Having trouble to clean and order my house ...ahh!

It seems like a no brainer doesn't it? I began to collect extra stuff when my brother died. I graduated from trash to junk to selective junk. At first it was coping skill that gave me projects. Coping skill gone bad when too much of stuff and still if pile more. Thank you to those gently and consistently, forced perspective I am not a hoarder. But I have small piles of stuff in , everywhere except the bathroom. In these piles is one of everything that needs married to something else in all the other piles! I really want to three step these hurdles and celebrate at the finish line. Read books, asked friends, they don't get it exactly, I'm not hoarding again am I ?! No, I'm not, I assure them , and I'm not. I'm not taking more on, I just seem to rearrange what's left! Arg!

Are you unable to let go of these items or just overwhelmed by the big process?

Hello Cuehip: The Skeezyks would simply like to offer his best wishes. He tends to have kind-of the opposite problem I guess. Anything that doesn't appear to have some immediate use is out-the-door. Over the years I've disposed of quite a few things I now wish I had back. But that's the way it goes...

Do you have anyone in your life right now that could make you feel accountable for the state your living in?

What I getting at is maybe you need some form of coaching to get you started.

You also need a plan that works within a timeframe.

Like get x amount of stuff out of the house by Friday.

Hello Cuehip,I fear the clutter and the house getting unmanageble which it did in 2010,there was so much junk I couldn't move.I needed practical help to sort it as I was too ill for heavy lifting and had no transport.Someone did help me in the end but I had about eight bags of paper recycling which I sorted myself.I didn't like throwing things out but it had to be done.There were old exercise machines and cd players and as well as that all my clothes were a mixed up mess,different sizes from me losing weight then gaining back again.
With all the stuff and me being ill I couldn't keep up with the housework.

Now it is sorted,I can move around but I have a plastic bag full of odd bits of stuff I have to keep,with odd tablets I use occasionally and nail varnish remover, different phone covers,cough sweets and my new phone box that it came in and I get dizzy when I think of that bag.I still have too many books and CD's and the memory of 2010 sometimes makes me feel the house is in chaos again like it was back then.I keep on top of stuff now and have a regular clean out and send stuff to the charity shops.

I don't like to have too much stuff and I hate clutter but I have a lot of stuff for just me really!
It feels chaotic at times but it isn't anywhere as bad as it was,and back then it was made worst by my sister who deliberately sabotaged things in my home,she made the toilet cysten leak and took the wood out of the back of the bath so water would leak down there.She wanted me too ill and the house to be a mess so I couldn't cope and it would be too much for anyone to help me with,I didn't know people who cared you see.I threw myself in front of a car because of her and was set on killing myself which I didn't know back then she engineered this to happen because she wanted me dead and to get money from my will!

It is hard when your home gets uncontrollably cluttered,I feel for you and am sorry.I hope you get help to sort it out and once sorted that you can keep on top of it and stay clear of mess and safe!I have many physical illnesses as well as mental health illness so it is often hard to have the physical strength to do the chores and the DIY in the home.I worry about things when I can't do them myself.So far am managing but last year got a man in to cut the hedges cos physically it was too hard.I need some decorating done too but will need to go very slowly to do it myself.I am not that strong physically and never have done.It is a worry,I do manage to do the washing up,mop the floor,keep the kitchen and bathroom clean and do my laundry and ironing,in the summer I have the garden to maintain too,cutting the grass, pruning etc

I struggle but get it done I need to keep active after all!
I wish you all the best sorting your home out I hope it gets done to your liking!

Sad to say my house is a disaster. I took electronics apart the last couple winters. I earned some money from recycling wiring and and various metals but I couldn't keep up taking the remainder to the junkyard. Then depression hit and all sorts of things piled up and projects remained incomplete. I keep telling myself when I'm better I'll be able to get rid off it all. I hope that's the case. I wish you well.

Do you have one person – even a social worker or a rent-a-maid – who could come in and help you one day of the week to clean out one particular area?

