ethical question

My husband was court ordered to take 12hrs individual alcohol therapy. He chose to seek treatment from a therapist (MSW) who facilitates his group therapy. He agreed to 6 2 hour sessions once a week.

My question is:
He has completed 5 of the 6 required sessions. Each session was scheduled for 6-8pm he has not been out of these sessions for 30-45 min after 8pm each time. His sessions consist of Reiki, massage, yoga, tarot card reading and meditation. He has admitted that he has yet to open "the feeling jar" his words. He has told me that he will continue with these sessions past the mandatory time. I just also found out that he has stopped by the office for short sessions and he and the therapist have been texting each other excessively on a daily basis as early as 6am and as late as 10:20pm on a Sunday. She has given him meditation beads, medicine bags, moonstones all as gifts, and went as far as to order him a specialty tea from India. My husband was just recently diagnosed with Bells Palsy and she has convinced him it isn't a medical issue, that he is suffering from a "Chakra event". I am concerned that this is crossing an ethics line with all the "off time" texting.
I am so worried about him!
Thank you

many therapists now days do text their clients off hours. Many therapists do give their clients therapeutic tools and resources to handle their problems. bells palsy is becoming less and less a huge medical problem as doctors gather new research and evidence. for example did you know that someone who has a tooth pulled can suffer the problems associated with bells palsy, someone who falls down and injures their neck of face muscles if their head gets jarred or hit against something can suffer bells palsy. now days bells palsy is just the name that describes a sudden weakness in the facial muscles that cause a persons face features to appear droopy and stroke like. and is better in just a matter or weeks. its not long term, I have had it due to dental work. my wife had it for a time due to a stiff neck and the nerves in her face were also affected... my point is the bells palsy is not a permanent high risk and total debilitating medical condition. its a short term problem that accompanies other medical or dental conditions. some people with mental problems can cause their self to have this problem too. the technical/ psychological term for a person who due to having mental problems have physical problems is called conversion disorder or in american words its called somatic disorder. this is treated with stress reduction techniques, medication and such depending upon the root problem that the physical health problem is there representing.

chaka in in easy to understand words is when a person has control over their body, its the belief of the mind affects the body. its considered the spiritual center of a persons mind \ body connection... you know how christians believe in a god and others believe in others believe in other higher powers, and they receive calming affects from their praying and other religious practices. well in some therapy techniques such as mindfulness, and such people can receive calming affects by knowing that thoughts can affect their body's and how to control that.

(challenge take a moment and think about something sad, notice how your body reacts, now think about something good and notice how your mood and body reacts)

well learning how to control that "chaka" spiritual (moods and beliefs in higher powers) mind body connection actually helps bells palsy because it relaxes the body (with bells palsy the more you tighten up your muscles the harder the symptoms are)

since this is court ordered treatment and you may not know all the elements that your husband and the therapist must meet for the court standards and you are not a part of the sessions with the therapist, you dont know how and why these treatments are there, my suggestion is to let your grown adult husband deal with his therapy issues or ask him if you can also be in therapy with him at his sessions. my other suggestion is that most spouses of alcohol treatment usually enter treatment their self. change is hard and sometimes in alcohol situaitons there is whats called an enabler, an enabler is the wife and children that unknowingly or purposely help the alcoholic or person who was caught drinking to hide the problem, cleans up the messes and does everything they can to make sure to not set off the person who is donig the drinking. anyway when an enabler discovers their loved one is changing / healing it can be a bit bothersome, scary so many people of loved ones who drink get therapy for their self too. not saying you are in this position of being the enabler just saying thats a situation that sometimes happens when there is a drinker in the family. my suggestion is if your husbands treatment for his alcohol problem is causing you problems, maybe you can join him in therapy so you understand what they are doing in therapy or get therapy for yourself to help you better understand what and why his therapist may be doing things the way they are and help you to not be so stressed out during this process.

I'll just make my response short. Alcoholism effects the entire family and we all have been treated. What I am asking is...is this kind of friendship with your therapist ok? Because to be frank if my therapist texted me about their "Lish" dinner and then goodnight at 10pm on a Sunday, I would be searching for another provider. I also know what Bells Palsy is, how it can be triggered and what the treatments are. Thank you for your time and input. I appreciate it.

Hi kconnley, Well, first off...it sounds to me like you might benefit from being honest with yourself. I'm sure you are worried about your husband, but really, you are (it seems to me) worried about yourself and your marriage.

That is totally understandable.

