[annoyedgrunt84]

I know I need to change things in my life, but I'm resisting it, or more like just passively letting time slip away. I've been living back in my hometown for about three and a half years now and am tired of it. It's tiny, narrow minded, and confining. I don't have all the independence I want, I live at my parents house they are gone for several weeks at a time often because they are retired and my Dad built a place in the mountains of New Mexico. They come back usually only for a few days, maybe a week or two then are gone again for two or three weeks, maybe even longer. But when they are here I feel cooped up. I also can't really have the house the way I want it. You'll probably think it's stupid, but I have a personal library of over 1,000 books. I want them all up on shelves so I can find one when I need/want it, and because I like the look of a house full of books. So I want to move out. The way I see it I have three options 1) get an apartment, 2) buy a small house of my own 3) build a tiny house or at least small house. If I get an apartment I'm concerned that I'm throwing money away renting. The last two options make me feel tied down, other than the fact that maybe a tiny house could be put on a trailer of some sort or made so that it could be disassembled and then reassembled fairly easily. Which segues into the nuclear option if you will. I hate the thought that this place (my hometown) is the last place I will ever live. It literally scares me. So I want to move away, maybe to someplace urban, maybe even to a big city, like New York or Chicago. But what if I get tired of that after a year or two? Or, what if I fail at my job there? Maybe the thought of having roots someplace actually triggers my anxiety. I guess what I'm asking is has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there anything in this that anyone else can relate too? Also why am I resisting picking an option and just rolling with it? Why do I resist taking action in my life?

[MickeyCheeky]

I feel the same way, actually I don't really know why, no one has ever been able to explain it to me (let alone help me). Perhaps we're just afraid that things will get worse than they are now, in one way or another. Anxiety might also have something to do with it. I don't know if you have depression, but some depressed people don't really have the energy to make big changes.. in a "what's the point?" kind of way.

Sorry you're struggling

[eyesclosed]

I think your in a good position. I don't know if you have income now and are paying rent or your debt situation. You can save a lot of money in your situation. You may have to put up with being cooped up. Your actually a asset to your parents because when they are gone you take care of there house. Depending on the housing market where you will move too, you could have a big down payment on a house and interest rates are low. This would lower your payments a lot. This is a good opportunity.

[annoyedgrunt84]

I didn't sleep a wink tonight which is exactly how my breakdown 5 years ago started.

[Sunflower123]

Yes, I live with my mom and feel cooped up. You are very fortunate that your parents are gone for weeks at a time. It's like having your own house. To get rid of that tiny town feeling, you could travel the world when your parents are home. That kills two birds with one stone. Alternately, you could buy a small house in a town you choose and display your books (I have 1,750 on my kindle btw). The third alternative is a tiny house. Have you seen those tiny homes that are on trailers you haul yourself or that have wheels? You could live from place to place but couldn't display your books. Each alternative has pros and cons. Good luck with your decision. They all sound exciting. Best wishes.

[annoyedgrunt84]

They've been home for a few days now, which is what has triggered this I know. I wanted to take a little trip as soon as they showed up, but I felt bad about it, like they would think I didn't want to see them again. They are after all nearly in their 70s.