analysis of unwanted remarks: help me with this

These are the words of a teacher with me as a student:
she was telling me to "pull up your socks" - meaning to work faster;
she was saying things like "the other students are wondering why you
are not finished yet" (there were no other students around);
and she kept telling me the time - it seemed like every 10 minutes.
I am wondering about how these were intended - to make me feel -
were these said to make me feel inadequate? or to be intimidated?
-- these remarks were unwanted, annoying, insulting, etc.
What could have been the reason for these remarks?

It sounds like she thought those remarks might motivate you. Sometimes people have an odd way of trying to be encouraging!

Well nothing can be said for sure according to your statement...
The motive or intention is not clear, but usually teachers do things that are meant to be good for us, also they are also humans and she might have some of her own problems in her mind, or may be she was tired and wanted to finish quickly as according to your words, you were alone in the class.
So nothing big or messy seems here.

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

I of course don't know both sides of this story, nor the context of the situation -

BUT sure sounds like they are a very miserable person and she wants to take it out on someone. And if you are quite and shy - you would be the perfect target

Rose,

ACK! I would have been ready to pull my hair (or the teacher's hair) out. Not that I'd recommend either. I would have not had any idea what she meant by the socks comment. I prob. would have thought she was nit-picky about the way I wore my actual socks. lol. Anyway, the "other students"- you said no other students were around. Did she mean because they had finished and left already?

It is possible she thought you could help being slow and wanted to prod you to speed up, esp. if she was in a hurry to leave, or maybe- as others have said- she was trying to motivate you. She would have ticked me off, though, not to mention, when someone interrupts you all the time (as you said she did with the time reminders and other comments), it makes concerntration more difficult. Not to mention, the stress and irritation at her words, and at anticipating her pipeing up again, would make concentrating more difficult, as well. Basically, I'm saying, this would not only have had me irritated, angry, and anxious, it would have prob. caused me to work slower, not out of spite, but out of distraction. So if she was trying to make you speed up, it could haev had the opposite affect (prob. would have with me). Also, if you did speed up just because she was riding you about it, that could cause you to get a worse score and not do your best. It seems all around like a bad idea to me.

I think it is rude, insensitive, and insulting. I also think it could hinder you, if you respond as I do. It would have made me feel inadequate (that doesn't mean you are, just that I understand why this evoked that feeling in you) and insulted, also. Maybe she is rude and knows it, or maybe, that's not the case at all. Perhaps, she just doesn't know any better than to say what she is saying. Some people aren't as sensitive as others and would just laugh this off. Maybe she presumes everyone is that way and won't take it harshly. With that said, there's nothing wrong with being a bit more sensitive. I would have been insulted by it, too. To tell you the truth, though, while she might not have meant anything rude by it, that comment about the other students PARTICULARLY ticks me off. It's comparison for starters. Some people might use that to motivate and instill a competitive sense, but to me, it is insulting. All students are diff. and should not be compared to one another. Secondly, it also seems to be use the imagined opinions of other students against you. To me, it would feel like an insult, and an embarassment tactic. It might be far from it, and she might be a wonderful lady, but I would have taken to her techniques poorly, and would have put her on my crap list until she did something that redeemed her with me. I don't suggest you do this, because she might not have meant any harm by it. I just know that's how I prob. would have reacted.

Regardless of how she meant it, being slow doesn't mean you aren't as good as the other students. Sometimes slower students make better scores than the faster ones. Speed isn't everything! At least you are taking your time and trying. She should be glad you're applying yourself. That is something to compliment and encourage. I am slow with everything I do- I can't seem to help myself, so I can understand where you are coming from. I have often been the last one to finish in class, and many times every else left before even I finished.

If she tries this at a later time, maybe you can address it with her. Perhaps if she repeatedly interrupts you could say, "I'm going as fast as I can, while still trying to do a good job- you want me to try my best, right?" If she says, "The other students are wondering why you're not finished, yet," perhaps you could say, "I would have thought they'd have better things to worry about, but if you're right, and they ask you about it later, you can tell them that different people work at different paces, and this is mine- besides, I'd rather do a good job, than a rush job. As a teacher, I bet you can appreciate that- maybe you can pass that appreciation on to them." Of course, that "I would have thought.....worry about" part might be a little smart alec-y. Not as bad as what I'd want to say to her, though. Nor as bad as what I might be apt to say. Yet, I don't advise you get too smart alec-y because it could cause you problems in class. Also, I'm not sure what grade you're in. In highschool or below, talking back could cause you to end up in detention, the principal's office, etc. In college, you have a little more freedom to be mouthy, but even then, you don't want to make an enemy out of the teacher.

Maybe that's not the best idea- maybe the best idea is to address it now before it ever comes up again. Could you discuss these feelings with her now? Maybe write a letter if it's difficult to do in any other way. Explain to her you felt the comments were demeaning and that they made you feel inadequate, as you said here. Explain to her that you aren't being deliberately slow, and are working at what is a comfortable pace for you. Explain that you are trying to do your best, and cannot work well at a faster pace. Politely point out that such comments aren't going to help you work any faster- unless you do a shoddy rush job, which surely, she wouldn't want you to (or shouldn't, anyway)- because you can't go faster, and still do a good job. If you could have, you would have already. I'd make it clear that her comments were not only unhelpful, they were harmful. If they messed up your concentration, say so. And let her know that you found them insulting. If your letter is CLEARLY POLITE, she should respect your feelings and what you wrote. If she doesn't, she has a problem. If she didn't mean to be rude to you in the first place, maybe your letter or talk (if you do it face to face, instead), will help her to realize the affect she's having on you, and how she is really coming across to her students. Good luck.

Hi Rose

It sounds to me like your teacher was anxious to get out of the classroom and go home. I see nothing of value in her words to you. If she had said that to me, I would be tempted to show up the next day wearing a skirt and knee high socks pushed down around my ankles.

I'm sorry to hear you don't meet up to the standards of your teacher's imaginary students who surround you.

Thank you everybody.
Because I have such a thick skin - I didn't let her comments affect me; they only
superficially irritated me because she was so obnoxious.
If she thinks that any of those kinds of comments are at all "motivating" - well -
sorry - they are only annoying and recognized as demeaning.
Actually - we weren't at the end of a day - and I'm not slow.
I have never in my life encountered such an irritating "teacher".

You will encounter thorns and stony paths in your life's journey, wisdom lies in avoiding them and if could not be avoided at all, then at least damage should be kept at minimal.

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

She was using indirect references to ease the pressure applied to you. Instead of saying "hurry up" she said "pull up your socks," and "the other students are wondering why you are not finished yet." This is in order to take the emphasis off of HER and put it elsewhere. That way, you don't get mad at HER for nagging you. I know because I was trained to be a teacher. (OK, everyone together: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ) By directing your irritation at undefinable objects like your socks and a group of "other students" who actually didn't exist at that moment, you had no one to blame.

thanks again. Nevertheless - I have never in my life encountered such insulting remarks. None of her remarks were necessary. She also misquoted me on several
items (so I guess I caught her telling some "lies") - but the higher ups don't want me
to say so. I am a highly motivated person, and I have always worked in an organized
manner. And I have no respect for this person.

just seeing if my post works lol

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It worked...
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