Anxiety Socializing Before My Most New Intake

I have my first intake appointment scheduled for the last week of April. I need this intake in order to receive a psych eval, which I have to schedule at another time. This is part of a sliding scale program. Anyway, I had an intake last month with a therapist that couldn't help me. That intake was emotionally draining.

As my new intake approaches, I find myself anxious at the thought of socializing with people. I have a birthday party and a friend reunion coming up in the next few weeks. It makes me feel uncomfortable to go to either. My mother has suggested bring my nephews and nieces over to visit with me while she goes to church, and I completely resisted. I feel like being home alone affords me some comfort and safety. And if they come over I feel like I can't deal.

I've had these issues on and off for as long as I can remember, but this feels different.

There's this voice that tells me to wait until I get through my intake, get a treatment plan going, and give myself some time. I feel like I'm protecting myself from something and I don't know what.

Anyone experience something like this?

Must you socialise? Consider for yourself the degree to which you are capable of doing so. While I encourage you to give socialising a good try I am aware that this is something that can only be done on one's own terms. Your task then is to recognise and acknowledge these terms. This may mean resisting what those around you - as helpful as they are trying to be - are trying to force you into.

On my own terms, I hadn't thought about it that way. I think right now my main priority is to make a consistent effort to seek therapy (which I have failed to do in the past) and my energy is all geared towards preparing myself for that challenge. Socializing right now seems like an obligation and I'd rather focus that energy on myself, at least for this month.

At least one friend I get to see her weekly, mostly because she is paying me lol but we were friends before that. We get to share our MH progress and that's so necessary for me, but I think that's all I can tolerate right now.

I also think because my friends still smoke pot and drink, while I've been sober for several months, I don't feel like dealing with that right now.