[lonelygirl4]

After months of research I figured out what it is that has been causing me so much confusion and pain with every relationship. I am an abandoholic. This article sang to me because all of it rang true.
Abandoholics Anonymous | Fear of Abandonment | Abandonment Therapy | Abandonment Recovery | Susan Anderson

I am at what they call fear of engulfment swing. Hence I'm in a relationship where I have lost my interest and I don't know what to do. Do I need to end it and get treatment before I get into another one or is there a way to save the one I'm in. We live together and I moved cross country for him. We have finances together and apart would be difficult financially. We have a dog and cat together. He has been patient with me but we haven't had any intimacy since late October.

Please any advice.

[gayleggg]

I would seek counseling before jumping off into another relationship. I used to jump out of relationships before I thought I might be dumped. It took quite a bit of counseling to get past it and sometimes that old fear comes back. It also helped that I found a man that wouldn't give up on me.

You can get past it but it takes some work.

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[Crazy Hitch]

I always believe in hope

Is there a way to save the one I'm in - I second what gayleggg has adviced, any relationship requires work and with counseling you might be able to learn new strategies and form meaningful and healthy bonds with whom you interact with.

I'd definitely recommend giving counseling (couples) and your own therapy a try before ending the relationship and moving on for greener pastures, so to speak. There are also a lot of great articles on Psychcentral's main webpage under the top of relationships, bonding with your partner, etc.

[lywasq]

I have no suggestions but want to thank you. I'd never heard of this before but based on a quick skim of the page, I really identify as well.

[Idontsufferfrominsa]

I would definitely try counseling, single and couples. Helping him understand the problem is a big part of keeping things together. Unless you have a history of making huge life changes for men, you really care about this guy! Get and share all the information and help you can find!!:-) good luck

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