[jlm1960]

Does Borderline Personality Disorder always need to have the fear of abandonment component. I don't want to be alone but I have been alone most of my life but I put up with people that treat me with disrespect and cruelty and always go back for more just because they are all I have. It is preferable to being alone with my demons. But I don't go to extremes to get someone to stay with me. I'm just trying to figure this out. In process of looking for a good fit for therapist/psychiatrist. Easier said than done especially when you live in corn country.

[moodycow]

th e abandonment issues can surface in many different ways which are not always obvious.

[*Laurie*]

Someone can have traits of BPD without having all the symptoms.

[Tauren]

I don't know if it does or not but it sounds like you do have a pretty strong fear of abandonment, if you're willing to put up with disrespect just to have people in your life.

I'm not sure fear of abandonment is a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. But regardless it is your demon to deal with. Perhaps these 'friendships' of yours are not on your terms and hence quite toxic.

The obvious andwer is to make new aquaintanceships, but I realize this seems like an impossible task to do. Maybe start with listing off to yourself the qualities you DO want in a friend before searching them out. Make a list next of where you are most likely to find such people. I just recently started a walking and yoga program and have met some potential aquaintanceships. I have several from my support group too. What I am saying is that it is easier than you think to find potential friends.

I don't want to be alone but I have been alone most of my life but I put up with people that treat me with disrespect and cruelty and always go back for more just because they are all I have.

I understand this sentiment very well. I've thought this kind of relationship was always better than being alone so the abuse was acceptable. Being alone in corn country as you said makes it exceptionally hard. I'd be working on an escape plan.

I've got other parts that deal with this type of personality disorder

I've done the same as a naive teen. Knowing what I know now, I should of cut ties and walked my own path. All it did was prolonged a life born into abuse, I was getting it at home and away from it. 20/20.