[lovesummer]

My daughters boyfriend (19 years old) is having a severe manic episode. She nor I have never seen or dealt with anything like it. His symptoms are textbook classic. She is not sure how to respond to his grandiose talking, does she validate what he is saying? Try and change the topic? In the wake of this episode he has lost an athletic scholarship to the college he was attending and dropped out all in the period of 48 hours. Prior to this episode she had no idea he was Bipolar and frankly neither of us know if he is formally diagnosed. Please advise on how she should respond to his grandiose talking and is she at all in danger if she were to see him in person?

[Skeezyks]

Hello lovesummer: I'm sorry you & your daughter are faced with this difficult situation. The Skeezyks doesn't have any authoritative information to share with you here. However I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

My personal perspective with regard to this is that the best approach is to simply remain neutral as much as possible. My thinking is that if your daughter tries to challenge her bf's thinking, this is only likely to make him mad. And he's unlikely to accept what she says anyway. But by the same token, if your daughter's bf is engaging in grandiose unrealistic thinking, one certainly would not want to contribute to it by validating it. I would simply recommend staying out of it to the greatest extent possible. Sure, your daughter can try to change the subject if she can. But finessing that make be a challenge. And it may not always work. I wouldn't recommend trying to force it.

And then with regard to the potential danger factor... I'm not aware of any established relationship between manic bi-polar episodes & violence. But, as you wrote, you don't even know for certain if he's been diagnosed as being bi-polar. So you don't really know for certain what's going on. And, regardless of your daughter's bf's status (in terms of whether or not he's been diagnosed), violence can-&-does occur within the general population, including bf / gf violence. So it's obviously something that has to be considered as a possibility regardless of your daughter's bf's mental health status.

So this is my thinking with regard to your post. Hopefully other members, here on PC, may yet come along & offer their (possibly more experienced) perspectives. I wish you, & your daughter, well...

Remember, college crisis centres and counselors aren't just for those in crisis. Your daughter needs support and guidance too.

I've just had to tell an aquaintances they need help. It wasn't easy. But the good news is they agreed.

I told her that I was seeing all the difficulties she was dealing with and concerned. I did not suggest she was mishandling things nor that she could be ill. She does know about my own health however. I said I found seeing my doctor helpful anytime I was overwhelmed.

I think she took the hint.

[BipolarMama31]

Can she call his parents and let them know whats happening with their son?

Also, the college should have conslers to speak with.

Make sure your daughter keeps distance/ makes safe choices. Sometimes when people are manic then become paranoid or delusional and have the potential to do dangerous things. A common example is driving recklessly.

[Crazy Hitch]

A manic person is not necessarily a danger to others but sure is a danger to themselves.

He needs professional help and meds.

[BipolarMama31]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

A manic person is not necessarily a danger to others but sure is a danger to themselves.

He needs professional help and meds.

Agree.
Manic doesnt mean she is in danger at all. But she could be. Better safe than sorry.
But he needs a professional.

As for talking to his parents it would really depend what kind of relationship she has with them.

The best option I think is to use the support system available at the school.