[concretegirl88]

Hi! I just joined this forum, specifically for help with questions about treatment and some support with coping skills. I didn't see a specific forum for questions about treatment, so I'm posting here. Any help is appreciated... particularly advice on long-term inpatient treatment.

I have spent a lot of time in psychiatric units over the last year... something like 3, ranging from 2 weeks to 3 days (so short, I believe, because I checked myself in). However, I still just can't function in daily life. I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, social and generalized anxiety disorder, and a panic disorder (that list will make anyone a little hopeless, right?).

In the past, most of my worst episodes were due to mania... but, now, I'm dealing with a horrible, long-lasting depression. I simply don't know how to deal with it psychologically. With the mania, I kind of learned how to recognize when it was going to get really bad... but not with this. I literally sit in bed or on the couch all day staring at the wall... no music, no tv, no book, nothing... just staring at the wall. My head carries enough entertainment on it's own. I've lost SO MANY JOBS because of my horrible panic disorder that I've just given up hope that I'll ever be able to hold one... which, obviously, causes horrible issues with loved ones, even when they're trying their very best to help and understand. I am lucky in that area.

The last year has brought me a lot of trauma and change. There are so. many. different. things. that have gone down, and I'm coping in extremely, err, "self-depricating If I need to expand on that I can, but I figured that's more for the support group forums.

Anyway, DOWN TO MY REAL POINT: I need help deciding if I should enter a long-term treatment program, and if so, I'd love ideas on where to go and/or how to research these programs. I'd prefer somewhere not too ridiculously far from my home in Northwest Florida (driving/day trip distance) because I need my family as involved as possible. My main problem is finding somewhere that is not state-run and finding out what kind of rules these facilities have.
Are there any where you're allowed a cell phone or internet access?
Could I bring my guitar, even though it has steel strings?
Do any allow access to music 24/7?
Are there any that allow leave-of-absence for an extended period of time or certain days of the week?
Would any allow online college classes?
And cigarrettes... when I'm manic, I need my cigarrettes.

Note: I've been through long-term drug rehab, and it was DETRIMENTAL to my treatment... but, then again, my counselor told me and my family that I was flat out lying about a sexual assault by a family member. It was insane. Point being, I know that some programs are great and will work with individual theraputic needs (music and my guitar), while others just don't really pay that much attention and just go through the motions.

End note: Because I know it will be asked, yes, my doctor has mentioned long-term programs... yes, I have tried pretty much every medication in the book... all of the doctors are out of ideas... and I've had multiple suicide attempts just in the last 6 months (I think that comes with the borderline).

Has anyone been in a long-term facility before and willing to describe your experience?

Thanks and sorry for the length. Private messages always welcome.

[kaliope]

hi concretegirl
i have my own list of diagnoses, bipolar, ptsd, dissociative disorder, agoraphobia, and panic disorder so you are not alone with your list of letters. it took me many years and switching meds almost monthly to find the right med combo to stabilize. i refused to stay on meds that "almost" worked or meds with side effects i didnt like. the only way you will find a treatment facility that works for you is to start researching them and emailing your questions. i would add..do you specialize in trauma? as that can exacerbate bipolar and borderline symptoms so if you get it treated appropriately those symptoms are likely to reduce. i dont know the name of it but there is a good trauma facility in texas. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Thunder Bow]

Why do you think you need long term care? Seems to me, you are on the right track in your own healing. The road was rough, but you seem to have made great progress! Maybe the best long term facility you can now check into, is your own self! You seem to know you got a life ahead of you!