Overly familar people

I would probably find it over the top, BUT I used to work with a woman who called all men "you handsome devil" and all women "you gorgeous lady." Was it inapproriate at work? Oh heck yes! But there was something about her and her delivery of the lines that people accepted it. Never could figure it out myself. The rest of us at work would have gotten written up for doing the same thing.

People mentioned hugging.... I am a hugger, but I would never hug someone who did not want to be hugged. I would never walk up to a co-worker and just give them a hug. I sure as shootin' would not put my hands on thier backside! It might sound weird, but I've learned to ask people if it is okay to hug them.

Yes on the subject of hugging, this same woman used to ask me for kisses on the cheek and hug me/say she loved me in front of other staff. It used to embarrass me and luckily now, she doesn't tend to do this as much.

I think the women who goes around touching people as abhorrent as you. She is bang out of order. I would have had her told in a heartbeat to keep her paws off

kisses on the cheek???

said she loved you infront of co-workers???

EWWWW! Totally inappropriate! You know, if a male employee did this to a female employee (or vice versa) it would be grounds for sexual harassment charges.

I know- really embarrassing. I know it is all done in a non sexual/ motherly type way but even so. Luckily she doesn't do it anymore.

It scares me a little to be honest.

I hate being touched or having people in my (rather excessive) personal space.

Even with the overly exuberant personalities I seem to find myself if not scared, over whelmed at least but I'm guessing most of that is my problem lol

It seems to me that when I'm feeling down is when I mind being touched the most. I think when you are depressed you are more "into yourself" and more aware of people invading your personal space.

In certain cultures cheek kissing is appropriate, yet, it's barely a real touchy moment. Much more like a handshake and handshakes involve more touch, than those do. I am a jumper, so to speak. If not a jump, a flinch or tensing up. I need an air of familiarity for touch.
I cannot say, if over time, the darlin talk would bother me, initially I would flinch, in a raised eyebrow type of flinch. I'd perhaps grow used to such a personality, not sure.

Glad to hear, it's become less troublesome.

Curious, about embarrassment? Are you embarrassed for yourself or this other person?

It is embarrassing when someone is screeching names like 'Anglepie' and dragging you in for hugs in front of other co workers!

And your boss, allows this?

I would err to refer to it, as a feeling of being violated. Ergo, can see how it feels shaming, hence embarrassing.

Yes it is, and I was hoping someone would post that. Fact is, in the north, it's not necessarily common, I gather, but in the south (where I was raised) everyone is, 'darlin', baby, honey' etc. Family members specifically, but friends as well. Strangers get to be 'hon' and 'darlin'. But only if they're nice. Elders are never 'baby' except by their husbands/wives/siblings. Kids are 'baby' or 'sweetie' and if they're older, 'kiddo'. Although women can be 'kiddo' too, from strangers if said by an older gentleman and with kindness.

All of these endearments depend on location...the deeper south you go, the more general the use. And it's more about inflection and tone of voice...insult is never meant, unless the tone says it. And that is simply NOT done, unless one is horribly tacky.

The touchy thing...another story. Touch between friends, sure. Touch in a business between co-workers..only if one or the other is trying to get lucky, otherwise, no.

And btw....just because a southerner says 'bless your heart'...it does NOT always mean 'you stupid moron'...sometimes we actually think you're being cute or we're trying to offer understanding support. I hate when yankees think they figured something out just cause a southerner said it in joking and now they believe they 'understand' what we mean for everything.

Nope. Y'don't.

I was addressed as "Sunshine" by a woman half my age in hospital. I thought about how I felt about that and realised I couldn't express It curled up in bed. So I got up. Of course that was the intention, to provoke me to verticality. So I let It go.

I am inwardly cringing when someone does that, but outwardly I just take it because I tend to assume they don't mean anything by it.

If I'm reallllly caught on a rough day, I sorta flinch at any unexpected contact. Most people learn quickly that I'm not really a touchy-person and that I like to have my physical space.

In regards to terms.... I guess I just put up with them. I tend to call people things like dearie, but it's only people I know. Kids often get called "sweet pea" by me though, lol. If someone calls me something in a happy kind of way then I just take it as a sign of affection, unless I think it's someone hitting on me or being sexist/degrading. Which point I will usually ignore it.

I guess where I work it is more relaxed and not an office based environment. My boss never saw but I don't think he would have cared anyway. I never felt threatened by it, just surprised and embarrassed as well as finding it all quite odd!

Well, mainers use bless your heart, and it's not insulting

People are how they are you me them don't try to Chang what you can't just acsept it and move on

I know I can't change her, just talking about her behaviour as a discussion point.

It's cos they ain't got no bleeding cooth. People say to me "can I call Ebenezer?", to which the only possible answer is " if you must, but I would prefer you to call me 'sir' or Mr Snodgrass'. That usually brings them up all standing.