[Hellion]

When you're stuck in an unhealthy society? how does that work...I don't think all the therapy in the world can fix that. You know what they say about being well adjusted to a profoundly sick society....

Yet recovery is measured by how well you end up functioning in society and how much you 'contribute' though by contribute they mean work your ***** off, don't ask questions and be a consumer and buy everything they sell you. What is one to do? It's all just completely pointless, what are people working towards anyways what is so great to contributing to this when it should be getting dismantled...piece by piece but give people the illusion of freedom and well brilliant idea but that can only fool people for so long, or at least I hope so or all hope in humanity may as well be lost.

And from the look of it things aren't going so wonderfully in the rest of the world either.

[vonmoxie]

I don't disagree with any of this. It's why I'm of the belief that in the end, only I can define what a recovery means for me. I'm not even normally abnormal in such a way that the recoveries the industry is selling ever work for me. But maybe it's because my philosophical center of gravity is, like yours, not middle-of-the-consumer-road.

[Hellion]

There can be no recovery so long as this society remains a negative factor for mental health...only recovery would be to cure it of its ills or dismantle it, though even then damage has been done so I doubt I will ever have amazing mental health. Then again chaos of dismantled society could be a lot of stress to...but I don't see things changing via votes and petitions anytime soon.

[Hellion]

I think too deeply about things I guess....

[pegasus]

I think it can be depressing if we look at it too widely. I hate how people are so materialistic, life should be about living and feelings, not about how much money someone has! But yeah, therapy needs to be for you and your needs, not whether you need to fit into society.

[Hellion]

It is depressing, can go to therapy all I want but it wont change a damn thing about any of that. Besides I have been going to therapy mostly CBT and basically they just tell you to see things differently than you do, well what if the problem isn't how i see things, what if it is how things are.

I mean of course any useful therapy would not be about fitting into society, just saying if I have trouble functioning because of mental issues and don't fit into society how do I survive? Or better yet how do I thrive...this world disturbs me.

Good luck getting society to stop being based on consumerism and materialism though...because that's all it is, well that and the few very wealthy freeloading off the rest.

[Thunder Bow]

What is important is what is within you. That is your 1st world. That is the world you Must fit into. The 2nd world is "Society". The kind of Negativity your expressing here, is of the 2nd world. Drop that Negativity and start enjoying your 1st world.

[Hellion]

Just don't think I can ignore the world around me and live in blissful ignorance...I do try to distract myself some and enjoy some things but it doesn't get rid of the underlying feeling.

[thickntired]

[Hellion]

^lol, yes that sort of depicts how I feel about it....but whatever still got to try to enjoy some aspects of life, but over-all it's not getting better and that reality is depressing. No matter how many things I may be able to find to distract myself or try to enjoy it's still there and well obviously I am not fond of the society of which I live but I don't feel like there is any way to effectively make it better....What am I going to do start a protest and get arrested for 'disturbing the peace' or some crap? Petition the government because they care so much what poor people with or without mental issues think? Sort of seems futile...but at the same time I can't very well just accept it and be ok with it like CBT tries to teach you to do with everything.

Originally Posted by Hellion

^lol, yes that sort of depicts how I feel about it....but whatever still got to try to enjoy some aspects of life, but over-all it's not getting better and that reality is depressing. No matter how many things I may be able to find to distract myself or try to enjoy it's still there and well obviously I am not fond of the society of which I live but I don't feel like there is any way to effectively make it better....What am I going to do start a protest and get arrested for 'disturbing the peace' or some crap? Petition the government because they care so much what poor people with or without mental issues think? Sort of seems futile...but at the same time I can't very well just accept it and be ok with it like CBT tries to teach you to do with everything.

[pussinboots]

Have you ever had a good day when everything felt just right? Sometimes when we change something within ourselves everything around us seems to change... We can make (small) changes in society but we probably won't live to see a perfect world. What we can do is change the way we are and the way we feel, with practice and hope and by focusing on those things that are worth it. I do understand how you feel though, I've been there.

[8thstreetbungalow]

I have had my issues with society over the years. But one day I just realized how if you play your own personal part (taking care of yourself) you will mold right into society just fine.

[Hellion]

Well what is the point of existing if one is supposed to just change the way they are and how they feel?...and just stop being bothered by the state of things. I mean there are things that bother me that I think should bother me, things I think I should be angry about or angrier about I think there is already too much apathy and people ignoring the current issues and just going about in their bubble. I don't want to assimilate, and as for the SSI....well hopefully I can find another way, but for now it is what it is.

Seems all one can do is try to kill the pain enough to get by without submitting to suicidal urges, get on with life as long as you can and enjoy it some....but the over-all state of things are unlikely to improve and therefore it will continue contributing to how I feel.

[8thstreetbungalow]

It is all dependant on yourself. Everyone has their own craziness and quirks and everyone has issues with society. This goes for people diagnosed or not diagnosed.

I had a period of time cops would stalk me in public and they even would start to detain me and put me in mental hospitals.

You just gotta know that they are doing their jobs and not everyone is not going to like you. But if you focus on personal boundaries and practice the things that are taught at a hospital you gel into society (depending on your problems).

I agree is not completely fair for some people out there, but realize someone somewhere has it worse off.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by 8thstreetbungalow

It is all dependant on yourself. Everyone has their own craziness and quirks and everyone has issues with society. This goes for people diagnosed or not diagnosed.

