Is this what it's like to be 13 in todays society??

I am so proud of the parents who do provide their kids with the moral values that are important for not only the children, but for the future of our countries. Where there is lack of values in one area, you can be sure they are lacking in many other ways also. When children value their own selves & are willing to stand up for what they believe....the thing is that they have to be taught what to believe before they can believe it & have to have the good examples around them to learn from also.

I think it became unacceptable to abstain when the parents didn't believe in abstainance (meaning free sex for entertainment purposes). When the parents didn't want to corrupt their childs mind because they want them to figure out their own values.....how often I heard that comment from my generation (I'm 57, graduated from HS in 1970). Having sexual relationships was only heard of once in awhile & pregancies only happened once in awhile also.

Our generation started the policy of not cramming religion down the throat of their kids, but with that also came not cramming down any moral values either...let them figure it out when they are old enough or when they end up in the situation (obviously, they had chosen not to have recreational sex.....their children wouldn't choose that either).....they discounted the fact that they had been taught values whether it was in a way they liked or didn't like, they had held to the values.

I see that each generation fell farther & farther away from teaching their children moral values (where ever they would come from in their lives). Each generation that wasn't taught didn't have any concept of how to or what to teach their children to hold onto those values. Only good parents who were willing to hold onto those values themselves & truly believed in them & were good parents with the responsible feeling of teaching their children good values are the only ones who have held to it. Some parents were so busy with working or their own lives, they left it to the schools to teach but tied the hands of the school to enforce any wrong behavior (not saying that corporal punishment was how it should have been enforced (glad that is gone also), but there were other ways that existed that weren't harsh, but reinforced good behavior). Besides, it isn't the schools place to teach values that a family should be passing on to their children IMO.

Looking at the adults, we can also see less & less moral values out there, so how do they teach their children values they don't have? I have seen more cases of abuse than ever existed around my generation (don't think it was just hidden well...there wasn't the prevalence even though it did happen). Parents who abuse have no values or they wouldn't abuse......Where do children learn good moral values from that kind of environment?

There are exceptions to every situation in the case of learning moral values, but the bottom line is that parents who have chosen to live without those values don't have any values to pass on to their children other than the ones they are holding on to....so instead of corrupting their minds with cramming values into their minds, they end up cramming lack of values on them. Guess I look at society & feel that a society who had moral values crammed down it's throat is still better off than the society with none.

Sure glad that there still are parents like many of you here (LynnP & AAAAA) who are holding onto your values & teaching (or have taught) your children the right way to respect themselves & others. It's a difficult job but so very important.

I think abstinence became unacceptable when every teen-oriented show on television began to have a "So-and-so loses his/her virginity" episode. The only teen character I ever saw backing out of it and deciding to wait a while, was Doogie Howser, MD. There may have been others who also backed out, but even then, there is more talk of waiting until you're "ready" than of waiting until you're married, which used to be the societal norm.

Again with television shows, I watched an episode of "Quantum Leap" once, where a teenage boy was being harassed by his peers for still being a virgin. (One of the kids who was the most vocal with the insults was also still a virgin, but was putting on a strutting rooster act. By joining in the teasing of this other boy, he would throw the spotlight off himself.) In the end of the episode, the boy had not lost his virginity, but to "save" his reputation, his girlfriend kissed him passionately in front of friends, trying to make it look as if they were sexually active when they were not. I realize this is a television show, but I wonder how much of that goes on in real life. I wonder how many of the 12-to-14-year-olds who talk a good game and pressure others into having sex, have not actually done it themselves but want to show off and act like they have.

One more: I can't remember what talk show this was, but it aired some time in the 1990's. The guests on stage were all men in their 20's who had decided to wait until marriage before having sex, and the audience kept ridiculing them with statements like "you're all a bunch of mama's boys." It made me so mad, watching that.

Found the Quantum Leap ep, if anyone is interested.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/98182/quan...tember-30-1981

Well there's a new development and I'm beginning to think the school has no control what so ever once the kids are on the bus. On the way home today this girl started simulating oral sex with a pickle My daughter said as soon as some of the boys saw, they got out of their seats to get a closer look. She heard the boys talking to each other how this turns them on.

I called the school again and told the vice principle, that what ever plan he implemented didn't work. I asked if the bus driver knew about her behavior, since this girl sits near the back and it's noisy. He said she doesn't know. I asked if he would consider assigning her a seat - he said he would, but he sounded unenthusiastic. I told him him I would no longer be calling in relation to this girls behavior - I feel she's completely out of control. So the grade 7 and 8 boys are being taught how to be with a girl in the most disrespectful way. One of the boys actually changed seats, sitting next to my daughter, while he watched as if watching a porn flick -she told him to leave her seat. I'm so fed up and discouraged. The only bright note is hopefully she will be moving on to another bus in September since she'll be going to high school.

