[IA_2809]

Even for such a thing as trying to state personal issues in coherent, eloquent and properly representative words for asking help (or rather just being listened), it's like it's asking for lots of energy resources for conceiving a way for the other to barely get a notion. For an answer that probably, as well-intentioned as it is, it won't worth that much.

Don't know you people, but even when I've instances for venting how drowned I am, I feel like it worths too little for doing it, if not even a risky action for getting more hurt. Also, this sense of falsity "oh yeah i'm with you, but... ****, I've my life as well. my gf's waiting, raise the mood!! cya!! ^^".

I feel less and less willing to talk anything to anyone. I feel closer and closer to something that may be too dim to imagine.

[avlady]

i think people need to sometimes vent and instead of using their friends and relatives that might get sick of it or disagree, they come here where they know someone can relate usually in some manner, it helps a person by getting things off their chest. i think as a reader i listen to what people are saying and it gives me a sense of purpous in some small way to know i may have helped someone.

[IA_2809]

Originally Posted by avlady

i think people need to sometimes vent and instead of using their friends and relatives that might get sick of it or disagree, they come here where they know someone can relate usually in some manner, it helps a person by getting things off their chest. i think as a reader i listen to what people are saying and it gives me a sense of purpous in some small way to know i may have helped someone.

Asides you don't know if someone will actually relate, I think a huge issue is that people tend to believe what others are expressing is pretty much what they do/did out of listening similar words, but that's usually far from reality. We could say "oh, great, someone get it" when that's actually not the case and there's no one to tell what's actually being meant and comprehended.

So, in the end, most of people won't listen/read you but themselves (and this is something I may fall as well). It's not a selfish, ill-intended phenomenon. I like more to address it for how useless and subjective are our ways of communicating, and how even a hug would probably transmit more of a feeling (sth I can't have given I've no one to vent in a trustworthy conversation in real life).

Good question and points. I know this may sound weird, but I like to read people's venting on here because I can relate to it or they're able to articulate my emotions regarding a certain issue / idea. It can be very helpful to me from time to time.

Confession is good for the soul. Not to get too ex-catholic about it.

Seriously, just saying it in a safe place can help. A way of just biotiching. No one needs to comment or relate.

[IA_2809]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Confession is good for the soul. Not to get too ex-catholic about it.

Seriously, just saying it in a safe place can help. A way of just biotiching. No one needs to comment or relate.

Sounds super-rational, yet humans aren't particularly like that in real situations. Most of people I've met enough to pen myself feels the need to impulsively give unsolicited advice or judge my position after doing it. Not saying they're to blame, though; do the exercise yourself for listening others, you'll sympathize with having a hard time about not falling for it. The little game becomes exhausting after a while.I start to think ideas I won't post here.

I vent because it is actually a physical release from the tension I feel. My anxiety makes it all but impossible to tell the people around me when something is bothering me. I use to blog rather extensively but it is no replacement for the ability to be heard.

I see venting as a mechanical process. Too much pressure builds up... vent. I don't think I do it often though. I seldom vent, whine, complain, or rant. I've found that it isn't very helpful to me and it just isn't my nature.
I may have just validated or confirmed something you feel and I'm wondering if that has the potential to do more harm than good. Hope not. Just sharing.

[lizardlady]

My reason for venting echoes what George said. It's a way to let off steam. Some times I do it with friends, some times I do it here. Used to be I self-injured. I find doing it verbally or in writing is healthier for me. A friend of mine used to encourage me to write e-mails to the person I was mad at, only send it to him. It allowed me to express my anger and "send it away" without getting me in trouble for ripping someone's head off.

I'm wondering if that has the potential to do more harm than good.

George, if I'm understanding you correctly, you are wondering if venting can do more harm than good. Sometimes. If a person doesn't find other ways of coping and their go-to reaction is to rant and rave they are holding themselves back.

Originally Posted by lizardlady

My reason for venting echoes what George said. It's a way to let off steam. Some times I do it with friends, some times I do it here. Used to be I self-injured. I find doing it verbally or in writing is healthier for me. A friend of mine used to encourage me to write e-mails to the person I was mad at, only send it to him. It allowed me to express my anger and "send it away" without getting me in trouble for ripping someone's head off.

George, if I'm understanding you correctly, you are wondering if venting can do more harm than good. Sometimes. If a person doesn't find other ways of coping and their go-to reaction is to rant and rave they are holding themselves back.

No Liz, it occurred to me as I was finishing my post that how I view venting may have a bad influence in the way the OP feels about it or reinforce his/her views.

...it's like it's asking for lots of energy resources for conceiving a way for the other to barely get a notion. For an answer that probably, as well-intentioned as it is, it won't worth that much.
I feel less and less willing to talk anything to anyone. I feel closer and closer to something that may be too dim to imagine.

For me there is a fine line between sharing somethin that is troubling me and venting, which I associate with aiming for self vindication. I or someone else has to say stop and change the topic sometimes to avoid repeating the same cycles of the discussion. Once a suggestion for solution is given and analyzed, I try to end the chapter in the comversation and move on, since wallowing in a problem or self pitty is rarely useful. But often I keepdiging deeper into the problem, look at the circumstances surrounding it from all sides and feel my exasperation growing in the process. It helps to have someone stop me in those moments when I am too deep to see thigs clearly. I am in lots of ways set in my own ways and although I try to grow as a person, certain challenges I have make it difficult to put goals like less venting into practice. I become so upset when I realize I vented half an hour to someone instead of chatting about something uplifting. I can maye print a poster with a grumpy cat that reminds me to not vent so much

[globularrae]

We can never know if anyone truly understands, fully grasps what it is we are telling them. I've often wondered if it was just an illusion that people know me and know what I've shared with them.

I think unsolicited advice comes from a place of "Oh he's talking to me, he must want me to solve something." I think we all feel like fixers to some extent. Some people way more than others.

When someone vents the only way to not offer advice is to process the communication and say "I hear what you are saying." Which can also come off as disingenuous. There's no way to win, I guess. Sometimes when somebody doesn't tell me how they relate to what I've said, I feel like they haven't heard me at all. Maybe I'm just annoying!

I'm pretty sure what I do at therapy is venting. So I won't say it's useless