so sick of trying to find answers, but, i so badly want to find the answers(if that makes any sense). thank you so much for yours and everyone's support. i too am new here and a 1st timer with forums and chats, so still trying to figure things out. I'm so glad a place like this exists, because most of the time, I just need a place where i don't feel so abnormal, like i feel in my real life compared to everyone else.