Wow that's super super harsh and unfair.... I hope they had the girl on probation too, unless she was unwilling, she has just as much fault....

Poor guy, he was only being a typical teen boy.

She wasn’t unwilling, but she couldn’t legally consent either (nor could he for that matter). This is one of those things where something was designed with the best intentions, but went wrong.

The ways the laws are written here, the ambiguity that could accompany a date rape case here is gone. In my opinion that’s a good thing. But the result also has the side effect that we have a generation of “sex offenders” that are not predators, they just exercised poor judgment.

In this area, they do take these things very seriously. I’m not a social butterfly, my circle is very small, but I personally know four men (now) that have to register as sexual offenders because of teenaged indiscretions.

The law does not appear to be applied as strictly to the females, but there are cases on file. A friend’s daughter had a baby last year. She was 18 when she got pregnant, her boyfriend was 17. They were absolutely terrified to file for child support because the boy’s parents threatened to make a criminal complaint if they did.

Their lawyer informed them that the laws have change here in Wisconsin, there is no longer a 7 year statute of limitations on sexual assault of a minor, it has been changed until the “victim reaches the age of 35”. Again, another seemly positive step to protect the victims that has negative side effects; who would have thought that allowing victims more time to make a charge could be a bad thing? But in this case that threat can be held above the mother’s head until the child reaches the age of 18.

On a side note, this woman can never apply for welfare because when she names the father, the state gets involved and they will prosecute to the full extent of the law. The baby’s DNA is proof that sexual contact happened before the child hit 18, whether the participants were willing or not makes no difference. Which is how one of the four men I know ended up being a registered sexual offender (he was 19, his girlfriend was 17).

I’d love to say that our state is paving the way for victim’s rights, but the fact is the reason they passed these laws were to deter under aged mothers from seeking welfare.

Lynn~
How about if you can arrange to have your daughter a seat reserved in the very front, next to the driver. Since all the activity seems to be happening in the back, (and looks as though it will continue, despite your efforts), sitting in the very front will keep her much more removed from the bad behavior?

Just a thought....

Shangrala

Does she want to sit in the front? I mean, you realize you are setting her up to be horribly and unmercifully teased right? Special treatment for a child who has to sit by the bus driver because the big bad kids in the back are scaring her.

I'm not trying to be flippant, just suggesting and trying to describe what my experience tells me how the other kids are going to look at her. Part of growing up and becoming a strong capable adult is figuring out what to do in situations like this on your own. Coming and talking to mom or dad about it is great, and mom and/or dad making suggestions and all - even coming right out and telling her what to do is great...but calling the school and making an issue out of her having a special seat near the adult... doing it for her, in my opinion, not so great.

I appreciate you/everyones suggestions. I know you mentioned Shangrala that your daughter is home schooled, so you're most likely not familiar with bus protocol. The front of the bus is for younger kids and the seat nearest the driver is meant for unruly kids. Since my daughters not the one misbehaving, she not going to move seats. I suggested to the principle the girl in question should be assigned a seat or restricted from the bus period.

I know you're were trying your best to help me find a solution Shangrala and I appreciate this.

No my daughter doesn't want to sit at the front and will sit where she wants. I want to make it clear my daughters not disturbed by these events but more disgusted at their behavior. She's also not scared of any of them and she's can kick their butt if necessary. I'm probably more upset than she is. I've already educated her about sex and proper behavior - not disrespecting yourself.
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My whole point in all of this is - this is very inappropriate behavior on the bus. This girl is teaching boys how to disrespect girls. She's teaching them it's okay to grab another girls breast and she's literally getting these boys reved up. My concern is something bad could happen.

The reason I wrote this post was to get opinions of what it's like to be young in todays society. Does this mean it's normal to feel girls breasts on the bus? Has our society deteriorated that much? Should I just accept this is normal and ignore it? My daughter can take care of herself just fine. IMO I think this girl should be banned from the bus or she should have to sit behind the bus driver. In a month it won't matter because the school year will be over and this young women will be in grade 9.

If this girl wants guys to touch her breast in a private setting - that's fine it's not my business. I'm trying to be a good citizen and demand proper behavior on the bus. I'm not concerned by their behavior influencing my daughter because my daughter has good morals and has a leader type of personality.

