Emotional Manipulation? Not Sure

So a friend of mine, this guy who has been seeing/not seeing me (it's a very convoluted story) recently asked for 48 hours of no communication from me (I am really very chatty in fairness)

He got about 30. After that he told me that he didn't want anything to do with me he said and i quote

"I also don't want to have anything to do with you. You answered
some important questiions for me this weekend and I am not
interested in any kind of relationship with you. I asked for 48
hours and I got texts. I asked myself if I could see myself with
you but it's been way to frusterating and hurtful".

Literally 3 days before that he was asking me to tie him up in the bedroom.

I feel like he set a trap for me expecting me to fail and when I fell in to it he used that as an excuse to walk away from me in a hurtful way and blame me for it so that it wasn't his fault.

Am i off here? He has walked in and out of my life in various ways a few times over the last four months. Always doing enough to have me believe there is a possibility of us getting together never so much that he can be blamed for anything except leading me on and always finding an excuse to pull back.

Yes, this is manipulation.

I think this relationship is a bit toxic tbh..

It was a short-lived emotional ride. Believe him. He doesn't want to be with you. You must have been too smothering and needy and it scared him. I'm sure he is guilty for playing his part. I'm sorry this ended badly.

Well, there is a lesson to be learned in this experience for "you". Always keep in mind that whenever in a relationship with others, it's a learning experience and you have to find your way to recognizing the part you played in the relationship that may have affected how someone reacted to you.

What this individual was testing is how well you can respect his boundaries. He asked you to leave him alone for 48 hours, and you did not listen right? You said he got 30 hours which to him meant you did not want to hear him or give him space, but instead you called the amount of time.

Unfortunately, we are a lot more accessable now in that we have technology that makes us more accessable. Do people abuse that? YES!! Because what so many end up doing now is "texting" and they also tend to "post" issues on Facebook too. The problem with our technology is that it trains us to be impatient, intrude, and become entitled without realizing it. What you showed this individual is that you were not willing to leave him alone for 48 hours and you probably just had to give into texting him even when he asked you not to.

I don't know what he wanted when he asked you to tie him up in his room, perhaps he also wanted to see how you were willing to give into doing that too. What you were telling him is that you simply don't understand boundaries and you don't even have your own because you WILL tie him up. You are led too easily and you need to step back from this experience and think about what you learned and what "you" can take away from this experience that can be helpful to "you".

Asking for 48 hours break in a relationship?! This is alone enough to know he is no serious. Set high standard to yourself, and if he fails to measure, then he fails.

If it smells like control and looks like control then it is. Move on. You don't deserve that garbage.

Okay but if i add that i repeatedly asked for one hour of his time and was refused every time? He has refused to respect my needs so how can he justifiably be upset at me for doing the same thing?

Okay but if i add that i repeatedly asked for one hour of his time and was refused every time? He has refused to respect my needs so how can he justifiably be upset at me for doing the same thing?

If you were having to plead for one hour of his time, and this whole fight happened, the dynamic of the two of you wasn't a good match. It was a short-lived affair that blew up in your faces.

You can try to sort out why and learn from it. Why were you needing to plead for his time?

Your initial question was about emotional manipulation. From the little that you shared it's hard to give a fair assessment of this individual.

Now, you are saying that you repeatedly asked for an hour of his time. Was that during the time that he asked you to leave him alone for 48 hours? I am trying to help you step back and really examine the entire scenario and also see what part "you" played in it. Often what can happen is that a relationship breaks apart and a person doesn't really step back and examine what took place so they can "learn" from it.

Sometimes a woman will expect too much and be too needy not realizing that the male is getting frustrated, however this can develop in either partner. This can happen in any relationship where one individual begins to develop an increasing habit of constant texting and demanding of attention. I have noticed this has been an increasing problem with how individuals are more accessable then ever before where they have grown more and more attached to their phones and become too addicted to texting a partner or friend at every whim. I can honestly see how someone could begin to get frustrated and request "Leave me alone for 48 hours" and then get very angry when the other person simply doesn't.

My suggestion is that you step back and really examine what you may have done in this relationship that could have contributed to this other individual's request for space and anger that you did not agree to give that space. It could be this individual began to feel that you were too emotionally needy.

I think his request for you to tie him up in his room was weird, however, he could have done that as a test to see how you would react and if you gave in to doing that it could have shown him that you can get weird if he asked you to. It's a strange test, yet, I think in order to understand what that "really" meant you would have to be VERY willing to step back and think about the relationship and ask yourself "how much did I depend and intrude and need of him?". You admitted that you are "very chatty", well, that might be something that you need to pay better attention to.

I could tell you "this person is bad" and allow you to believe the problem is the other person. But, if you did unknowingly contribute to this breakup, it's only fair that you "learn" to see your part so you don't end up getting "hurt" by another individual.

There is a person I know that has gotten hurt a lot, and then began to self blame. The problem is this person kept picking out the same kind of partner that failed her everytime. That is why it's so important to step back and be willing to really examine what might be something one unknowingly repeats that can consistently conclude with them being "hurt".