[Lik3]

Have I really thought things through? Really. There are times when I don't wish to lose weight. Do I want to lose weight? Do I really need to lose weight? The desire is not there. As I type this, I am surprised by my candor. But at the same time, I wonder if I am taking a risk. Have I really thought this through? I talk a good game but my heart isn't in it. I want to do the right thing for myself and my overall health, but there are other factors to other factors to consider. My mind and heart have to be in it, but I have to realize how risky it is. I wonder if my feelings are normal. I have diabetes. I have PCOS. I am self-conscious. I have low self-esteem. Those are the five reasons why losing weight is vital for me.

But like I said, are my heart and mind into it. I have made so little progress in losing weight that it scares me that I have this mindset. Losing weight is hard. But having this mindset and not knowing about weight loss is even scarier. Also, coupled with the facts that I weigh so much and have a high Body Mass Index and my insight may not be normal to most, but to be honest, that is how I feel. Why do I really want to lose weight? Is it for me? Is it for other people? I feel so selfish and so blinded. I wonder what is really going on with me.

[bluekoi]

Lik3, The benefits of losing weight far out weigh doing nothing. Losing weight will help with your overall well-being mentally and physically. Even minor weight loss can make you feel good about yourself. I believe the motivation must come from within if you are to be successful. Someone else cannot make you lose weight. Start eating healthier, smaller portions and slowly increase your level of exercise. Give yourself a realistic goal. Say in three months you want to lose 15lbs. Be proud of every accomplishment!

[SnakeCharmer]

Lik3, I was with you all the way until you mentioned diabetes and PCOS.

I don't believe in losing weight for self-esteem or self-consciousness. It's way too fragile a reason. But health, that's a different matter.

Improve your eating habits and exercise habits for your health and if you lose weight along the way that'll be great. But please don't do it for your self-esteem or because you're self-conscious. Do it because it's part of bringing diabetes and PCOS under control.

Just this week I read a post on another site from a young woman who was berating herself, hating herself, calling herself a failure and tossing back the booze because she'd eaten a piece of cake. Her entire self-esteem was tied-up in losing weight and looking good. It's so easy for that to happen.

You know what ... we're not better people if we weigh less. We're smaller, and maybe healthier, but not better. People get mad at me for saying that. Oh, well. It's something I strongly believe. Our size does not indicate our character. My weight is not an indicator of my worth (and I'm at a size that's pretty good for my age group. It doesn't mean I'm a better person than my age-peer friends who've gained more weight.)

If I lose ten pounds, I'm probably more comfortable in my clothes, but I'm not smarter or nicer or more compassionate or a better person. If I gain ten pounds I'm not a less intelligent or meaner or a more selfish person. Same goes for a hundred pounds. We're still the same person inside and more often than not that person is pretty damn okay.

If I make it about losing weight, it actually jeopardizes my self esteem. If I make it about doing what's best for my health and quality of life and even saving my life, then I know I'm doing the right thing.

Lik, I don't know what you weigh, but whether it's 130 lbs or 430, you're still the same person inside and that's one of the very best things about communicating with people on the internet. We can make it about their minds and humor and personality, not about how they look. A person's inner radiance can shine through. I like that. I hope you do what's best for your health.

I wish you the best.