You can't be more right about that, Lynn. I am completely ignorant to the rules of the school bus, (even when dot was in public school, I drove her).

I'm out of suggestions.lol..and not of much help...cept for sending you and your dot some huggles and hopes for a solution to this.

I disagree that she is teaching boys how to disrespect girls. She is teaching boys that it's okay to 'disrespect' her. I italisized the word disrespect simply because not everyone is going to agree on what disrespect is.

Pretty much, at least the ones that encourage it. It was done when I was in school.

I'm not sure I embrace the concept that this is proof of rapid deterioration. Like I said, it was happening when I was going to school and that was quite some time ago.

I'm thinking yes. Since your daughter is not disturbed by this, she's not scared and she can kick their collective butts as well as the fact that the school year will be over in a month, yeah, let it go.

I know you are trying to do the right thing, but you've brought it up to the school, as long as your daughter isn't in danger, perhaps it would be better to leave it in their hands.

When I was thirteen we were doing similar things but as much as we might have liked to choose a private setting... we didn't usually have that opportunity at thirteen and so, we made due with what we had.

Personally I don't think kids this age should be touching the private parts of others. I realize though, there are some teenagers who do this and even have sex, but the bus isn't the place to do that. Lets just say this girl had a BF and they were sitting together and he touched her breast. Although not the place, I don't think this would be noticed or an issue.

What was disturbing was, this was a gang type of act, where a group of boys were watching and the girl and boy weren't BF and GF. Is it okay to watch other people doing a private act - yes I know some adults enjoy this watching people make out and have sex. The point is, there wasn't any tenderness involved, like a typical BF and GF would show. It was random act, which was odd. I would hope if kids this age are going to do this, they would at least be going out with each other and not do it in front of others. You would think parents would teach their children, when they do decide to become sexual with someone, there should be a special connection 1st and it should be private and special. You don't just go to random people and say here you go - touch me and the ones doing the touching,should know there should be a special connection 1st - not just touching a random girl.

On the bus there are rules like no hard candy, no gum, no open drinks, no standing up. If these rules can be respected, then I think no touching private parts is reasonable as well. There's grade 4's on the bus - should they be exposed to this? The bus isn't a make out place.

I couldn’t agree with you more Lynn. The school bus or any public place is not the place for this behavior at ANY age.

I think that it’s commendable that you’ve taken on this cause Lynn. Although your daughters are well adjusted, what about those kids that don’t have a great home life? I’m not talking about a hellish existence, but those that don’t feel comfortable discussing this with their parents, or those with parents are too busy to concern themselves with something like this.

Thank you ((AAAAA)) for the boost of confidence - I needed that. Since you're a mom I know you can relate to what I'm saying.

I am right here backing what you are doing also Lynn. I am so sorry that our society is deteriorating the way it is. I am sorry that people think that just because people do things that are morally wrong, they feel that we are supposed to accept it as the norm. That is exactly why our society is deteriorating because no one has been willing to stand up to what has been going on that isn't acceptable. Parents haven't been willing to teach their children right from wrong because without moral values, they have lost the concept of right & wrong.

AAAAA;s comment is right on.:
Just because the younger people saw things going on around them, they start feeling that is normal even though it wasn't right because no one stood up at that time & said anything about it didn't mean it was right then. When more & more people feel that way, less & less controls are placed on behavior that is wrong & pretty soon, society is nothing but a free for all with anyone doing anything they please because they should be allowed to do whatever they want. In my book, that always was the definition of Chaos. I for one don't want to live in a society like that. I don't believe that the things going on behind the closed doors are right either. That I can't do anything about, but I am still able to voice my opinion on the fact I believe it to be wrong.

Just because something ends up being the norm, doesn't make it right. Look at history.....there are many things that were done that were done that they tried to make us believe that it was the right thing to do. It is important that we stand up for what we believe is right & that we are able to speak out & take action as parents when we see something that is wrong going on. How many other children don't talk to their parents, or have parents who aren't willing to stand up for what they believe is right.....who's children end up seeing this & then they start to think this is the norm because it's being done. Where do they learn the right & wrong from? We can't let the world around us dictate wrong behavior as being right.

You are doing the right thing Lynn.....keep standing up for what is right. ....you have my support all the way.

Thank you ((Eskielover)) for your support. Your post came at the perfect time because I was just going to post here. My fear all along was - this kind of behavior will spread and others will start to misbehave. Today a boy in front of my daughters seat, turned around and said "you have big breasts". My daughter slapped him upside the head. I don't advocate violence but she was offended.

