[yagr]

Hi folks,

I have to fill this self-questionnaire out and, as always, I have difficulty understanding many of the questions. I was wondering if someone would mind helping me to answer the questions that I don't know how to answer. If anyone is willing, I'll post the questions here and explain the cause of my confusion. I'll give one such question now, just to kind of give you an idea what I'm struggling with.

e.g. In the last thirty days, how much difficulty did you have in:
D3.3: Eating

The five possible answers are: none, mild, moderate, severe, extreme/cannot do.

If eating requires preparation, then most days I can no longer do it due to physical disabilities. Occasionally, perhaps two to three times a week, I'll manage to make something requiring less than five minutes preparation time, but the rest of the time I'm out of luck.

If eating doesn't require preparation, then I can do it usually - though my doctor has me on a soft foods because my throat muscles don't always work. When that happens, the food gets stuck and I can't breathe. Usually, it can get forced down with a blast of water from a high pressure source I keep handy, but occasionally it'll exit out my nose or mouth. Occasionally is maybe three times a week when I ignore my doctors dietary recommendations and once a week when I follow his suggestions.

So, it's not extreme if I don't eat solid foods - but that seems a little extreme in and of itself doesn't it? And once a week is one meal out of twenty-one (at three meals a day) so just under 5% of the time it doesn't work out - and that's only one bite out of who knows how many. Although once I have such an attack the meal is over and no more bites are forthcoming. A 5% failure rate doesn't seem extreme but it's extremely physically traumatic.

Anyway, I've got ten days till I have to turn this in - I not asking anyone to answer them for me, just make sense out of them for me so I can answer them myself.

[Raindropvampire]

I always look at questions like that as me VS a completely healthy person. SO the fact that you have dietary/preparation restrictions whereas a completely healthy person would not...IMHO I'd rate that as moderate to severe probably erring on the side of severe.

When I was helping hubby fill out his disability papers that was what his doc and Pdoc told us, don't look at it as you look at it as you VS a perfectly healthy person. Because hubby had been ill so long we'd made so many "systems" to help him through his day that to us we'd rate things at none or mild and the doc would throw an absolute hissy fit saying that it was severe. That if a healthy person had to go through the processes he did they would think it was a major impairment.

I hope that made sense

[yagr]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I always look at questions like that as me VS a completely healthy person. SO the fact that you have dietary/preparation restrictions whereas a completely healthy person would not...IMHO I'd rate that as moderate to severe probably erring on the side of severe.

When I was helping hubby fill out his disability papers that was what his doc and Pdoc told us, don't look at it as you look at it as you VS a perfectly healthy person. Because hubby had been ill so long we'd made so many "systems" to help him through his day that to us we'd rate things at none or mild and the doc would throw an absolute hissy fit saying that it was severe. That if a healthy person had to go through the processes he did they would think it was a major impairment.

I hope that made sense

It made tremendous sense and was very helpful. I can work with that and such advice works for many questions...so thank you for many answers. I still have other questions to which the advice doesn't seem to work (for me), so I'd like to ask about those too. I don't want to hold you hostage though, so if you choose to bow out, I understand...anyone is free to help - and I'm very grateful for any help I get.

There is a section called, 'Getting along with people' - section D. Here are the questions, the answers remain the same - mild to extreme/can't do.

D4.1 Dealing with people you do not know.
D4.2 Maintaining a friendship.
D4.3 Getting along with people who are close to you.
D4.4 Making new friends.
D4.5 Sexual activities.

D4.1 Dealing with people you do not know.

What does 'dealing' mean in this context? And referring to the amount of 'difficulty' - are they asking whether or not you can successfully do it, or are they asking what it costs you emotionally? I have given hundreds of paid presentations from the American Psychiatric Association to the FBI to an infomercial I starred in. I am incredibly competent - but I'll go sit in a closet for two hours afterwards detoxing from the experience. The 'dealing with' is relatively seamless - I just put on the mask and press play. The emotional toll however, is stratospheric.

I can't apply the "me vs a normal person" guide because versus a normal person, I am much more competent in getting it done successfully, but I pay a much higher price than a normal person...at least I assume I do, I don't know what others feel.

D4.2 Maintaining a friendship.

The section heading says, "dealing with people", in other words, people plural. I've had one friend in my life and I've maintained that for thirty years. She's my wife. I could write a lengthy explanation on this, but I think maybe my problem figuring out how to answer this is obvious. Part of me wants to answer 'none', because I have successfully done this - but part of me thinks I should answer 'severe' because versus a normal person, only ever having only one friend is abnormal.

D4.3 Getting along with people who are close to you.

Again, does one constitute 'people' - plural? In thirty years I have never had a fight with my wife, or even a serious disagreement. So 'none' if one person qualifies.

D4.4 Making new friends.

I don't want new friends. I suppose I could do it easily if I wanted them...but is someone a friend if you have to detox from the time spent with them? I'm going to skip the last question - not because I have the answer but it's tmi.

Thanks to anyone who can help.

[kecanoe]

Dealing with people you don't know I would understand as seeking help from someone in a store, calling insurance agent things like that. Your presentations IMO are not really dealing with people.
Maintaining a friendship-I would say can't do; "friend" is often understood as someone other than a spouse
Getting along with people who are close to you-since your wife is the only one close to you and you get along well, I would say none
Making new friends: you don't do this so I would say "can't do"

[yagr]

Thank you so very much...just wanted to say a couple of things because I don't want to misrepresent myself...you said,

Originally Posted by kecanoe

Dealing with people you don't know I would understand as seeking help from someone in a store, calling insurance agent things like that. Your presentations IMO are not really dealing with people.

