[sw76]

Could do with some help if you have the time
I don’t know why but i always feel a sense of shame around relationships and liking/loving someone, also a real difficulty with physical affection. I can be open about my emotions and such but when it comes to physically expressing that i really struggle and almost feel detatched and really overwhelmingly anxious. Another thing i’ve noticed is an urge to get away from people when i feel attatched or strong emotions about them, i don’t know whether this is a defence mechanism but it’s preventing me from developing real relationships and is the source of a large amount of my anxieties. I do want to express myself in this way but it is almost painful to try. It’s ruined some good relationships in the past that still effect me now.
Any observations or advice on this would be appreciated. Thanks

[CANDC]

Hi sw. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are feeling difficulty with relationships. Often we are told conflicting things like being a good sex partner, or being intimate before having sex or just don't have sex. No wonder we are confused. Therapists can help us go beyond the conditioning we are brought up with and help us come out of our shells.

Here is an article on 5 steps of intimacy that helps give an idea what stage you are on.
The 5 Intimacy Stages Of A Relationship | World of Psychology

there are other articles search at Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

[sw76]

Thanks for the link, but its not the stages of a relationship that are making my life difficult. Im currently avoiding romantic/sexual relationships because i find them so anxiety inducing and cause all kinds of c onfidence crises for me. the only sexual experiences ive had have occurred when i was drunk and even then i felt uncomfortable. I dont know what to do because whenever ive pursued a relationship its always crashed and burned and i'd rather not be alone forever.