I agree with everything you said. I realize kids do have sexual feelings but it makes me sad to think some kids this age are having sex. I definitely think it's more common today than even 15 yrs ago. I'm afraid what it's going to be like 20yrs from now.

Glad my post had good timing. I don't know why the kids today think they have any more sexual feelings that kids did in our day....the only difference is that we knew it was wrong to take action on those feelings & we had enough self control to not act on those feelings...it didn't mean that they didn't exist.

The kids of today haven't been taught that they don't have to act on their feelings...more like it...many have been taught to do whatever they feel like & because they want to do something, that makes it right. That is what happens when they aren't taught moral values to hold onto......beyond the moral values that haven't been taught, the concept of right & wrong is being moved away from also. That move has started with sexual feelings, but it's moving to other areas which is why we have the shootings & other things going on in the schools that we didn't have when I grew up.

It's the whole right & wrong teaching that is missing & being replaced by the do what you feel like doing & that is what is right philosophy that is taking over the world, not just our countries.

I struggle with this topic as it's something that I feel very passionate about. More parents who feel strongly about this need to stand up & let their voices be heard, so that the wrong doesn't win by out being silent. This is what you are doing & if we don't want to be run over & have these wrong actions shoved in our faces in the future, we have to step up now & say something to get it to stop.

Keep up the good work & I hope others will step up with you. Maybe you need to get a group of parents together who feel strongly about this like you from the school. Maybe you could get some parents names from the PTA (or what ever they call the parent's association) & gather some strength behind your voice.

We had that situation with the library last year that allowed minors to check out graphically explicit books & had them placed in a location of the library right next to the children's comic books. I had posted about this.....where the parents didn't want their children's books to be sensored by the library.....it wasn't sensorship any more than allowing them to check out x rated movies. Those parents with the values need to stand together against those who don't want any controls being placed on their children. As I said before, a world without rules or accountability is nothing more than living in chaos & I don't care to live around that being pushed in my face & I sure don't want to see it being pushed on my children (or grandchildren). We need more parents like you & AAAAA willing to stand up against the moral degeneration that is going on all around us. Keep heart & keep up your good work. I am sure there are many other parents in the school that feel the same way & would be glad to join in on the cause.

I’ve posted a number of times in this thread and while I thought I was done, apparently not. At one point I began a new thread called the decline of morals in an effort to not hijack this thread but I didn’t get the questions answered that I was looking for. I’m going to chalk that up to me communicating my questions poorly; I’ll try to do better this time. Let me say too, I’m new to Psych Central and I hold a non-mainstream (at least for here) view. That coupled with the nearly twelve pages of preaching to the choir has got me feeling a little bit marginalized.

So let me ask, does anyone here think that diversity is a good thing? If so, is diversity only a good thing if it doesn’t clash with your morals or values? I hear people continuing to say, over and over, that the problem is that parents aren’t teaching their children values anymore. No one seems to be considering the possibility that they are in fact teaching their children morals and values but that their values might be different than yours. My father is the best man I know. He certainly might not follow every rule or even law, but that humble man who raised a family working sixteen hours a day, seven days a week, never earning more than $30,000 a year, had 2000 people buy a ticket to his surprise 50th birthday party within 48 hours, including the mayor, three state reps and Senator Kennedy. My step-mom died in 2006 and dad has never missed a day at her grave to say a prayer and tell her that he loves her. That’s the man who taught me my morals. He’s also the same one that allowed me to be curious and experiment believing that his example would be enough.

At thirteen my generation was just as precocious as this school bus crowd. My girlfriends and I were not trying to be disrespectful of anyone, but while the local hotel took visa, they didn’t take it off a thirteen year old – they still don’t. I guess part of my fascination with this thread is the constant implication that boys are going to start attacking girls after witnessing such things or that these children are devoid of morals and values and, barring some kind of immediate adult intervention, they are doomed to a life of immorality. What does that say about me?

I’ll tell you about me. My wife hasn’t been able to have sex for twenty-two years and I have never even so much as looked at another woman during that time. She was mostly unavailable to raise our children and so I raised them by myself. We have two daughters and two granddaughters who love dad and grampa. I am not a moral degenerate and yet, it seems that all those many years ago you would confuse me with one of those boys on the bus. I learned what I wanted and what I respected in a girl and then a woman from adolescent stumblings on buses, in the back of movie theatres and the roller rink. Without those learning experiences at that point in my life, I am confident that I would have had a more circuitous path to the happiness I have with my wife.

