[GeekieChic]

I’m 19 years old, and this is my first time getting therapy. I used to be depressed and suicidal two years ago (untreated, undiagnosed - I just stopped feeling that way after six or seven months). Then I had another episode last year in December for about a month (again depressed, considering suicide). That went away once I got into the whole ‘self-help positivity’ craze, and I thought I had somehow cured myself.

But for the past four or five months now, I’ve been having these recurring episodes which are triggered by the smallest of things – my landlord shouts at me, my roommate is being annoying, my flight is delayed – and I completely break down. I start having depressive thoughts about my future, my looks, my lack of a social life... and I start wishing I were dead. These episodes last for a few hours or a few days during which I tend to skip college, some meals, my workout routine, and spend most of my day sleeping or crying.
These episodes are usually spaced out, and don't occur every time something bad or stressful happens (never felt this way during finals or internship interviews or apartment-hunting or anything that gives me a stress migraine). They used to occur once a month, then twice a month, and now it’s happening almost every week for a day or two. I haven't experienced any manic episodes at all.

I went to a therapist last week, and after a psych evaluation (MMPI-2), she said I’m not depressed, but merely highly sensitive, and not bipolar like we’d earlier thought. I’m on vacation now and my next appointment isn’t till the new year, and I’ve just had a depressive episode (last episode was just a week ago, right before I made an appointment with the therapist).

These episodes are making life very difficult for me, and I don’t know how the psych evaluation could have been incorrect. Was it because I took it when I was feeling normal? Should I ask my therapist to do another assessment? Does anyone have any idea what is wrong with me? I can’t live like this, especially not when these episodes are becoming more and more frequent and intense. Please help me.

[M3233]

I'm sorry you are feeling that way! I'm not familiar with the test, but it might be that you were feeling better, like you said. I know personally, I think things in general are going better when I'm not in the middle of a rough patch. Definatley express your concerns with your T. I hope you figure out what's going on and get on the path to feeling better soon! And if you do start to think about harming yourself, please get help immediately.

[yagr]

The MMPI-2 is a tool to determine where a person is emotionally - at this very moment. Unfortunately, at 567 questions, it's not like you can answer them every session. Personally, I don't have a lot of faith in the MMPI-2 for this reason. Typically, and in my opinion, those who use the MMPI-2 for evaluation purposes tend to place too much stock in the results.

Have you considered seeing someone else? Perhaps not immediately, but express your concerns to your therapist, and if you don't feel that your concerns are being addressed seriously enough, find someone else.

[GeekieChic]

Thanks, guys. My next session is on the 5th... I'll see if I can talk things through with my T, otherwise I'll consider finding someone else.

[ologist]

? The MMPI-2 tests for depression ?

GeekieChic, just a guess but your symptoms may fall short of DSM criteria in terms of duration. Your therapy may be the same no matter your official dx, practically speaking. Again, just thinking out loud.

Good luck with your next session.

[gayleggg]

You might want to see a psychiatrist for an assessment. Maybe a low dose of an antidepressant would help.

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[Thunder Bow]

No need to seek bad feelings and confirm that you think you are depressed. You do not need that. You seem to have common anxiety around normal life events, and have a tendency to want to feel bad about your self and life. Seems you are wanting re-enforcement of these bad feelings. This could be something you may want to talk with your therapist about.

[*Laurie*]

I agree with gayleggg. Based on my own experience, I am skeptical of therapists who pass off what I feel is symptomatic of mental illness as "sensitivity". Truly, being sensitive should enhance our lives, not make us feel bad.

[GeekieChic]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

No need to seek bad feelings and confirm that you think you are depressed. You do not need that. You seem to have common anxiety around normal life events, and have a tendency to want to feel bad about your self and life. Seems you are wanting re-enforcement of these bad feelings. This could be something you may want to talk with your therapist about.

Trust me, I definitely don't want to reinforce my bad feelings. At the moment, I'm in my normal state, and I'm feeling very happy and energetic and in no wish to feel any other way... although I do admit I'm worried about when the next episode will be, especially since I can't figure out what triggers it.
Thanks for replying, though! Have a great new year.

[GeekieChic]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

I agree with gayleggg. Based on my own experience, I am skeptical of therapists who pass off what I feel is symptomatic of mental illness as "sensitivity". Truly, being sensitive should enhance our lives, not make us feel bad.

Agreed. I have always been sensitive, whether to criticism, stress, lighting or even sound, but never had this bad a reaction to any of them (usually it just annoys or irritates me slightly). I don't think my sensitivity is what triggers these episodes, which is why I hope my therapist and I can work things out.
Happy new year!