help for a friend

I don't have an eating disorder unless obsessive comfort eating counts ¬_¬.

but my friend is bulimic. She recently started a performing arts course, and lots of people there are bulimic. Now, if there's one things I know, is that being around people with the same problem as you, but not trying to help themselves, makes you feel bad. And I've told her I'm proud of her because she's doing better, though she hasn't stopped completely.

It's jsut that eating disorders are had anyway, without the added pressure of being stick thing in a class of, who she describes as, *****es.

Anyway, waht I want to know is, what support is there I can give her? Obviously as I haven't been there myself it's harder. I don't want it to be words all the time either, not when I could potentially do more if I just knew what and how.

Anyway, any suggestions?

Wow, for a start off, just being a friend is the biggest thing you can do for her. I'm sure your words mean more to your friend than you realise. I have been bulimic for over 15 years and have lost so many friends because of this. Even though eating disorders are in the public so much, I think there is very little understanding and sympathy for people who are suffering every day with this disease.

One of the most important things I have found is to have a friend whom I can trust and someone who is there that I can talk to without fear that it will be repeated to anyone or fear that they are going to get stressed about it. Bulimia takes a lot out of a person; it drains you and sucks the life out of you so sometimes it's difficult to be a good friend back. If you experience any of this, all I can say is try to be patient with your friend and just keep reassuring them that you care for them no matter what. Eatinf disorders don't have a 'quick fix' and it can take months or even years to deal with it and kind of get a grip of it. Your friend is in the difficult situation of being surrounded by others who are bulimic which probably exacerbates the problem.

I would also suggest that your friend sees her G asap to get a total physical checkup as bulimia can cause a myriad of problems. Her GP may also offer a range of services from local counsellors, a dietician (if she'd find that helpful) or she can go down the route of behavioural therapy - although I have taken this route myself and was on a waiting list for a long time. Having said that, it is so worth the wait. Another alternative is for your friend to seek private therapy but this can be costly and she'll maybe take a little time to find one that she feels is right for her.

I hope I've not waffled too much and you have found some of this helpful. Please write again if you want. It is important that you take care of yourself as I know I have put a couple of friends through the mill with my craziness. This is a good place to come for support and encouragement!!

Take care....

Lou