[Mountaindewed]

There is this girl I see around, she's like 3 or 4 years older then me, but looks younger. She's very skinny, and has an anxious look on her face all the time. I am interested in her. I am not a lesbian, I'm more assexual then anything else. I just feel like we have a lot in common with our anxiety. Im scared to talk to her, because I know her anxiety is very bad. I don't want to trigger her.

I just kind of want to look like her. I want to lose more weight, and cut my hair short. I also bought a pair of Under Armour sweatpants.

Do I kind of want to be like her? I have my own personality, and I am happy with my life, I just don't always like the way I look physically. I am focused on losing weight, and I had planned on cutting my hair short anyways after losing the last 30 pounds, so maybe I'm just focused on my own physical appearance?

I'm just really confused.

[mctone]

Originally Posted by Bozdickens

There is this girl I see around, she's like 3 or 4 years older then me, but looks younger. She's very skinny, and has an anxious look on her face all the time. I am interested in her. I am not a lesbian, I'm more assexual then anything else. I just feel like we have a lot in common with our anxiety. Im scared to talk to her, because I know her anxiety is very bad. I don't want to trigger her.

I just kind of want to look like her. I want to lose more weight, and cut my hair short. I also bought a pair of Under Armour sweatpants.

Do I kind of want to be like her? I have my own personality, and I am happy with my life, I just don't always like the way I look physically. I am focused on losing weight, and I had planned on cutting my hair short anyways after losing the last 30 pounds, so maybe I'm just focused on my own physical appearance?

I'm just really confused.

Hey Bozdickens, I can relate to the way you feel, I've always felt very awkward in social situations, and have had a hard time trying to find a way to approach someone that I thought I might could have some kind of connection with. I used to want to be more like people that I liked, or people I thought looked the way I wanted to look. I've always been a little "chubby" even when I was in the best shape of my life - in high school. I lifted weights every day, took karate, and ran a little, but I still felt like I looked bad... I've gotten past that to some extent now, but I'm still self-conscience of how I look.

My feeling about you wanting to talk to her, but being afraid to is this - I feel like it would probably make her feel nice to know that someone noticed her, just because she's "herself". Just approach her 'gently', and I think you'll be fine. I can't speak for her, but I can tell you that whenever someone reaches out to me, it really makes me feel nice inside.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best. If you ever want to talk more, just send me a message.

[*Laurie*]

I don't think there's anything creepy about what you've posted. The girl you know has inspired you to look a certain way...it's not really any different than seeing someone on TV or in a magazine and saying, "I want to look like that."

[MickeyCheeky]

If you want to look like her, there's nothing wrong with that.. why do you want to talk with her, though? Potential friendship?

[Mountaindewed]

I am autistic and it's difficult for me to start conversations. I don't know how. These people invited me to sit with them today, and I moved over to sit with them, but I had no idea what to say, so I just sat there. This girl is the same way. I don't necessarily want to be friends with her, I just want to talk to her. I just feel like it would be triggering for her if I talked to her.

[lizardlady]

How about starting off small, just smile at her and say hello.

[Mountaindewed]

I saw her for the first time today since I posted this question. I think we both freaked each other out. I saw a car coming when I was trying to cross the parking lot, and I get nervous when I'm trying to cross the street when a car is also trying to move. I kind of froze, and the car sort of sped off. I didn't realize it was her until she was further down the parking lot I saw her walk in. She had this really uneasy look on her face. Kind of like she was going to throw up. I don't think my face looked much better. I think we have a lot in common, but what we have in common, makes it kind of difficult for us to talk to each other.

Thanks for the replies.

[Sunflower123]

I've been inspired before by other people to make changes to my appearance. Nothing creepy about that at all. I've even complimented people on their haircut before and asked where they got it done.

Like a previous poster said you could just smile and say hello or tell her you like her haircut and ask where she got it done. That would be a small way to break the ice and move forward. Who knows...it might be easier once you start.

Good luck and best wishes.