I think I might have been molested by my father?

midnightrunner · Sep 30, 2014, 08:24 PM

Most of my life was always socially awkward and shy. I remember when I was really young, I was a little more social and happy. I suddenly had a vague anger and depression kind of mysteriously sweep over me sometime in my early childhood.

There have been signs that point to the probability that my father is a child molester or a pervert at least.

My mom told me that one time my father was holding my little brother when he was a baby and he kept saying how soft his skin was. He didn't just say it one time as a simple observation. He was saying it in a way that creeped her out. She described it as my brother's soft skin almost aroused him.

My parents divorced early in my life and we would stay with our father and mother week to week. My mother also told me of a time when my brother was begging and crying for her not to leave him when she was dropping us off at our father's house.

Our father was always an angry control freak, so my brother might have just been afraid of that, but the strong attachment we both have with our mother and not our father lends itself to something much deeper.

My mom was cleaning out her garage the other day and found some old calendars dating back to 1993 and 1994. There are many notes my mother had written down about how my brother kept vomiting, had night sweats, nightmares and on one occasion he said "Yes, it feels good...fine" in an irritated voice. Maybe my father was molesting us both or just him in during sleep? Do some parents molest only one of their children or do they typically molest all of their children?

My older half sister used to babysit me when I was young and my father would do perverted things with her too. My mother told me that one time, my sister caught him peeking through the keyhole into her room while she was in her underwear and he was masturbating. The next day my sister told her boyfriend, who came to the house to put a lock on her room door.

On another occasion, my sister was wearing a skirt and I guess it was riding up too high on her legs and he copped a feel. He grabbed her by the waste and spin her around so her backside was in his face and said something like "Your underwear is showing, I can see it." He was acting like he wanted her to cover it up acting as some sort of father with decency, but he was copping a feel.

My ex Japanese girlfriend was visiting my father's house with me because it was Thanksgiving and when I was in the shower, she was waiting on the living room couch for me. She was also wearing a short skirt and when she went to sit down on the couch, he put is hand underneath so she would sit down on his hand. He acted like it was an accident, but he was copping a feel once again. My girlfriend told me about this incident when we were heading back to our apartment.

My father is currently married to another woman...his brother's ex wife! Of all the women in the world, he chooses to marry his brother/my uncle's ex wife. It is just insane to me. Anyway, this woman is far from pretty. I don't mean to be rude, but she is really ugly. Her daughters (from another man not my uncle) are attractive though. I have a strong hunch that he married her to get to the daughters. The daughters were already in the early 20's when they married about 8 years ago. They are both married and living on their own now. One of the daughters is really irresponsible and doesn't raise her own children and had them taken away from her. The children have now been adopted by my father and his new wife.

The creepy thing about this is that sometimes I go up to visit my father (this was before I started really thinking I was molested) and there is a lot of drama there. His relationship with this woman can't come across more fake. It is obvious he doesn't love her. He is a control freak and a manipulator so she is completely wrapped around his finger. She has no opinion of her own. She is just a mirror for his own opinions. It is disgusting and pathetic.

The children they are "raising" are still really young. The daughter is like 8 and the boy is like 6 or 7. Last time I was up there, I overheard the daughter talking to the boy about sex! I was shocked. She even used the words "sexy" and "sex" and he replied, "yeah, I know about it" in a tone that signaled that he didn't want to talk about it. Later, I told her that she shouldn't talk to her younger brother about that stuff because he is too young. I asked her if she learned that from school and she replied that she didn't. This was really creepy to me. I wonder if he is molesting them?

I'm not saying that my father molested me or my brother, but he definitely molested my sister when she was still a teenager and my girlfriend who wasn't much older.

For years, I thought I was maybe autistic or that I have Asperger's but my psychologist told me that I'm definitely not on the spectrum.

If I was molested or just growing up with a molester and control freak nonetheless...it would probably be the reason for my personal issues? I don't want to blame my parents for everything, but I'm sure he is the cause of much of my issues.

He also cheated on my mother all the time while they were married. He also had a long term affair with a woman with the same first name as my mother. My mother also was driving on the freeway back home from work once and caught my father standing on the side of the freeway holding up a giant sign that read: "I love you Linda, marry me!" Well, my mother was already married to him...so it was definitely a sign meant for another Linda.

I'm tempted to try to talk with the children at my father's house and see if I can get them to tell me if my father has touched them, but I fear that I would be shooting myself in the foot. I might be labeled as a molester in the process.

I also thought about going to the county courthouse to check if his name comes up for registered sex offenders. This is really bothering me.

I hope that some people on this forum could please help me out with this.

Lexi232 · 08:12 AM