[notthatkidw0wzer]

Please help. To whoever is out there, I need advice. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to self diagnosis or step on toes so please just be mindful that I’m trying to get help. From what I’ve researched, my symptoms fall along the line of maladaptive daydreaming. The whole other world and seeing two realities at once, but my biggest issue is that for me, it is real. That’s real and everyone thinks I’m crazy. Whenever I open up people get scared and go away. I don’t know what to do. I tried going for help but my therapist said what I was saying wasn’t real and everything I saw was fake and I got mad and I walked out. I get in these mood swings that just range from being suicidal to on top of the world days at a time. I’m sorry this sounds so short and choppy but right now I’m desperate and confused and everyone’s leaving me. I don’t want to sound crazy but I know it does but I also know that that other place is real. Please help me

[Skeezyks]

Hello notthatkidw0wzer: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. You wrote you don't want to self-diagnose. Likewise we here on PC cannot diagnose you either. Mental health diagnosis is a job for a mental health professional. You mentioned you saw a mental health therapist. But the therapist told you the other world you see isn't real, so you got mad & walked out.

You also wrote you know the other world you see is real. I won't tell you the other world you see is fake. That's not for me to say one way or the other. The important point here, it seems to me, is that for you it's real. Perhaps the more important consideration is the distress what you are experiencing is causing you. You mentioned everyone thinks you're crazy, whenever you open up to them they get scared & go away, & that you're desperate & confused. That would all certainly be a frightening way to live.

Unfortunately I don't know as I have any particularly creative suggestions for you as to how to deal with this. The obvious thing is, I suppose, stop talking about this with people who will judge & abandon you for it. I'm an old man now. And I don't know a lot about either psychology or relationships. But one thing I feel I can say with confidence is there are simply things you can't talk about with people in general. They won't understand & they won't stick with you for very long if you continue to talk about it. That's just the way it is, in my opinion. (If you're into such things as art or creative writing or music, these may be alternative more socially acceptable ways of expressing what you experience.)

And that is, to some extent, where therapy comes in. A skilled therapist is going to be willing & able to work with you to help you figure out how to live your life day-to-day in this world even if you do feel you are also experiencing another world other people don't see. I don't know if telling you your other world is fake, as that therapist you saw did, was appropriate or not. I'm not a mental health therapist. My own personal non-professional opinion is that it was probably not. But then not every therapist works well with every client. Sometimes it can take a few tries to find the right therapist for you.

So, as a result, my thinking on this would be that perhaps was is needed here is for you to try and find another therapist who is more compassionate & more willing to work with you rather than to challenge you right off the bat, so to speak. Maybe that kind of tactic works with some people. But it obviously didn't work with you since it just made you mad & caused you to walk out. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post. I wish you well...

[NathanNake]

Skeezyks is right, some people just won't understand. I've battled audio hallucinations brought on by anxiety. They seem super real, but there's no way they can be... For example, hearing people talk about me in Walmart, but then there's nobody visibly around or close enough for me to hear them talking. Or being at a gas station and hearing people talking about me, but there's no other people or cars at the pumps, etc. To this day, part of me still believes people really were talking about me and part of me knows it isn't possible. If your therapist doesn't believe you and you do believe, try to just shrug it off and continue on... She may prescribe you meds that will help you with delusions or hallucinations if that's what they are.

If you're having drastic mood swings that might mean you are bipolar. I have bipolar two - which is depressing downs, but not necessarily manic ups. Meds really do help, but even that takes patience to get the right ones or the correct dosages. Take advantage of group therapy if you have that option. Some people will leave you when they find out about your problems, but going to groups often helps in finding people who understand. Often those relationships turn out to be way better than any relationships that you lose. People who have similar problems are much more caring and sympathetic.

If you really want help then seek it. A lot of it is up to you even though it may feel impossible to do sometimes. It's a struggle, but some beautiful things can develop as well. Finding people who care and understand is one of them. Thanks for sharing.. asking for help can be hard. Take care. : )

[*Laurie*]

Hi, You sound like you're suffering pretty severely. I cannot tell exactly what's going on for you because I read only one post of yours and I don't know anything about your history.

