Why Self-sabotage?

Why do people self-sabotage? Are most people aware of what they are doing or do they not really believe there will be consequences for what they have done?

Low self esteem, thinking we don’t deserve to succeed, others want to hold us back so we let them, fear of succeeding…

Sometimes we are aware we are doing something we don’t want to be doing but we can’t stop ourselves.

Some people don’t look ahead to consider the consequences of their actions. Self-sabotaging is when you know there’ll be bad consequences but you can’t stop yourself from self-destruction.

I just don’t know why I have self-sabotaged so much.

i agree with the wise and wonderful TishaBuv that it may be a result of low self-esteem among others. So Sorry that you have to put up with this but i Hope you'll be able to get through this perhaps with the Help of a therapist or Doctor. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @annoyedgrunt84, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

It’s good to look into why you are doing it which hurts you. Maybe a good therapist can help. If you want to stop, you can learn to not do it anymore. All we can do is keep trying our best.

I believe that many (most?) people self-sabotage as adults because they learned the behavior as a child. Could have been from family, friends, peers at school (bullying), teachers.

Have a few thoughts & wondering on thos topic. I for one am not a self-sabotager. I don't fear conflict. So if anyone gets in the way of what I am aiming at, I will bulldoze them right out of my life when the opportunity arises. If something, not someone gets in the way, I will analize is to death to figure a way around it or figure out an even better plan.

I am wondering if those who self-sabotage are very determined to achieve what they want? Are they people who avoid conflict & easily give in to the things or people who would sabotage their aims & goals when some challenge comes into the picture.

I wonder just how much has to do with learned behaviors or maybe basic born with personality.

I think the topic can really be a very deep reaching one that has many facets in each h person's life that does that & I think there are probably more reasons why than we can even imagine....lol....my 2 cents worth on the topic

For me it is the fear of failure. The fear of failure is more paralyzing to me and just giving up and ruining the whole thing to begin with.

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I think a lot of my self-sabotage is the result of not having any clear goals.

I’ve noticed that when people post on social media a lot about their successes like weight loss or quitting smoking they always seem to self sabotage themselves and then post about how they love tacos and like the way they are or something and then a few weeks later it’s the same motivational weight loss posts. And they just go back and forth with the same posts and pictures all the time. That’s one of the reasons I’m getting frustrated with social media.

I don’t understand why people tend to self sabotage after being super happy and motivated about something for a long time. It could just be an addiction I guess that comes back.

I think that a lot of my self sabotage is the result of perfectionism as well, if something isn’t perfect then I just don’t do it at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84 I think that a lot of my self sabotage is the result of perfectionism as well, if something isn’t perfect then I just don’t do it at all.

I was kinda perfectionist all my life & at 21, married a guy who was "half-@$$ed" at everything. It was at that point I realized that even if I strived for perfection & missed, I was going to come a lot closer to being better than just good or below average that striving to be "half-@$$ed" got you. What really irritated me was when I asked him to do something I needed done & got "half-@$$" results that made my work harder. Guess that is exactly why I have learned to do so many things for myself. Sometimes getting started takes awhile but I find it is so much simpler than I originally think when starting a project