You're right, of course, but I was trying to suggest that I CAN talk to people. I can ask for help in a store...but I'd much rather be lost and spend four hours trying to find it without asking. Same with calling an insurance agent - I can, and my call might be the highlight of their day cause I'll be witty and friendly and whatever...but I'd rather have a root canal without anesthesia. So again - can do without logistical difficulties but can't do without emotional difficulties.

Originally Posted by kecanoe

Maintaining a friendship-I would say can't do; "friend" is often understood as someone other than a spouse

So you'd say can't do even though I'm socially capable, because I don't or won't - right?

Originally Posted by kecanoe

Getting along with people who are close to you-since your wife is the only one close to you and you get along well, I would say none

Yay! I got one right!

Originally Posted by kecanoe

Making new friends: you don't do this so I would say "can't do"

So just to clarify...and see if I can use some of this for other questions that are similar: If I "don't" do something, that's the same as "can't" for the purposes of this questionnaire?

Again, thank you so much for your input!

[kecanoe]

Yes, I think that you not doing something (because it is so emotionally draining/difficult/toxic) counts as "can't" for the purpose of this questionnaire. If you rarely do it, I would count it as severe.

I say this because for many people, dealing with people is no problem emotionally. Nor is making friends. In fact, many people like it. So your (and my for that matter) avoidance of these things is an extreme behavior.

[Raindropvampire]

I apologize for how I had to put in my answers but I've never mastered the multiquote function

Originally Posted by yagr

[/B]What does 'dealing' mean in this context? And referring to the amount of 'difficulty' - are they asking whether or not you can successfully do it, or are they asking what it costs you emotionally? I have given hundreds of paid presentations from the American Psychiatric Association to the FBI to an infomercial I starred in. I am incredibly competent - but I'll go sit in a closet for two hours afterwards detoxing from the experience. The 'dealing with' is relatively seamless - I just put on the mask and press play. The emotional toll however, is stratospheric.

[I]We were told by his Pdoc that a fully healthy person is mentally adroit and can deal with people in most(if not all) settings work, shopping, bumping into someone and excusing themselves, business dealings, banking etc and be fine afterwards because the interactions should cause minimal stress and take no to very little mental/emotional toll. So I'd say that is a severe impairment. Yes you can do it but you pay out the wazoo for doing it[/I]

D4.2 Maintaining a friendship.

The section heading says, "dealing with people", in other words, people plural. I've had one friend in my life and I've maintained that for thirty years. She's my wife. I could write a lengthy explanation on this, but I think maybe my problem figuring out how to answer this is obvious. Part of me wants to answer 'none', because I have successfully done this - but part of me thinks I should answer 'severe' because versus a normal person, only ever having only one friend is abnormal.

Pdoc and doc told him that spouse/family do not count as friends. So if your wife is your only friendship then from the criteria that we were given that would be can't do.

D4.3 Getting along with people who are close to you.

Again, does one constitute 'people' - plural? In thirty years I have never had a fight with my wife, or even a serious disagreement. So 'none' if one person qualifies.

I'll be honest I don't remember covering this one with the docs but I'd say one person does not constitute getting along with people. Whether it's that you don't want to or can't it's the same thing IMHO.

D4.4 Making new friends.

I don't want new friends. I suppose I could do it easily if I wanted them...but is someone a friend if you have to detox from the time spent with them?

I agree with kecanoe even if it's just that you don't want to because of the emotional toll being around people takes I'd say that's a can't do.

Thanks to anyone who can help.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I apologize for how I had to put in my answers but I've never mastered the multiquote function

Pfft! Apologizing for helping me? I'd hit you on the head with a feather pillow for that if you were closeby.

Thank you so, so, very much for all your help. So much may be riding on this upcoming evaluation and I firmly believe that if this psychologist "sees" me, really sees me, then the truth will, as the saying goes, set me free. However, the psychiatrist and therapist who have referred me for 'diagnostic confirmation' have not seen me even close to accurately and so, without these upcoming test results coming back accurately (of which this questionnaire is obviously just a preliminary step), I will be mis-characterized.

You didn't ask, but I'd like to volunteer that this battery of psych tests are going to be used to determine my psychological disability as I await a hearing with a Social Security Disability judge. Though I have ample physical disabilities, I have been denied twice previously since opening this case and frankly, I have no backup plan on how to continue to survive if the judge denies me at the hearing level. My lawyer wants to add a psychological component to my case to insure that I get the desired outcome.

Since such questionnaires and tests are nearly impossible for me to answer without help, I often return with inconclusive results. Your help is going to get me off to a good start. Thank you (both) again.

[Raindropvampire]

You're most welcome and my last bit of advice: Be completely honest. One of the biggest problems we had was my hubby presents MUCH better than he is so the judges and people assessing him got to see public hubby. He hates for strangers to think badly of him or that he's incompetent so he sucks it up and seems very normal(what's that right?) and people think he's fine. They don't get to see the aftermath at home when he's a shaking broken down mess trying to recover from the social interaction. I really think if he'd let his pride take a hit and showed them the mess(and I don't mean that as harsh as that sounds just can't think of a better word) he really is he'd have gotten approved sooner.

I actually taped a day with him and got the psychologist that did his last review to watch it. Showed how he's fine if he's out but then he comes home and paces or cries or just sits and rocks back and forth and snaps at everyone from the stress of dealing with being out of the house.

I wish you the best of luck with your case

[avlady]

good luck!!!!i also have a problem swallowing and am having a procedure done to check out my stomache and throat and esophogous. i will be under i think.