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  #1  
Old Oct 28, 2015, 09:22 PM
JsInLoveWC JsInLoveWC is offline
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Ok long story short,took my friend to whole foods, she went to the restoom,I continued shopping with her groceries in the cart, 10 mins later I find out she's reshopped the things she already put in my cart claiming she couldn't find me so she bought those things and left me with a cart full of her unbought things, she walked over to trader Joe's and bought some other things, what does this mean, we both have cellphones but she didn't text to see if I was still in the store with her stuff, I'm thinking it might be a little passive aggressive,thoughts?
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  #2  
Old Oct 29, 2015, 12:52 PM
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Thunder Bow Thunder Bow is offline
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You are right, it was passive aggressive lack of communication on her part.
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  #3  
Old Oct 29, 2015, 01:30 PM
avlady avlady is offline
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sounds like it!!!
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  #4  
Old Oct 29, 2015, 02:09 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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Hello JsInLoveWC,
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this is passive aggressive. Can you explain to me why you think this, had you just had an arguement? It may be that the person could not find you as she stated and needed to get the shopping done. Does the person have anxiety or memory issues, dissociation issues or attention issues? There could be a genuine reason for the behaviour.
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  #5  
Old Oct 29, 2015, 10:26 PM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JsInLoveWC View Post
Ok long story short,took my friend to whole foods, she went to the restoom,I continued shopping with her groceries in the cart, 10 mins later I find out she's reshopped the things she already put in my cart claiming she couldn't find me so she bought those things and left me with a cart full of her unbought things, she walked over to trader Joe's and bought some other things, what does this mean, we both have cellphones but she didn't text to see if I was still in the store with her stuff, I'm thinking it might be a little passive aggressive,thoughts?
Thanks
Perhaps she was upset that you did not wait for her to return from the restroom before shopping? If that be the case, I would assume her actions to be passive-aggressive. This seems like the sort of thing you should discuss with the person in question.
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  #6  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 05:49 PM
JsInLoveWC JsInLoveWC is offline
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She does have anxiety issues, and she did just
Get out of her therapy session right before hand, but it was weird, like between the time we drove from her session to the store everything was fine,we even had a great conversation about heaven and who gets to go out was a great conversation, then we start shopping, then she had to go use the restroom,I'm a big guy in a small store she could have found me or at least texted. .....I had to text her to see if she was still in the restroom,only to find out she had left me in there, it baffled my mind,and from there on all the way back to her house she was quiet and distant,I even asked her did you think I left you there? She said idk maybe a little,I'm like why would I leave you thereworn your stuff in my cart, why would I leave you there but stay at your therapists office for am hour during her session, why would i leave her when I'm always there for her and she knows I'm in love with her, I know she's going through a lot I do, but I was just curious to the type of behavior that was because I don't believe it to be a "normal "thing to do.
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  #7  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 05:55 PM
JsInLoveWC JsInLoveWC is offline
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Originally Posted by MiddayNap View Post
Perhaps she was upset that you did not wait for her to return from the restroom before shopping? If that be the case, I would assume her actions to be passive-aggressive. This seems like the sort of thing you should discuss with the person in question.

That was mentioned, and she did mention that she kinda thought I left the store but instead of texting she just rebought the stuff that she had already put in my cart,them left the store completely to the store next door,
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  #8  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 06:11 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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I agree with pegasus. I need more information before deciding that your friend is p-a. She might be extremely shy, she could have cognitive issues. I just don't know.
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  #9  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 10:00 PM
Marty_S Marty_S is offline
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It depends on the lager context. One could suggest continuing to shop while she was busy in the restroom is passive aggressive too.

I don't think you were. Most likely you just didn't want to waste time in the store sitting around right?

Gotta give them a break unless there's a pattern. Look for patterns of this kind of behavior. One instance is not enough to conclude anything.
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  #10  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 10:46 PM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JsInLoveWC View Post
That was mentioned, and she did mention that she kinda thought I left the store but instead of texting she just rebought the stuff that she had already put in my cart,them left the store completely to the store next door,
Do you think she felt guilty that you were willing to do so much for her and sort of had to "escape" for a bit?
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  #11  
Old Oct 31, 2015, 03:16 PM
JsInLoveWC JsInLoveWC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
Hello JsInLoveWC,
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this is passive aggressive. Can you explain to me why you think this, had you just had an arguement? It may be that the person could not find you as she stated and needed to get the shopping done. Does the person have anxiety or memory issues, dissociation issues or attention issues? There could be a genuine reason for the behaviour.
There was no hurry to shop as I was her ride anyways,no arguments, she is a smart girl and easily could have texted me to find where I was, with her stuff in my cart like there was no reason to believe that I put her stuff back onto the shelves and left and instead of confirming that she reshopped it which any way I try too look at it it still doesn't make sense logically other than a passive aggressive action because I didn't wait for her meat tyne restroom (we've talked about this) now it is confirmed that it was passive aggressive for reasons of feeling a little abandoned,me not waiting for her, and her just having her therapy session all got to beer in that moment
  #12  
Old Oct 31, 2015, 03:24 PM
JsInLoveWC JsInLoveWC is offline
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Originally Posted by MiddayNap View Post
Do you think she felt guilty that you were willing to do so much for her and sort of had to "escape" for a bit?

No I don't believe that, she has a very small bladder and she was also on her monthly
  #13  
Old Oct 31, 2015, 03:36 PM
JsInLoveWC JsInLoveWC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marty_S View Post
It depends on the lager context. One could suggest continuing to shop while she was busy in the restroom is passive aggressive too.

I don't think you were. Most likely you just didn't want to waste time in the store sitting around right?

Gotta give them a break unless there's a pattern. Look for patterns of this kind of behavior. One instance is not enough to conclude anything.
She did wonder why I didn't wait, and I wasn't aware that I should stay there and wait, and we just had talked about boundaries like the night or so before,and this wasn't one of the things brought up, but I know I have my passive aggressive moments but it wasn't in this moment lol
  #14  
Old Oct 31, 2015, 04:40 PM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
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If I went to the bathroom and my friend didn't wait for me - or at least say, 'Hey, if you don't mind I'm going to keep shopping...is that okay with you?' - I would have felt somewhat hurt. I would think my friend was trying to rush through our time together, or just trying to disregard me being with her.

The women and bathroom thing is always touchy, lol.
  #15  
Old Nov 01, 2015, 08:34 AM
Anonymous37784
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I continued shopping with her groceries in the cart

Um, you left HER. Why didn't you wait at the restrooms for her to return? Perhaps she is the one miffed. I certainly would have been. Also, you asked why she didn't call you. Why didn't you call her? Her behaviour was perfectly normal as a result.
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