[liz643]

I hate having to relive all the stressful stuff I have had to go through the past two
weeks. My mentally ill son has had several melt downs and has been verbally abusive. When I become anxious, I can't help it. Things affect me, and I have no control over my reaction (stomach pains mostly) I haven't been sleeping that well and my xanax is starting to not work as well.
I follow my therapist's advice, but it still makes me so anxious when things start to go wrong. I don't want to talk to him about it. It makes me feel worse.

[Yaowen]

You are dealing with so much. I think your feelings are completely understandable and I share many of the same thoughts and feelings that you mentioned.

I wish I knew what to say that would help, but sadly I lack sufficient knowledge, experience and insight.

Like you, I have had the experience of feeling worse after a meeting with a therapist.

I do hope things somehow improve for you. I really admire your strength of character in dealing with so many difficult things. I can only look up to you for that. I wish you only good things, liz.

[Ready4Peace]

I often feel that the idea of talking about something is different from the actual experience of talking about it.
The situation you describe sounds very stressful. My son also had mental health issues and when he is acting out, I feel numb and overwhelmed.
Sometimes I function well and sometimes I just shut down.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by liz643

I hate having to relive all the stressful stuff I have had to go through the past two
weeks. My mentally ill son has had several melt downs and has been verbally abusive. When I become anxious, I can't help it. Things affect me, and I have no control over my reaction (stomach pains mostly) I haven't been sleeping that well and my xanax is starting to not work as well.
I follow my therapist's advice, but it still makes me so anxious when things start to go wrong. I don't want to talk to him about it. It makes me feel worse.

It's understandable you feel this way given that you struggle with PTSD. Not only struggling with your son's melt downs that can be very triggering, but also sitting in front of a therapist talking about it which can serve to bring up all the stress you experienced when dealing with it all.

Maybe therapy would be more helpful if you worked more on practicing calming therapies instead. Sometimes, art therapy helps because it allows the person to sit and create and enjoy something where they are distancing from all the stress they are experiencing.

[mote.of.soul]

I'm the same @liz643 - not interested in talking about past things anymore. But usually with counselors, you can talk about whatever you want and you don't have to talk on the subjects they raise - they understand.

Stay strong @liz643. You & your son will find your way.

[liz643]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

I'm the same @liz643 - not interested in talking about past things anymore. But usually with counselors, you can talk about whatever you want and you don't have to talk on the subjects they raise - they understand.

Stay strong @liz643. You & your son will find your way.

With the COVD-19, He's getting worse. He refuses to wear a face mask properly at dialysis and was sent home Tu. W/o treatment. I guess they just put up with him Sat., but he cut his session short 1/2 hr. He wiil not comply with no smoking in his apt. and came to the door with a cigarette in his mouth when the mgr. Of the apts. asked him to turn down his music after a complaint. I told him if he gets the virus, he will have to go to the hosp. If he doesn't get sick or die from missing
dialysis . He doesn't believe me. I'm at the end of my rope!!

[mote.of.soul]

@liz643

Gosh, I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm not actually a parent but obviously if you're doing your best and you're always trying to advise your son about the best approach - but he doesn't comprehend, then...I really don't know.

I just think it's admirable that you're standing by your son, even though it's a very trying task.