[hopeless85]

My son who is 20 and a fulltime college student had agreed to seek therapy for his anxiety/depression and also to see a family doctor about medication. With the therapist and doctor working together, he started on zoloft. It has been about 6 weeks. My son was drinking very heavy (at least a case a day on the weekends plus through out the week). His girlfriend is 21 and she bought it for him. When drinking, he can't stop and then he becomes mean and aggressive. They broke up about 2 times due to the drinking. I had started seeing a therapist which turned out to be the same one my son is now seeing so the therapist is well aware of the history of my son's drinking. I was so proud of him because it seemed like he stopped drinking for about 6 weeks. Then the therapist suggested an "as needed" anxiety pill and the regular family doc would not prescribe it due to his drinking history. So.... the therapist recommended a new family doctor. Said the one he was seeing was limiting his getting better. About 7 months ago, the family doc. prescribed my son 10mg of lexapro and refused to increase it. My son in about 280lbs and the therapist said with the family doc refusing to increase it, he was hindering his ability to overcome the anxiety so yesterday my son went to see a new doctor. This doctor prescribed him burspoine (spelling is off) 5mg twice a day. My son said he is to still take the zoloft.
PROBLEM::: Last night the girlfriend bought him beer. I had a feeling she did and after he left for work I checked his room. 14 cans of coors light were in the trash. So maybe she drank 2? That means he drank 12?? Seems kind of odd that he didn't drink when he seen the old family doctor but now the new one he starts. Wondering if he asked him about mixing the meds with alcohol. Needless to say,I am worried. Worried that he will resume the big time drinking again. Worried that the gf will break up again which I do not blame her but he gets very depressed when it happens and refuses to see the therapist then.. He was doing so good. I could see an improvement in him on the zoloft to. Why does this keep happening.

[healingme4me]

Sounds like his alcohol (ab)use is hindering his wellness and the gf is an enabler.
Family doctors aren't psychiatrists /psychopharmacologists. Such doctors are specialists with all the medications. Of course the other doctor was leary of prescribing an as needed anti anxiety medication.
Let me ask, did his therapist speak directly with you about 'finding another doctor that would' prescribe his medication?
Because I'm thinking along the lines that there's addictive behavior not just with beer. Funny that the gf showed back up with a new controlled substance in your home.
Can your therapist assist you with an intervention? Because you may need to tough love him, otherwise for your own security, so to speak...imo.

[avlady]

my son went through the same thing when with his girlfriend, needless to say they are not together anymore, and my son sneaks beer in his room by himself now. he does like vodka better which is worse too.he cant find a job because we are in the country, no car, hes had jobs he cant handle from adhd and depression, hes changed his doc 3 times now looking for a certain medication that is supposed to be very dangerous. therefore i can understand your situation, what do we do?

[avlady]

i am not sure what letters he has as his diagnosis add or whatever else it could be but it hinders him from focosing at a job. hes had 3 years of college, long rides back and forth to get there.hes been in 3 accidents so far, a hammer fell on his head one time too. please pray for him hes a mess!!

[pegasus]

Hello hopeless85,

It's your house so you can set ground rules for the girlfriend as she is enabling the habit and as you say, setting him right back. The medication is not going to have the right effect if mixed with alcohol and his anxiety is going to be a lot worse while he is still drinking alcohol. Unfortunately your son has got to want to change.

[shrekislovepepememe]

All I can really say is that his girlfriend is a HUGe enabler, and its terrible. She's crazy in the wrong for that, and you need to have some words with her supplying your underage son.

[llleeelllaaannneee]

Years ago I went to the doctor because I was having constant panic attacks. The doctor told me that alcohol would make my panic attacks/anxiety worse not while I was drinking but the next day. I didn't drink daily at the time so I could see what this doctor said was absolutely true.

I'm not really sure why you and your son are seeing the same therapist. I understand there could be many reasons that this came about but it's really less than ideal in most cases.

It sounds like he's taking the generic version of buspar. I took that med and it increased my anxiety. Many antidepressants increase my anxiety, celexa (similar to lexapro) is one that does not. When I take antidepressants I become apathetic and am more likely to indulge in unhealthy things because I just don't care (it's a weird catch 22 where I feel less 'depressed' but unmotivated to do the best for myself).

I agree with others that the girlfriend buying him beer is messed up. If he's an alcoholic he may some nutritional deficiencies. An extra healthy diet may help just as much as an antidepressant. I recently read that yogurt helps with anxiety!!! The idea was that a lot of our neurotransmitters are made in our gut. I'm not saying meds are bad by any means or that buspar is making him drink again. I'm just noting that some of us, myself, have a hard time controlling anxiety with meds because many increase the anxiety at least in the beginning.

[finding_my_way]

he definitely should not be mixing medication and alcohol.

my sister was on antidepressants and drinking heavily, and the mix of the two made her symptoms a lot worse. the antidepressants also numbed her a lot more than she already was from alcohol. it was really scary for me to see her like that because i knew her depression was more situational (a break up), and instead of actually trying to see a therapist to talk through it and get support, she was prescribed a medication.

i don't believe she needed medication, especially not while she was determined to keep drinking...and people don't seem to realize that alcohol IS a depressant, so you can't expect a med to magically make things okay if you are drinking while taking one...plus all the other complications that can happen by mixing the two.

I understand what you and yours are going through.

You need to get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting ASAP

You need as much help as your son

I hope things improve soon and while I do agree the girlfriend is an enabler, the responsibility is on your son to change. Also, assuming the drinking age is 21, he will be able to buy his own alcohol soon? I'm not condoning her behavior...at all....but I do believe it is up to him to make changes. No one is pouring alcohol down his throat.

I also think it would be wise if you had a separate therapist.

I don't drink anymore but I can tell you from personal experience that his meds will likely not work if he is drinking. It literally cancelled out the good effects of Zoloft, for me. He's drinking heavily, too, I hope he gets help because it's not safe mixing alcohol with meds.

Rebound anxiety is huge with drinking...my anxiety would skyrocket the day after drinking. I'm sorry he is suffering and you are, as well.

My last thought: he may be physically dependent on alcohol at this point since he is a chronic drinker and a heavy drinker. He may be "needing" to drink daily because he is withdrawing otherwise. Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly. Not to scare you. But that may be why his girlfriend is enabling him so he can stave off withdrawals. If he has lied to you about his drinking before or has attempted to hide the drinking ... he very well may not have been sober for those six weeks.

Thinking of you. xo