[Concerneddaddy]

Hello, so my ex girlfriend and i have a 2 and half year old little girl. We have been through a bitter custody battle . Long story short. I recently gained 5 hour visits on weds. Which before that was 2 hours on sunday. My daughter mainly lives with her mom and 11 other relatives who dont care for me. My daughter has a counselor who says my daughter is suffering from some kind of trauma. And when my name is mentioned, my daughter refuses to talk with the counselor about me. When my daughter is with me she says she doesnt want to return to her moms. I could really use some advise on how to help my little one. I do think with being a presence 5 hours a week. That my exes family isolates her from me and talks about me in a negative way. All feedback is welcome

[MickeyCheeky]

Not sure I've completely understood what do you mean but from what I can gather, I think what you're saying about her being isolated from you is a likely possibility.. I'm sorry Do you have a lawyer you can talk to about this? You have a right to see your child..

Hello Concerneddaddy, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

[Sunflower123]

Since you have a counselor for your daughter maybe they can gently keep chipping away at what is going on. You could also gently chip away, in a casual way, why she doesn't want to go back to her mom's. It sounds like something is troubling her that she doesn't want to talk about. Good luck and best wishes.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Concerneddaddy

Hello, so my ex girlfriend and i have a 2 and half year old little girl. We have been through a bitter custody battle . Long story short. I recently gained 5 hour visits on weds. Which before that was 2 hours on sunday. My daughter mainly lives with her mom and 11 other relatives who dont care for me. My daughter has a counselor who says my daughter is suffering from some kind of trauma. And when my name is mentioned, my daughter refuses to talk with the counselor about me. When my daughter is with me she says she doesnt want to return to her moms. I could really use some advise on how to help my little one. I do think with being a presence 5 hours a week. That my exes family isolates her from me and talks about me in a negative way. All feedback is welcome

take this out of being your daughter and situation for a moment...

you have a boss and then suddenly you are told you have a second boss. and the second boss wants you to talk about the first boss. you still have to work with the first boss, how does it feel to you to have someone ask you questions about the first boss... kind of strange right, and if you say something it may make you feel kind of guilty, kind of like you dont want to get one in trouble with the other, .... all kinds of feelings right...

well thats the situation your daughter is in. your daughter loves both parents, lives with one and sees the other and being asked to talk about the one she doesnt get to see much of...

now add into the elements of the case.... given how you have wrote up your post Im assuming here that it was court given or childrens services ordered 2 hour visitation and now the court / children services has awarded you 5 hours visitation. reason my mind is assuming this is because you stated its a bitter custody battle,. when its a custody battle courts are involved, children are given their own lawyers and children services also watch over the childs best interests. now there are many many reasons why a court and childrens services would give only 2 hours visitation during and after a bitter custody battle. what ever that reason is can also affect your child,

you posted your childs therapist says the child has trauma, that trauma is what ever the child saw, heard, experienced and emotionally felt before, during and after this bitter custody battle and what ever reason you were only awarded 2 hour visitation. yes things on your side of the case may now be up to standards where everyone is sure you can have 5 hours visitation with your child, but still has all this emotional baggage to deal with concerning before, during and after this bitter custody battle.

my point its no surprise that your daughter dpesnt want to talk about you and how they feel about you. its actually pretty normal for children not to want to bad mouth or talk abut one or the other parent.

as for the not wanting to go back to moms while visiting you. again thats normal child being a child, even children not in cases like yours prefer staying where they are once they get somewhere. my own children want to say at their friends homes when they go visit there, when they go visit grandparents they dont want to come home, when they go visit other relatives they dont want to come home, even just going to the playground some days is a parents nightmare of children not wanting to come home. its just part of a childs perception, take it as a compliment that your child likes being with you at that moment. and maybe talk with the childs therapist as to whether the child gives the other parent the same hassle of not wanting to leave moms to go to dads, you will most likely find that mom has the same problem and that its normal childhood behavior. challenge think back to when you were a child.... were there good times where you just didnt want to go home yet....I know in my life there were lots of times when I did not want to go home and my parents home was safe, it wasnt my parents that abused me.

talk with your childs therapist, they will help you in your parenting problems including these.