[Ena khan]

I was very small when it happened
Maybe 7 or 8
He was my neighbour, probably 16 and his sister used to tutor me (i don't recall her age but lets say she was 20)
Their family was called the Nepalis in the neighbourhood (because they were from Nepal)
And as much i can recall they were not a really you know peacefull kind of family
(I once overheard 1 sister shouting profanities to the other which were so crude they scared my younger self)
Anyways they had these small cute puppies and i absolutely loved them
I visited their home quite often because of my tutions and well puppies
So one day i went there and found the youngest brother was the only one at home
No problem, i just waved like always and went to pet the puppies
Then he came over and was like 'you are my guest and i can't leave a guest unattended'
'Let me show you how we care for our guests here'
'You just haven't seen our mahman navaji (i don't have a English word for this but its basically caring for the guest)
(In India guests are considered equal to the God)
So i was like ok show
So he took me to the living room
Then first he stripped waist down and the proceeded to take off my skirt and panties
All this happen so fast that i was unable to stop it or shout or really understand what was actually happening
Then don't now from where his elder sister miraculously entered the scence and i don't recall the exact details but i am pretty sure she stopped him before he was able to strip me complety
What i remember is coming out of the house adjusting my skirt and thinking if everyone knows
If that shopkeeper knows or do my other neighbour know?
Can they tell?
Would my family know when they see me?
At the time i didn't now what happened
I pretty much forgot about what happened but i avoided the house like plauge and it was a pretty much a subconscious decision
I don't remember any interaction with him or seeing him again except when one day when i was hanging out at my dad's clinic and came to get his fractured arm fixed
I don't remember feeling anything other than slight discomfort and panic and he acted like nothing has ever happened
Some years after that they moved out but i don't remember any further interactions or even seeing him in the neighbourhood before they did
I don't think this event had any effect on my personality or psychology
I mean i can't even recall the event properly
I didn't get chills when i think about it or consider as something really you know affecting
I basically don't have any feelings on the matter
I mean i was really small and well nothing happened
Do you consider this as abuse?

[MickeyCheeky]

Well, I think it's still a traumatic experience, even if he didn't actually abused you in the end. So yeah..

I also think a trigger warning is needed.

[Thunder Bow]

That was abuse.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Ena khan

I was very small when it happened
Maybe 7 or 8
He was my neighbour, probably 16 and his sister used to tutor me (i don't recall her age but lets say she was 20)
Their family was called the Nepalis in the neighbourhood (because they were from Nepal)
And as much i can recall they were not a really you know peacefull kind of family
(I once overheard 1 sister shouting profanities to the other which were so crude they scared my younger self)
Anyways they had these small cute puppies and i absolutely loved them
I visited their home quite often because of my tutions and well puppies
So one day i went there and found the youngest brother was the only one at home
No problem, i just waved like always and went to pet the puppies
Then he came over and was like 'you are my guest and i can't leave a guest unattended'
'Let me show you how we care for our guests here'
'You just haven't seen our mahman navaji (i don't have a English word for this but its basically caring for the guest)
(In India guests are considered equal to the God)
So i was like ok show
So he took me to the living room
Then first he stripped waist down and the proceeded to take off my skirt and panties
All this happen so fast that i was unable to stop it or shout or really understand what was actually happening
Then don't now from where his elder sister miraculously entered the scence and i don't recall the exact details but i am pretty sure she stopped him before he was able to strip me complety
What i remember is coming out of the house adjusting my skirt and thinking if everyone knows
If that shopkeeper knows or do my other neighbour know?
Can they tell?
Would my family know when they see me?
At the time i didn't now what happened
I pretty much forgot about what happened but i avoided the house like plauge and it was a pretty much a subconscious decision
I don't remember any interaction with him or seeing him again except when one day when i was hanging out at my dad's clinic and came to get his fractured arm fixed
I don't remember feeling anything other than slight discomfort and panic and he acted like nothing has ever happened
Some years after that they moved out but i don't remember any further interactions or even seeing him in the neighbourhood before they did
I don't think this event had any effect on my personality or psychology
I mean i can't even recall the event properly
I didn't get chills when i think about it or consider as something really you know affecting
I basically don't have any feelings on the matter
I mean i was really small and well nothing happened
Do you consider this as abuse?

one thing about posting this kind of question anywhere online is that there are millions of people from all different countries, towns, locations each with their own rules/ guidelines and laws that state what is and is not abuse in their own locations.

your location is india (what you have put in your profile location slot) here in the USA many things go into deciding whether this situation would be abuse or not... the ages of the children, whether the children were roll playing/ playing pretend like playing doctor, house, dress up, show me yours and Ill show you mine, and other child explorations of each other games, whether there was force involved, whether either of the children said the word no ... so many things go into diagnosing whether two children or teens under the age of 18 abused one or the other or each other.

many countries outside the USA have a system of no matter the age a male (child or adult) are always to be obeyed by the female (children and adults) (this is called gender inequality)

here in the USA we do not have this kind of system so a female child is with in their rights to say no to any male who is doing something that they do not want to do in this kind of situation.

since you are in India you would have to contact those in your location that knows about the laws and child protection services type agency or your own or a mental health treatment provider in your own town/city, they will be able to tell you whether this was normal or abuse.

[Ena khan]

Thanks amadabut What i meant to ask is that would it be abuse if i think i don't feel anything on the subject?
If i think it isn't traumatic?
Most of the time i don't even know if its real or a figment of my imagination
I know that it would've called abuse here in india but i want to know that if its not affecting me on personal level, would it be called abuse?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Ena khan

Thanks amadabut What i meant to ask is that would it be abuse if i think i don't feel anything on the subject?
If i think it isn't traumatic?
Most of the time i don't even know if its real or a figment of my imagination
I know that it would've called abuse here in india but i want to know that if its not affecting me on personal level, would it be called abuse?

again no one other than those who knows the laws in your location can say whether what happened to you was abuse or not. you see laws on abuse are not made on how a person "feels" that their situation was abuse or not.

feelings dont say whether someone was abused or not.

example I could feel like a neighbor is abusive to me but that doesnt make it so. I can also feel like a neighbor is not abusive to me but that doesnt make it not abuse... why because my location laws are not based on if I ......feel ......like I was abused I was or not.

the way something is defined abusive or not is based on each locations ownl laws and definitions.

my suggestion is if you want to know whether something is called abuse even though you may feel it was or wasnt contact a mental health treatment provider in your location. they will be able to answer your feelings type questions based on what is and isnt abuse in your location.

[nicoleflynn]

Yes, that abuse; you may have blocked some of it out and feel it doesn't affect you;it did/does.

[Ena khan]

Thanks amada