Hee Hee!! (Only read this if you are in an okay place and can handle a risque joke)

So I was perusing through my email this evening and noticed I had something in my Spam box. I read the title of the email and was immediately intrigued.

I'm sure that many of you have received emails similar to this, as they are popular internet scams. This is what it said....

"Hello,
I am a Manager/Auditor of a bank. A client of mine died in 2003, Kenya plane crash and he has a lodgment fund of US$14.5M. And no one knows about the funds,The Strategy is to use our influence as Managers in the bank to approve the funds to you. If you are interested to help me claim it forward to me your names,cell,Phone/fax,profession,age and country so I can contact you. My client name is Dr. George Brumley, you can confirm. http://www.sptimes.com/2003/07/21/Wo...die_in_K.shtml
Thank You
Mr, T.Paul"

Now...normally I wouldn't waste my time, but today I am quite irritable and just don't give a flying hoot-owl....and I'm feeling a bit snarky, so I decided to respond.

This was my retort....

"Mr. Tambo,

Thank you so much for allowing me to help in this venture. I will gladly forward you the information that you have requested. Please dear sir, if you will, send me your mailing address, cell phone number, fax number, age, and country so that I may comply. Once you place the money in my account, I will be happy to hand it over to you. Of course I will need your account and banking information as well so that I may transfer the funds. Upon this transfer, I will send my Pilot with my private jet to fly you to my island. There we will sip on the finest Brandy's and Cognac's and lounge around with my five female Siberian Monkeys. They are in heat right now and quite fertile. You shall enjoy them as they are very gentle with the Male of our species.

Once you have had your fill of my fine monkeys, and they have had their fill of you, you will enjoy a relaxing massage with the finest Cigars at your fingertips. After your rejuvenation period you will be cleansed and you and I shall board my jet and fly off to Rome to meet with the Administers of the Great Vatican.

There, all your questions will be answered and all your dreams will come true.

Please forward your information to me post haste, and our journey together shall begin. Until then, I will be fondling you in my thoughts.

Good night dear Sir."

Oh, Mr Tambo....you mess with the Goose, you get the Gander!!!

Wow....Tough Crowd!!

Elysium, I loved your response to the email. I get these ridiculous emails all the time and wish I could have responded so ...shall i say, eloquently? Thanks for the laugh, it made my day!

Thanks lol!

that's rich!
(pun not intended but I noticed it)

hahahaha wonder if you will get a response? (tongue in cheek)

Very creative!

Good for you Elysium. My mother used to have this saying "there's a fool born every minute". You would think with all the warnings that people wouldn't fall for these schemes, but there was a young man in our county who fell for a similar scheme. They emailed him and told him there was a long lost relative who had millions, but died and wanted his distant relatives to get his money. All he had to do was transfer 10,000 to secure the money. It's a long story that went on for months and the young man borrowed more money everytime they came up with a new reason. He even flew to England to make the final transfer of money. He ended up losing $100,000.

When we first started looking for a dog I came upon an ad for yorkies with an email address. So I emailed them and within a second I got a response. It said "thank you for your interest, me and my husband are doing missionary work in Africa for a Christian Mission and we don't have the time to take care of our baby 8 week old yorkie. If you would be nice enough to agree to adopt we will give you him free and all you have to do is pay the shipping costs of $400" Can you believe they wanted me to believe, they would ship an 8wk old yorkie. A couple weeks later I saw in the newspaper a story about several people in our area fell for it.

The dog story has made it's rounds here as well.

Excellent response to the sender Elysium....unfortunately, it won't do much good in stopping them for preying on innocents. But as long as you feel better for the effort and the laugh...then by golly that's GREAT!

I've done similar things to telemarketers that call (before we had the "do not call list") Like, I've asked for their personal home or cell number so I could call them back at my convenience, or when they've asked for the head of household I would say sure, hang on and I would put the phone down and walk away......come back later to here the beep beep of the phone cuz they hung up.....took me off their call list so it worked

Loved you response!

Yeah...I have a little fun with these type of emails sometimes.

There's not much I know I can do to help stop this type of scam. Whenever I get one of these type of spam emails I do forward them to the Portland FBI Internet Crimes Department. I don't know if they ever follow up on any of them...but I figure maybe one day they will.

I really hate those telemarketers. Some people aren't aware that you can ask to be put on the 'do not call list'. I hope one day I have the courage, if they call to say - "I'm sorry, but that person died recently" or "I'm sorry they're in jail".

Okay Elysium3006 one = True Story.

I'm in Financial Debt 'bout $20,00.00
I had recently been in the looney bin
Got home to numberous calls from creditors

1. One said asked me why I didn't pay - I was in the phyc ward....S.......
He told me that was no excuse. I told him F off, hung up

2. Another debt collector : I played this game.... I acted like I was crying and said 'why do you people keep calling here, she died. I just have her phone number, this is hard enough, she's dead.

MORAL - on my CREDITS REPORTS (I already have already filed bankrupts twice) I'll never get credit again anyway and I have no assets.

Now my credit report Say's "I'M DEAD"

Lynn, that won't stop them. If it's a telemarketer, they'll try to hook you. And God forbid it's a bill collector! I had the same home phone number for 14 years and someone had used it on a credit application somewhere. No matter what I said I couldn't convince them that I'd never heard of the person they were talking about. I finally told them to stop calling and contact whomever it was via mail.

On the one hand I feel bad for them, they work on commission. They're trying to make a living too. But on the other hand, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!