[Man92]

Uhh hi, I need help in knowing if I have some sort of mental illness or not.
I don't really know what to write, but I'll try my best. Recently (the past year, possibly longer), I have felt strange, though I don't know what it is. I'll just write out a bunch of stuff that might help someone help me as I am not good with words:
I feel constantly tired, never awake, I always check myself to see if I still exist (probably sounds weird, not sure why I do it to be honest), I usually feel no emotions what-so-ever, if someone did something nice for me, I wouldn't be like a normal person and say 'wow thank you so much!', i would be more likely to just say 'thanks' in some sort of monotone way, even if its a really amazing thing. I stopped being able to cry a while ago (I used to cry every day before I went to sleep for around an hour at a time), that is when I stopped feeling proper sadness. My emotions went away one by one, now I don't care about anything, no motivation to do anything and I don't have any kind of dream. I don't and never have looked up to anyone, I don't feel love for anyone (apart from my dog, at least i think its love), if my family died i probably wouldn't care even though they treat me so well, sometimes my head feels like its being compressed by nothing, i play games online every day even though i don't even like playing games (i don't really like anything.. I can't think of anything that I would like to do), sometimes i laugh at my reflection in the mirror for no reason, i don't understand why other people do a lot of things (people seem to act so illogical to me for some reason, for example

Possible trigger:

I don't understand why the act of killing someone is wrong,

we kill tons of stuff every day), everything before a certain point in my life feels like a dream (everything before approximately 2 years ago, where I acted like a normal human being), and it felt like I woke up from it. I feel constantly in some sort of awakened state and I am more conscious about everything than I was before that point, and when I look back I realise I haven't actually been happy at any point in my life, I constantly remember myself hurting other people emotionally every day and hate myself for it, even though I didn't mean to hurt those people, i'm very bad at talking to other people but I really like animals, eh there's probably more but I can't think of anything else at the moment.
oh yeah and i also have delusions a lot about be being some sort of god, yeah, it sounds stupid right? Even I think so, yet I still have this delusion.

[Thunder Bow]

Comparing yourself to others is a short cut to feeling bad about yourself. Seems you are depressed. Best to talk to a doctor or therapist for a diagnosis. In this post, you seem to be fishing for reasons to feel bad about yourself. You don't have to do that.

[Man92]

what does this possible trigger thing mean?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Man92

Uhh hi, I need help in knowing if I have some sort of mental illness or not.
I don't really know what to write, but I'll try my best. Recently (the past year, possibly longer), I have felt strange, though I don't know what it is. I'll just write out a bunch of stuff that might help someone help me as I am not good with words:
I feel constantly tired, never awake, I always check myself to see if I still exist (probably sounds weird, not sure why I do it to be honest), I usually feel no emotions what-so-ever, if someone did something nice for me, I wouldn't be like a normal person and say 'wow thank you so much!', i would be more likely to just say 'thanks' in some sort of monotone way, even if its a really amazing thing. I stopped being able to cry a while ago (I used to cry every day before I went to sleep for around an hour at a time), that is when I stopped feeling proper sadness. My emotions went away one by one, now I don't care about anything, no motivation to do anything and I don't have any kind of dream. I don't and never have looked up to anyone, I don't feel love for anyone (apart from my dog, at least i think its love), if my family died i probably wouldn't care even though they treat me so well, sometimes my head feels like its being compressed by nothing, i play games online every day even though i don't even like playing games (i don't really like anything.. I can't think of anything that I would like to do), sometimes i laugh at my reflection in the mirror for no reason, i don't understand why other people do a lot of things (people seem to act so illogical to me for some reason, for example

Possible trigger:

I don't understand why the act of killing someone is wrong,

we kill tons of stuff every day), everything before a certain point in my life feels like a dream (everything before approximately 2 years ago, where I acted like a normal human being), and it felt like I woke up from it. I feel constantly in some sort of awakened state and I am more conscious about everything than I was before that point, and when I look back I realise I haven't actually been happy at any point in my life, I constantly remember myself hurting other people emotionally every day and hate myself for it, even though I didn't mean to hurt those people, i'm very bad at talking to other people but I really like animals, eh there's probably more but I can't think of anything else at the moment.
oh yeah and i also have delusions a lot about be being some sort of god, yeah, it sounds stupid right? Even I think so, yet I still have this delusion.

Im sorry but we cant make a diagnosis of your problems. all we do here is share our problems then if someone else has something in common with you they will reply back that they have the same problem, that you are not alone and what their own treatment plans and treatment providers are doing for them. only your own treatment providers or a treatment provider in your off computer location can make a diagnosis and treatment plan with\for you and your problems.

here an example of what we do here....

hi welcome to psych central. I too have times when I am tired. sometimes in me its just a matter of getting to bed at a good time rather than staying up all night, (otherwise known as sleep deprivation) other times its because I havent been eating right. (otherwise known as poor eating habits ) my lack of showing emotions is because of my having a physical health problem called MS, sometimes its because of my bipolar disorder, I love animals too. my wife and I have three dogs and a couple cats and a ferret has just joined our household temporarily. I laugh at my reflection in the mirror too. my treatment providers tell me thats perfectly normal for me to do.

Again we can not tell you what is going on with in you. only a treatment provider in your location can do that.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your medical doctor. If you can not afford it contact your local social services agency. if you are here in the USA its now the law to have private or state medical\mental health insurance. your social services agency can help you find the right health insurance that you need to get evaluated \ treated by a treatment provider.

[avlady]

I also think you are probably depressed and should be seen by a doctor, and get a therapist to talk these feelings and thoughts to. good luck

[Man92]

i don't really think i am depressed since i don't feel sadness

[tradika]

We can't DX you. See a physician.

[bluekoi]

Originally Posted by Man92

what does this possible trigger thing mean?

Hi Man92!

I have sent you a PM explaining the trigger icon and trigger code.

First Rule in Life... Take care of yourself cause if you don't no one else will....

Originally Posted by Man92

i don't really think i am depressed since i don't feel sadness

Depression doesn't always mean sadness. There are many different symptoms...tiredness, not enjoying things you once did, not really feeling much at all...

[JustJenny]

I agree, based on your writing you sound depressed. Depression can be both, a disorder on its own or a symptom of another condition. I agree with the others that you should see a mental health professional.

Did anything happen in your life that made you feel this way?

[Man92]

Originally Posted by bluekoi

Hi Man92!

I have sent you a PM explaining the trigger icon and trigger code.

thank you

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by Man92

what does this possible trigger thing mean?

It means you are looking for negative reactions from us, to re-enforce negative feelings about yourself. It is called fishing.