[rdgrad15]

Anyone know why people put so much unnecessary stress on themselves during the holidays? Is there a reason people feel so obligated to do so much that instead of bringing joy to themselves and those around them, they bring anger, resentment, and overall misery? This is a big reason why I hate the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I like the music and seeing other people's decorations, but at the same time, I hate it when it comes to buying gifts and my family decorating because there is so much frustration and people put so much stress on themselves that they are actually miserable.

I've seen it in other people as well. The way I see it, if decorating stresses you out a lot, then don't decorate, or at least just do a very little that is manageable. Same with buying gifts, just buy whatever you think the person would like. No need to stress over fancy stuff. Even a gift card would do and in my opinion, that is the safest route and that is what I usually do, not just during the holidays but during birthdays as well. I feel like getting super angry and stressing yourself out over decorating is so unnecessary and even unhealthy.

After all, they are just decorations that will only be up for a month tops, no need to get so frustrated. My family does that and I hate it. They are just decorations, no need to stress yourselves out. This year it sounds like there will be no outdoor decorations and just some indoor decorations. Which is fine by me, I actually prefer that so no one gets angry since that happens every year. Same with buying gifts and having company over. It stresses everyone out and I feel like it is unnecessary. Does anyone else hate the holidays due to how miserable people get? I find it to be super annoying and even unhealthy.

I used to love decorating but that was when I was a kid and I wasn't exactly aware of just how frustrated everyone gets during the holidays and having to decorate. Now that I'm an adult, I can see the full picture and how people just seem so frustrated and most likely are just decorating out of obligation. This year, we aren't doing that which makes me so happy. There are more important things to be doing than spending the whole day, usually multiple days, decorating and getting angry and stressed out over it. We still have to deal with company but I feel like eliminating most of the decorating will help with some of the frustration and misery. Has anyone else changed their holiday traditions to alleviate frustration and resentment? I feel like people just put on way too much on themselves and do things they don't actually have to do just out of obligation. Just wondered what you guys thought.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((rdgrad5)))) Well, holidays only come once a year so people want to put all their effort into it... but yeah, sometimes it's just stressful and it isn't really worth it. I think spending time with family and friends should be the number one priority.

[TishaBuv]

I enjoyed the decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking and celebrating. It was the struggle with others opposing me that ruined the holidays for me. I’m not doing anything anymore. I’ll light the candles (I’m Jewish) and give my son some chocolate coins as tradition. He only wants a pair of headphones, so we’ll buy those for cyber Monday and that’s it. No wrapping anything. I just saw my other kids and handed them unwrapped stuff out of my trunk that they needed. Whoop de doo!

[healingme4me]

I'm prone to a deep melancholy around this holiday. So, adapatations have been made through the years to minimize the hole I just want to crawl into. I only have so much energy to spare for it. It just is. I don't bring anyone down around me but if it means not seeing dishes sit in a sink for a week(or so) or the tree up into February....((or see me crying in bed all day))
Quiet times together matter. Getting out of the house matters but to do things together. Last year brought this to light for me. To add: brought to light that getting out and doing things matters. We went to the Lakers game last Christmas. We make the day after a day out browsing eating out etc.

I have "traumatic injury" from my youth so um it's been adapted in my life to not go overboard.

[Mountaindewed]

I love the holidays and I have a lot of Christmas spirt. But 2016 was rough because of my job. It was a demanding high end retail job with a lot of customer interaction. So I got really stressed out, But now I have a different job and I feel like I can enjoy the holidays this year. Last year I was at my current job but I was working 8 hour shifts. But this year they switched things around so I’m only working 5 hour shifts for the holiday season. Also I am taking some days off around Christmas time unlike last year when I worked those days. So I am taking some precautionary measures this year to avoid stress, while other things like the shorter work shifts, are just working out in my favor.

[WishfulThinker66]

I blame careful marketing and the media. All during the lead up to the holidays we are inundated with television and film showing us what constitutes the 'magic' of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Similarly we are lamblasted with images in commercials about buying copius amounts of expensive presents. We are driven home the message that only an over the top holiday will be perfect and that unless we buy everyone gifts we are not good enough. Perhaps we can all thank Norman Rockwell for creating such images of what has come to constitute how an American holiday ought to be.

