[clp9922]

My county case manager called me and I explained to her why I called and didn't leave message twice the other day when I was having the extreme behavior of anger and anxiety. I don't know how, but she made it happen so that I could get "worked" in that same day. I guess it was Thursday.

The nurse practitioner now suspects Bi-Polar, based on the manic/ mixed episode symptoms I had while taking and after coming off the Lexapro. She doesn't want to change the official diagnosis until we visit a couple more times, I guess. She started me on Gabapentin? (Neurontin) to help with the anxiety, insomnia, and is supposedly a starter associated with mood stabilization "off label" for bi-polar. No other med, as she wants to see how it affects me. She started me on the lower dose of 100mg.

So, I have taken this med 2 nights so far. The side effects and reviews that I researched on this new med states that most folks have issues with feeling drowsy, and dragging. not me, apparently. If anything, it did not really do much either night.

I will say this, and it bothers me a little, because it is not a common side effect. yesterday am when I woke up, I found myself VERY anxious and within an hour, I just couldn't sit still any longer. I figured I would go shop for a couple new blouses for this new job. I went to the mall, of all places. I really don't like going to the mall. I don't like the crowds, but I went early in the am. I then experienced a full-blown MANIA episode, I know it now.

I now know what that feels like now, and frankly, at the time I was actually enjoying it and scared at the same time. I tell you what, I clocked a full days worth of steps in like 3 hours (10,093 according to Samsung Health), found a perfume fragrance that I could never afford at the moment, but was REALLY feeling like...I HAVE TO HAVE THIS STUFF and it took everything I had to not impulsively buy it on my card. I became temporarily, like obsessed with it. WEIRD.

Then, after 4 hours I had completely worn myself out and started to crash. All I wanted to do was go home and crash. I became slightly agitated, but kept my cool.

I took my 2nd dose last night, and yet, still so wired up and exhausted at the same time, I couldn't fall asleep and this morning, up at 530a....I am going today with probably 4 or 4.5 hours sleep. This morning I just feel like I didn't sleep. My eyes hurt. I am concerned.

So was the mania induced by a first time low dose of this stuff, or did it just activate or boost an already existing hypomanic mixed episode that the doc seems to think??

[Shazerac]

Hmm sounds like you really need to discuss this with your therapist ASAP. Having a manic episode sounds serious. I’m no expert but I’ve never heard of Gabapentin causing mania. What you probably need is a mood stabilizer. Gabapentin is not effective as a mood stabilizer, according to studies and research.

[*Laurie*]

My pdoc keeps insisting that Gabapentin is an adjunct (to Lamictal) mood stabilizer. I am not feeling that, personally. Nor has it helped my sleep. Or chronic pain. I'm really not getting what the stuff IS good for.

It sounds unnerving that you had such a reaction. I would definitely contact your NP and ask her what the next step is.

[clp9922]

Hi. Thanks for you guys' input. I absolutely plan to call the med nurse on Monday to talk about this.

Now, I wonder if all this is really happening to me. I can't tell what it going on, if it is med related, if I am actually "awakening" to this new potential diagnosis, or why I feel so fatigued, but wide awake! I feel like I am living out a really bad dream, but I know it's real, hoping it isn't but if it is, this is a roller coaster out of control but quiet.

After I posted this the other day, I went way downhill. I felt like I was on the biggest hangover EVER, and I swear, I don't do any kind of drugs or alcohol, but yeah, that's what it felt like.

I got into a state of severe depressive distress and angry-like state. I actually called the local crisis line to explain to them how I was feeling. the person who answered just told my to talk to my pharmacist or call the ER to talk with them. Gee, thanks lady. So I went to go pick up my thyroid med anyhow, and pulled the pharmacist over to talk about this. She was kind. She said that at such a low dose and just 2 doses, chances were that it was not the medication that caused this, but "the illness". Now wait a moment---This medication, like Laurie mentioned, has not done a thing it was prescribed to me to do (taking the "edge' off my anxiety, per say is a side effect). I have yet to even get drowsy or anything. I am so confused!

I was sharp with my kids and after recognizing that, I apologized to them and locked myself in my room to try to take a nap. I couldn't sleep, but just lay there with my eyes closed, since they hurt so bad. I tried to sleep, but every little sound or conversation outside of my bedroom was distracting from that. I can't usually take naps during the day anyhow.

I had a big headache. I chalked it up to being tired and the lack of sleep. No biggie there.

After a couple hours and 2 doses of Tylenol for my headache, I came out of the room and just vegged on the couch. A couple hours after that, you would have thought a light switch flipped.

I felt fine, rested and still anxious....like wired. Once again, took my new med and intended to go to bed at 930p, but got into a phone call with my sister and was talking million miles an hour.

Today, I was not depressed. I am really quite tired and wide awake at the same time. I am doing okay, considering it is Father's day and I am working really hard to keep all the vibe and attention on my husband and not on me. I hate that I feel so selfish about this. I just don't have closure. I feel like I never will, and I know that I am not out of the woods and very fearful for not what may happen, but knowing without shadow of doubt that it will happen, just don't know when and it stresses me out.

I am anxious about starting the new job tomorrow, and have been having mini-panic/ anxiety attacks last night and today. Last night was some chest pain---no worries. I know it will pass, and sometimes it just takes longer to pass.

[*Laurie*]

Something I will suggest is to be cautious about getting too attached to your new diagnosis. The reason I'm suggesting that is because when we do get attached we might actually overthink our behaviors in order to decide that the diagnosis does, indeed, fit.

[SparkySmart]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Something I will suggest is to be cautious about getting too attached to your new diagnosis. The reason I'm suggesting that is because when we do get attached we might actually overthink our behaviors in order to decide that the diagnosis does, indeed, fit.

This is such good advice, *Laurie*. With all the information available via internet, I've found it tempting (and even comforting) to research and then tailor my symptoms, even retroactively, to a diagnosis.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by SparkySmart

This is such good advice, *Laurie*. With all the information available via internet, I've found it tempting (and even comforting) to research and then tailor my symptoms, even retroactively, to a diagnosis.

Yeah...it's an easy thing to do. We want to validate our symptoms to be sure they're real. Understandable, when so many of us question whether our mental illness is "real".