I'm not sure the answer you're seeking is something we on PC can give you. I mean, we can speculate. But really, you need to discuss the situation with your husband. Get his input. Have you mentioned your feelings and concerns to him?

for some locations and treatment providers yes this is perfectly fine and for others it isnt...

for example there have been times when in therapy my treatment provider and I discussed meal planning and that at that moment doing self injury and other negative behaviors were at its highest right before bed. my treatment provider did text me what he had for dinner, because I had asked him to during our session and gave me a good night text because I asked him to during our sessions.

my wife too was a bit un. nerved by this because she was not in my therapy session so did not understand what context this was being done. she didnt think we were having an affair or anything like that because she knew my sexual orientation was same sex / lesbian, but it still bothered her because she didnt know the context in how this came about. my wife trusted me so she mentioned her fears then let it drop because she trusted me.

basically having a spouse in therapy it takes trusting the loved one is doing whats best and if they feel its not an ethical relationship then its their job to say hey I dont want you sending me texts any more after hours.

line in the sand is that this is his therapy relationship with his therapist so he is the only one that can say whether this is ethical or not based on what ...he....is going through. it would be different if you were also part of his therapy sessions and he gave you permission to question his and his therapists relationship but there is a way if you choose to proceed with this for your own fears and such...

to find out if this is ok in your own location and based on your own locations ethics laws you would need to contact the mental health agency that over sees your locations treatment providers, licensing and such.

It is possible something is going on outside of therapy, with all that texting. Tell him your concerns without sounding accusing. Also shop around for a clinical therapist. There is a hint of control in this situation. Possible line crossing is possible here.

I've made my feelings known about contact outside of sessions before. This only affirms my belief it can lead to transference and even further. On this occasion it seems something is going on. If they are spending all this time texting then when is she available to do so with other clients?

You are right too in finding all these gifts disconcerting. I've had a psychiatrist give to me a worry stone. She bought me a coffee when she was getting me out in a public situation as part of therapy. That was the extent of it. I think more would have been inappropriate and goes beyond a professional relationship to something else.

I would actually suggest that you attend a session too.

I'm more concerned about you. have you been to therapist about your co- dependency.I had also been court ordered to out patient counseling and AA it wasn't until I chose myself I was a alcoholic but i failed until later in 1993 and have not drank, so make sure to take care of u first I wouldn't worry too much about him she just wants money

Ok, I admit I'm predisposed to see things in a suspicious light. But I think there's something strange going on here. Off hours texting does happen between client and practitioner but it usually involves answering questions about therapy, reinforcing coping skills, stuff that's relayed to therapy. Not dinner and goodnights. The therapist is blurring the lines between a helping therapeutic relationship and a social one. Not a healthy thing to do for either client or therapist but especially not the client who may be psychologically vulnerable.

I'm also a little stunned to learn that tarot card reading is part of court ordered treatment for alcoholism. Not that there's anything wrong with tarot card readings if that's your thing--just that I don't see it has much relevance for alcoholism treatment and I doubt very much if that's what the judge had in mind.
But whether or not I think something strange is going on here, kconnley, YOU clearly think something not quite right is going on. As hard as it is, you need to discuss this with your husband. It could be that he's had a spiritual awakening of some sort and this therapist is the catalyst. it could be something else. But you won't know if you don't ask him.
Even though part of you may not want to know the answer, which may be why you asked us and not him.

Hi,
This is not realistic treatment for alcohol abuse. It is more like a treatment designed to earn some money for the therapist.
As a sufferer from bells palsy, I can definitely tell you that it is a medical condition caused by a damaged nerve that controls facial muscles, mostly caused by exposure to draughts.
It is unpleasant in the early stages but later other nerves take over the control and and the symptoms lessen.
I can't believe that a court would order such treatment. Were you in court to support your husband?
Chacra is a Psychological condition that works by believing in the "idea" It only works where the patient feels inferior to the therapist.
It does not work to improve a medical condition.

...how does tarot card reading help an alcoholic get better?

tarrot card reading is not a court mandated treatment. that said there are many different religions here in america. if a person in therapy is a person who practices or is interested in wicca religion and life style then yes it can be part of that persons therapy. just like if a christian wants to do bible reading in their therapy sessions and if a person of islamic religion wants to study the Koran as part of their alcohol treatment can do so.

I know someone who does receive stress and anxiety relief though their tarrot card readings.

the bottom line is each person has their own ways that work for them in combating those urges to self injure even if the negative behavior is drinking or doing drugs. and each person has their own things that help them over those cravings when they hit. its not up to me or anyone else in america to say one persons therapy sessions are right or wrong. I can say its not right for me but who knows if this person is using tarrot card readings to help their self over the urges/ cravings to drink thats all that really matters...

I mean I certainly would not want someone who doesnt like rowing canoes, or spelling apples and cinimon to tell me that my therapist and I cant go out on the lake rowing or that my therapist and I cant light candles during my sessions or read the bible or do a wiccan prayer, wiccan religious practice during my own therapy sessions.

the only person that can say whether there is something wrong in anyones therapy sessions is the one going to therapy and that therapists supervisors and that therapists ethics board. those of us online here its easy for us to say hey hes having an affair or no shes abusing him that therapist is breaking laws and all that stuff but the reality is we are not that treatment providers cleint, we are not that treatment provider and we are not witnessing the sessions. we only get to read what is posted and can only go according to what we would want for our own therapy sessions.

for me tarrot card reading has never been apart of my sessions but there are many things my treatment provider and I do that is not a CBT, DBT or other therapy technique but it works for me and my treatment provider and thats what matters.