I had a period of time cops would stalk me in public and they even would start to detain me and put me in mental hospitals.

You just gotta know that they are doing their jobs and not everyone is not going to like you. But if you focus on personal boundaries and practice the things that are taught at a hospital you gel into society (depending on your problems).

I agree is not completely fair for some people out there, but realize someone somewhere has it worse off.

Are cops just doing their job when they shoot people or peoples dogs without probable cause? I don't know I'd love to think all cops are just 'doing their job' but it seems plenty abuse their power which is well a bit threatening. Also no not everyone has issues with society some are perfectly happy with it and don't seem to see an issue with it. As long as they got their cable t.v and ipads and what not.

Also the idea there are others in the world that have it worse than me in a lot of ways just makes me more sad about the state of the world, I don't find any solace in the fact that I might have it better than someone else.

And I don't want to get into society, I don't want to assimilate....to a profoundly sick society that disturbs me...or develop any 'trust' for the system....not to mention mental health treatment options suck in this country CBT, ha give me a break never did an ounce of good for me and then the place I go to for therapy is always a big hassle, last time they told me the wrong time for an appointment and put figuring out how to resolve it all on me....thought they where supposed to be helping not giving me a headache. Also there should not be stigma to the point I am afraid to tell people I am on SSI, I mean I started seeing this guy I met and we're liking each other so far and he finally asked how I got what income I do and I was afraid to be honest but I did because I figured if they where really going to not want to see me again over that then f*** them...but I was quite anxious/nervous about telling him but luckily he didn't judge or anything but should someone really have to be afraid to say they are on government assistance over stupid stigma?

It is all dependent on myself I have to do something(just not sure what yet)....I can't passively sit by, its either that or I submit to the suicidal urges someday.

I don't expect everyone to like me, I also don't expect to just 'get over' all this, even if I don't focus on it, its still bothering me and that there is seemingly nothing I can do...except watch humanity kill itself and the planet with it, try to laugh at it over a beer or something but hey the dark reality still creeps in.

[8thstreetbungalow]

It is hard to get out of a dark place once you are in it. But regardless of what the world is like and what you are going to it is possible to shed some light in an empty abyss. It all revolves around yourself and your own perceptions. Let the world be the world, and worry about the things you CAN control (yourself). There are indeed people who abuse power and corruption everywhere in the world.

What helps me when im in a dark place is remembering ghandi.

These thoughts dont go away over night. They never will

Also, all because someone seems pleasant and pleased about society, doesnt mean they always were, or are.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by 8thstreetbungalow

It is hard to get out of a dark place once you are in it. But regardless of what the world is like and what you are going to it is possible to shed some light in an empty abyss. It all revolves around yourself and your own perceptions. Let the world be the world, and worry about the things you CAN control (yourself). There are indeed people who abuse power and corruption everywhere in the world.

What helps me when im in a dark place is remembering ghandi.

These thoughts dont go away over night. They never will

Also, all because someone seems pleasant and pleased about society, doesnt mean they always were, or are.

Except I don't seem all that able to control myself...I have ridiculous panic attacks, horrible depressed moods and get irritable under too much stress and all kinds of stuff I'd love to be in control of that I am not....I don't know I do my best to distract myself and enjoy things where I can but Idk empty abyss is still there regardless of any bit of light within it.

[8thstreetbungalow]

everything you describe is rough and yes to an extent you have no control. I believe these are perfect things to tell your T. I personally hold the opinion that i can overcome any obstacle that is inside my body.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by 8thstreetbungalow

everything you describe is rough and yes to an extent you have no control. I believe these are perfect things to tell your T. I personally hold the opinion that i can overcome any obstacle that is inside my body.

My T, sorry just haven't been having the greatest deal with this whole therapy thing no offense to you at all...last therapist I've been seeing is useless, meds they try giving me for depression are useless but gotta still be 'in treatment' for SSI or they'll question that I am really disabled or not....I mean I hope to figure something else out and become a bit more functional so I can make my own income but I hate that I have to try and play a stupid game with the mental health care system just to get a lousy check from the government to get by on till such time as I can find my own way. I honestly think going out into the forest with some kind caring people and tripping on acid would do me much more good than my experience so far with therapy.

[Buster1959]

Hi. Wow. My experience: I can't change the rest of the world, only my perception of it. I roll with people who lift me up...encourage me...I found a passions in life and feed them. I have a friend who says if you can't be spiritual in all your affairs...change your affairs. This has worked for me. It took some practice: finding those "happy" people; using post-its with inspiring quotes stuck to my mirror, steering wheel; yoga and meditation. Positive reinforcement. You do have a choice. If you have an issue, a support group. Good luck.

[8thstreetbungalow]

You dont have to stick with a therapist if you think the sessions arent good. You can always find another and keep getting new therapists until you find one that fits your own taste.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by 8thstreetbungalow

You dont have to stick with a therapist if you think the sessions arent good. You can always find another and keep getting new therapists until you find one that fits your own taste.

I know, though there are limited options with medicaid...and i Just don't feel this whole pharmaceutical treatment is what I need. But trying to find more options.

[Hellion]

At least I can find some solace in metal music and some more punk sort of stuff....I have to admit if it wasn't for music I'd have already offed myself. Literrally after my first suicide attempt I started listening to Pink Floyd, made a vow to myself that i couldn't kill myself till after i got and listened to all their albums, then since then I have find other things but for a while that got me through dark times.

[Hellion]