[Loose Screw x 2]

What if you had a serious physical condition that you were required to stay on top of and manage nearly all of the time? What if you had doctors and family pressuring you to stick with it without fail and what if you also had a slew of mental and emotional problems that tormented you on a daily basis?
What if your mental health issues were so, intense that you felt like peace of mind was more important then how long you lived?

I went to see my diabetes/health advisor today and found that I have put back on 8 pounds after having lost 15. She told me to cut out soda drinks totally and completely and to drink very little fruit and even vegetable juice and to drink lots of water. She also wants me to exercise.
The only exercising I care for are walks in parks and woods when it is warm because I despise cold weather. Drinking juice and having good tasting sodas and other flavored drinks help me to feel better and stay grounded as my true self or host self and even though I do eat and drink some healthy foods, I need stuff that lifts my spirits and helps to drag me out of bad moods or states so, that life feels like something that is not entirely all about suffering. I NEED anything that I can get that makes me WANT to stay alive! The pressure is just too much. I can't do it. If I don't get some therapy within the next few days then, I'm worried that I may harm myself in some way. This is not a threat that I'll hurt myself. It's just me worrying openly. If I can't have some moments of happiness a few times a day then, what is the point? Just something to take my mind off of what it's like to be me. That's all that I want. Just a little peace.

[Skeezyks]

I send hugs with the hope that, in some way, you will be able to find the inner peace you seek.

[it'sgrowtime]

For the sugar issue...Maybe you can find alternative satisfaction? Could you try herbal teas that taste good, in lieu of sodas? I was eating desserts all the time to get a boost, but I switched to hot tea at night, and gum or sugar free hard candy during the day. I ordered a big container of xylitol chiclet type gum off of amazon. It cost $14 and it took months for me to chew it all.

I’m sorry you are struggling emotionally/mentally right now.

How many of us immediately thought medication Vs weight gain?

My own predicament is that my psychiatric medication has caused significant weight gain. It has too been the cause of physical health issues too. The thought that 'gee, if I stopped taking my medication...' is constant. But I have concluded that is not a choice at all when considering how instability would affect and ruin my life more significantly than my health and weight issues by comparison.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Thanks for the hug, Skeezyks and everyone for the words of comfort and advice.

[benzenering]

After 10 plus years on the psych med bandwagon, I have chosen my physical health over my mental health. As long as I keep busy (I work a lot) I don't have time to dwell on my mental health. I ditched the meds.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Originally Posted by benzenering

After 10 plus years on the psych med bandwagon, I have chosen my physical health over my mental health. As long as I keep busy (I work a lot) I don't have time to dwell on my mental health. I ditched the meds.

If only I could but, my mental conditions seem to get worse with age. I once tried to go off of my Prozac with intentions of trying to use herbs instead and had a horrible anxiety attack that lead to a break down and had to go to the emergency room psyche ward and was in such psychological agony that I was literally moaning in anguish. It was a very harrowing experience and I was very close to loosing it completely. The curse of the chemical imbalance.

I had a similar debate when I gained 50lbs on meds. I became over weight for the first time in my life. I pole dance for fun and struggled massively with the added weight. I was pretty frustrated. In the end I had to choose my mental health. Without meds I dealt with severe suicidal depression. I would not have lived. I chose life.

Luckily I changed meds, kept pole dancing and lost a lot of weight. But I know its not an easy choice.

Can you possibly replace sugary foods with something else that makes you feel good? Listen to music or watch a show or chat with a friend?

[Travelinglady]

I can't give up my soft drinks, so I drink diet ones! I would think there's a bit of a middle ground...

Exercise, even walking, is good. For mental and physical health.

Food is a comfort for me, too, I have to say--and I also need to lose weight.