I got in big trouble with a government agency a couple of weeks ago because I haven't been letting my caregiver clean the clutter (and that resulted in problems vacuuming – no filth, though. I couldn't stand that).

So now we're taking ½ room at a time, or even ½ closet, and cleaning every Friday. We're opening shipping boxes that have never been opened and this morning she started taking stuff to my apartment lobby and had people come down to see if there was anything they wanted.

I've never been a hoarder. Never could stand clutter or dust; not a clean freak but... I just had so much stuff coming in each day and I would get my caregiver to pile it up and I became overwhelmed.

I understand what you mean about having piles that need to be married to others! I found a tape recorder used to record lectures in a bag in my bedroom closet and I know that the accessories for it are in a bag in my storage closet but I can't even get into my storage closet right now.

We did my bathroom last week; which wasn't hard because all I had were magazines and old grooming accessories in it. And I even cleaning some of the clutter in my bedroom this morning. I just became relentless. I filled four of the "heavy-duty" black construction plastic bags that were hauled away. Everything from a Freud figurine to piles of hard drives, routers, old clothes, etc. I be got rid of my last superfluous television!

My advice is to stop moving things from pile to pile: if you find something that you don't need (and be brutal when you use the word need – I'm one person and there are only four eyes on my stove: I had six tea kettles and now I have one) if you can't give it away or donate it to a charity within 24 hours, then it's junk and should be thrown away.

And the piles of things that need to be married? Toss them away. I know that feeling so well... "if I could find the charging cord for this mobile phone that I haven't used in two years, it could be useful to someone." Throw it away. You have to get into a hard-headed frame of mind to do it it I can tell now, looking around my bedroom, that it's going to be wonderful to get back to that new beginning phase.

If you look at one pile that's been together for a bit, is there anything that you absolutely need in there? If you've lived without using an item for 3 months, it's probably not a necessity.

I still have a long way to go but I like the fact that we're making progress!

Good luck.

I think many people with MI go through clutter phases..I know I did. It was the depression-just no energy to sort stuff-so it piled up. Then,as many said,you always think it's something you might use...so you save it. Someone once told me-and it helped-make 4 piles: garbage,donate,might need, save. The might need pile was boxed up,if not use those items in 6 months/get rid of it-because you never missed it. Also as the piles get larger-just gets more overwhelming. Don't give up-you can go through it. Pick small goals-like clean these 2 shelves today-then do it!I found it easier break it into tiny tasks I could accomplish. Then I felt good/more energized that I did something. There is 12 step group-clutterers anonymous. Just like AA group. Good luck

my house is so small, 3 of us here too. i have trouble cleaning because of my psysical issues and mental issues too. my husband helps tremendously, cleans the big things. i take care of the little stuff. i do feel guilty if i'm having a bad day from my back problems and can't stand long enough to do the dishes.

I sit on a kitchen stool to do the dishes. Its rarely a small job.

I grew up with a hoarder (mother). I lived for two years in with a family member who was an extreme hoarder (I had to negotiate 'canyons' of stuff to get to and from my room). This experience probably triggered the OCD I have today about not having clutter. I throw everything out if I'm not going to use it immediately and everything I do keep has an assigned spot.

But, it sounds like you have not taken it to such and extreme - pat yourself on the back.

Assign yourself a week to do one room then the next week to do another, etc. Taking steps for change should be in reasonable increments. Keep yourself interested and motivated by giving yourself small awards with each step.

I had to clean up my mother's home when she was ill and it ripped my heart out to be the 'bad person' for throwing out so much of what she was keeping - like dried out markers from my childhood. She had an even harder time not having control over what I was doing.

I sorted everything according to: have you used it this year? Have you used it in the last 6 months? And, was the item identical in use to another (she had a dozen collanders)?

There was a lot of crying to be sure but afterwards she felt a lot better - almost renewed of spirit.