Do I have issues with food?

I was borderline anorexic when I was a teen. Then I got on psych meds and in 8.5 years gained 136. I got off those meds and I started dropping weight like crazy. I need to lose 16 more pounds to be a normal weight. I started I guess resorting to old habits. Instead of eating everything in site, I am restricting to 1200 calories a day. I feel guilty when I eat stuff. I just almost finished a bowl of spaghetti and when I got to the meatballs, I just felt so guilty I put the bowl down and now I don't want to finish it. I just think of eating meatballs when I was fat. I was eating them so fast. I'm so scared of being fat again. The only one I talk to about this is my therapist. She said that I don't have a problem yet, but that I am heading towards one. I hide it from my mom. I think she has her suspicions though. I'm wondering if gaining all that weight messed me up mentally. I categorize things into two groups. Before I gained the weight and after. What should I do? I kind of mentioned it to my physcian. I said I sometimes have trouble eating, and her response was "good. She's just so oblivious. She prescribes my sesonale and I'm worried another doctor won't. What if I need to go to an eating disorder unit in a hospital? I'm pretty sure my insurance won't cover the only one I can think of. I'm really worried.

I have had issues with food myself. When depressed I tend to eat a great deal - and the food tends to be the high carbohydrates my body craves. Presently I have a problem which is two fold. I eat out of boredom. And the food that I have eaten of late is far from healthy. I've had some unplanned for expenses the last several months which has cut into my food budget. Instead of fresh fruits and vegetables I have been eating a lot of sandwiches and pasta. The bread and pasta has caught up with me and these past weeks I have put on noticeable weight. I can only hope that these unplanned expenditures come fewer and further between.