Please help me!?

I havent written one of these yet, so please bear with me.

Basically, i am going to the doctors this week with annorexicia, urm, my godmother is making me go. But i know why i have been suffereing with this for nearly 3 years now, i havent been abused or anything horrible like thta. But its all to do with attention, and its not even like i dont get it, cos i do, and i always have, but im not cleaver or pretty, and i honestly dont belive that i can get attentiona nyother way than being ridiculasly skinny or unhappy.

Its like i test everyone, so that if they spent time with me or talk to me, or anything- it shows me they care. Thats really selfish of me i know, but i just have to have taht attention. Then i feel really unhappy if i dont get it, i do it aswell with boys, i have got into horrible relationships cos of that, and i have been sexually assulted because of taht to.

Does anyone else have the same thing? is it really terrible? Can i get any help from it, or will i always be like this? i would love a email or like repl please, cos i hate it, so so much. Thnaks for reading! clo xxxxxx

Have you been able to do some reading about anorexia?
Maybe some more information would help.
Hopefully the doctor will have some helpful ideas too -
maybe a psychotherapist can also help you.

((((((((((((((((((((( chloey ))))))))))))))))))))))))

It sounds like you have a lot of self-awareness and honesty - that is such a good first step.

Do you have a therapist? Or if you are in school, is there a counselor at school you can talk to?

My T just told me yesterday that being aware of why we do something is an important step, but it is only the first step.

I definitely don't think you will always be like this! I do think some support from a T or a counselor would be really helpful.

i havent got a concellor, i am in college, but i am looking into one i think atm, which i guess will help. thanks
x