I think I would have been as angry as you were if someone told me that what I see isn't real. I might have walked out, too. But don't think that because one therapist handled your situation badly they all will. I think it's GREAT that you did try to seek help from a medical professional. It would be a really good idea to reach out IRL for help again. Try to hear out what the therapist has to say, and be sure to tell the therapist exactly what's going on for you.

In the meantime, we're here for support and suggestions. Welcome to PC!

[WishfulThinker66]

A few points here. I commend you for turning to find some help and reassurance. Your realisation that self-diagnosis ought to be avoided is a good idea too.

I have some questions: you have mentioned a therapist and I wonder what kind. Are they a psychologist, social worker, or a counsellor? Pretty much anyone can call themselves a therapist these days hence my curiosity at what you have. This wonder is sparked by your indication your 'therapist' is reluctant to make a diagnosis - this because a therapist (psychologist) is trained to do so. The others are not.

Perhaps a referral to a psychiatrist would be a good idea then.

In the meantime, I can understand the fear of not knowing. Seeing a psychiatrist came as a huge relief to me. Finally I knew what was wrong and could start dealing with it. And even moreso, I for the first time realised that I belonged to a group of people just like me.

[delusionalcelebrity]

Hi,

Several people have already commented on this, so writing this may not be necessary. But I wanted to give my two cents.

I recently came to my mother and explained to her what I had been experiencing. You say that everyone walks away, does this include your parents? If so then I’m very sorry to hear this. I think the second step is to find someone that you know can accept what is going on in your head or what you are seeing. Because I think that the first was that you acknowledged what you face and deal with, and want help. I think that’s fantastic.
Now, I do very much agree with Skeezyks. Few of us are actual therapists or mental health professionals, but we can always offer you some advice and support.
If you are able to, talk to your parents about it. If you have and one or both of them disregarded you, like I said before, I am sorry to hear this. Not every parent can believe what their children are saying, I know that for sure.
If you cannot, that’s okay. Find a relative and start there.

If your relationship is falling apart or already has because you talked openly about your issues, I don’t think you should fret. If your partner cannot accept that you are dealing with this on a daily basis (I assume?) then I believe it is best to let them cool off for a while and then, try to resume the relationship once you have received help.

You also mention you are suicidal and have mood swings. I believe quite a few people have already mentioned it, but it could very well be that you have a form of the condition bi-polar.

I think that if you truly need and desire to seek help, continue to mention to your doctor (If possible of course) and if you are still having these thoughts and mood swings, journal it. Taking note of this is important and could help you later if you’d like to understand what is troubling you so severely.
If you see this and want to maybe follow my advice at journaling, I believe you should also write down what you see when you look at the second reality. What goes on, what happens, how long it lasts etc.

I also see that you get mad or scared when talking to therapists and doctors.
I get it.
I think you should try meditation. Keeping calm.
These people are a one way ticket to get out of this. You need to keep your ground.
I know it feels real. It’s vivid and you know you see it. It’s a problem for me too.

I also don’t think that self diagnosing is wrong. I think it’s realizing that you could have a mental health problem and you want to find the answer, but to scared to confront anyone about it.

I think you should get help. Find someone in your family or even outside of it and test your trust with them. If they can’t accept it move on to someone else. Write down when you get suicidal and what you want to do at that exact moment. How long does it go on for? Why do you think you feel this way?

Like I mentioned, I’m not a professional. I just want to help a guy out. You obviously want and need it, because what you describe sounds quite hellish. I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

I think many of us understand it’s hard and it can hurt and we don’t always know why we see or feel the way we do. But in this great little community we can always come together and converse over our issues as one. I’m glad you’ve turned to PC. You don’t have to be afraid, or scared, or worried, or anything. Just speak your mind and you might learn a bit about yourself and your problems along the way.
When your ready, you can seek help.
Take control.
Be strong.