In reality people appreciate you for who you are not what you are. It isn't about the perfect gift or perfect turkey. I think people instead need to find the deeper meaning in whatever beliefs they have pertaining to the time of year and sharing that with those they care about.

[Carolinee13]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I enjoyed the decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking and celebrating. It was the struggle with others opposing me that ruined the holidays for me. I’m not doing anything anymore. I’ll light the candles (I’m Jewish) and give my son some chocolate coins as tradition. He only wants a pair of headphones, so we’ll buy those for cyber Monday and that’s it. No wrapping anything. I just saw my other kids and handed them unwrapped stuff out of my trunk that they needed. Whoop de doo!

Can you share with me a link where did you buy those chocolate coins? I'm love them so much!

[WishfulThinker66]

Me again,

I have been seeing this a lot lately and it has been increasing daily. I work retail. Amongst other duties, I am the woman you see at the exit door checking your receipts for correctness. I am the woman then who gets griped at for the volume and cost of purchases - as if it is my fault everyone of them have done so.

I see mountains of gifts go out in carts - everything from books, toys, and clothing to jewelry, electronics, and TVs. I see the receipts that average hundreds of dollars and more. I see first hand those who get stressed out about ensuring every gift given is perfect. I see people stretching their budget and miserable about feeling they have had to do so.

What I really see are people who want only to feel appreciated, people who feel they only will be so based upon the money spent and gift given.

In reality I think those who are truly important to them will appreciate them no matter the size of the gift or how much was spent.

I just want to point out that if you feel a person is so demanding that only a big and expensive 'wow' gift will do that maybe one ought to evaluate just what kind of relationship you have with them. Is this person worth then you going out on a limb for? Just saying.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

Me again,

I have been seeing this a lot lately and it has been increasing daily. I work retail. Amongst other duties, I am the woman you see at the exit door checking your receipts for correctness. I am the woman then who gets griped at for the volume and cost of purchases - as if it is my fault everyone of them have done so.

I see mountains of gifts go out in carts - everything from books, toys, and clothing to jewelry, electronics, and TVs. I see the receipts that average hundreds of dollars and more. I see first hand those who get stressed out about ensuring every gift given is perfect. I see people stretching their budget and miserable about feeling they have had to do so.

What I really see are people who want only to feel appreciated, people who feel they only will be so based upon the money spent and gift given.

In reality I think those who are truly important to them will appreciate them no matter the size of the gift or how much was spent.

I just want to point out that if you feel a person is so demanding that only a big and expensive 'wow' gift will do that maybe one ought to evaluate just what kind of relationship you have with them. Is this person worth then you going out on a limb for? Just saying.

Yeah I agree. It is rediculous at how much people stress themselves out just to make things perfext and to feel appreciated. I personally could care less. And for me, this wasn’t towards a certain individual, this was just people in general. Not just family and friends, but the general public as well. Although some people are worse than others. I do believe though that thos who are so demanding and want to be on the receiving end of something special and gets mad if they are not probably has some form of insecurities from a lack of attention or something.

[WishfulThinker66]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Yeah I agree. It is rediculous at how much people stress themselves out just to make things perfext and to feel appreciated. I personally could care less. And for me, this wasn’t towards a certain individual, this was just people in general. Not just family and friends, but the general public as well. Although some people are worse than others. I do believe though that thos who are so demanding and want to be on the receiving end of something special and gets mad if they are not probably has some form of insecurities from a lack of attention or something.

Some of the replies to the socks for gifts thread provide just such a glaring example, eh?

[addisonsophia]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I enjoyed the decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking and celebrating. It was the struggle with others opposing me that ruined the holidays for me. I’m not doing anything anymore. I’ll light the candles (I’m Jewish) and give my son some chocolate coins as tradition. He only wants a pair of headphones, so we’ll buy those for cyber Monday and that’s it. No wrapping anything. I just saw my other kids and handed them unwrapped stuff out of my trunk that they needed. Whoop de doo!

Hi Tisha
Please tell me where I will get this chocolate coins??