[pinkestpink]

Hi all,
I participated in an OCD trial this summer about genetics. I knew my mom and two of my brothers had OCD, but in doing the trial, my mom told me that she and most of her 10 brothers and sisters were dealing with OCD. Although I am formally dx with OCD this trial took me through my whole mental health story and I feel like I have some really strong OCD traits, such as obsessive scary thoughts.

I have been married for two years, my husband wants kids, I do not. He knew this before we got married and is supportive, but it makes me feel really bad. Anyways, I am afraid that if I have kids they will all have some sort of mental health issues, as all of my 5 brothers and sister have as well as me. I struggled and struggled to get to where I am right now, feeling pretty good most of the time. I just feel like its not fair, it would be selfish of me to have a child when it seems to have spread from my moms family to my family and I don't want to pass it on any further.

I don't know, I guess I just feel bad and selfish either way... selfish that my husband wants a child and i don't or selfish for bring a child into the world that has a very good chance that they will deal with what I dealt with.

Thanks for letting me get this out.

[pegasus]

Hello pinkestpink, OCD is a way of coping with anxiety and what can happen is the way of coping can be handed down to each generation as learnt behaviour. Remember that nearly everyone has ways of coping with stress that could be called OCD, it's only a problem if it affects your life and others in a detrimental way. Many people with mental health issues actually make better parents because they are aware of the issues and work on it, so don't write off having a child because of this.

[Altered Moment]

I have run across people who feel as you do.

I dated a girl for a long time who had her tubes tied so that is was impossible for her to have kids because she refused to take the chance of passing on her depression. She had depression pretty bad.

I had a daughter because we both wanted kids. I can see my genetic traits in her. Alcoholism/addiction and depression and anxiety. I think all my recovery and hard work has made me a much better parent as Pegasus has said. She had struggles throughout all her teen years and even an attempted suicide. Today she is 21 and is the most happy person you could meet and is getting a 3.5 in college. I still worry about her very much but she knows how to get help and has lots of supportive family. We each have our own journey and if you believe in the evolution of spirit and that we live on then I don't see a problem bringing a child into the world. If you believe this life is all there is and it will be one of constant struggle than I see your point.