Anyway, I understand that we have different view – and as far as I’m concerned, that’s okay! But it’s hard to listen to the talk of morals and values as if their absolute and the people that think this certain way have a monopoly on morality and the rest of us need to be fixed…and that fixed is like you.

AK, I'm just a little confused about your defensiveness on this issue. Are you of the opinion it is OK for kids to be groping each other's private parts on a school bus? In front of even younger kids, who haven't yet reached a double-digit birthday? And that those of us who object to it simply have sticks up our butts, and should quit trying to force our morals?

So where do you draw the line? Is it then OK for the clothes to come off? For Heaven's sake, let's allow them to start exchanging body fluids, right there in front of everyone. And how young an audience would be allowed? There are 9-year-olds on the bus, watching boys grab girls by the breasts. Apparently that's OK. What about as young as 5? Should we all just rip off our clothes and start having full-on sex in front of 5-year-olds?

Or what *are* you trying to say?

I havent read the whole thread (bad I know but heck its 12 pages long ! )

AK has a point this has been going on for some years especially in the UK, when my son was 12 he is now 21 another lad at the school asked a girl to give him a **** *** she refused he was fine with that. She then went on to tell her friends so he walked up to her at the bus stop and slapped her in the face, this was seemingly acceptable ?

So things in the UK are just as bad and I would imagine in the last nine years it has become worse.

I don't know how to multi quote so bear with me here.

[quote=AkAngel;1388250]I’ve posted a number of times in this thread and while I thought I was done, apparently not. At one point I began a new thread called the decline of morals in an effort to not hijack this thread but I didn’t get the questions answered that I was looking for. I’m going to chalk that up to me communicating my questions poorly; I’ll try to do better this time. Let me say too, I’m new to Psych Central and I hold a non-mainstream (at least for here) view. That coupled with the nearly twelve pages of preaching to the choir has got me feeling a little bit marginalized. I don't feel I'm preaching. I was shocked at the rude behavior on the bus and yes I do believe sex too young is a mistake.

So let me ask, does anyone here think that diversity is a good thing?Yes diversity is a good thing If so, is diversity only a good thing if it doesn’t clash with your morals or values? I hear people continuing to say, over and over, that the problem is that parents aren’t teaching their children values anymore. No one seems to be considering the possibility that they are in fact teaching their children morals and values but that their values might be different than yours. Sure that's possible My father is the best man I know. He certainly might not follow every rule or even law, but that humble man who raised a family working sixteen hours a day, seven days a week, never earning more than $30,000 a year, had 2000 people buy a ticket to his surprise 50th birthday party within 48 hours, including the mayor, three state reps and Senator Kennedy. My step-mom died in 2006 and dad has never missed a day at her grave to say a prayer and tell her that he loves her. That’s the man who taught me my morals. He’s also the same one that allowed me to be curious and experiment believing that his example would be enough. I'm happy you have a great dad and he gave you some freedom. I also think boys are given more freedom than girls. Maybe you were respectful to young girls and tried to establish a connection before touching.

At thirteen my generation was just as precocious as this school bus crowd. My girlfriends and I were not trying to be disrespectful of anyone, but while the local hotel took visa, they didn’t take it off a thirteen year old – they still don’t. Would you grab a girl you barely know on the breast or was it your special girl at the time?I guess part of my fascination with this thread is the constant implication that boys are going to start attacking girls after witnessing such things or that these children are devoid of morals and values and, barring some kind of immediate adult intervention, they are doomed to a life of immorality. What does that say about me? I'm not talking about you. Yes this behavior has given a bad impression, as I wrote in last nights post - a boy turned around and said to my daughter "you have big breasts"

I’ll tell you about me. My wife hasn’t been able to have sex for twenty-two years and I have never even so much as looked at another woman during that time. She was mostly unavailable to raise our children and so I raised them by myself. We have two daughters and two granddaughters who love dad and grampa.Would it have been okay if your daughter offered free grabs to boys on the bus and simulate oral sex with a pickle. I am not a moral degenerate and yet, it seems that all those many years ago you would confuse me with one of those boys on the bus. I learned what I wanted and what I respected in a girl and then a woman from adolescent stumblings on buses, in the back of movie theatres and the roller rink. Without those learning experiences at that point in my life, I am confident that I would have had a more circuitous path to the happiness I have with my wife.

Anyway, I understand that we have different view – and as far as I’m concerned, that’s okay! But it’s hard to listen to the talk of morals and values as if their absolute and the people that think this certain way have a monopoly on morality and the rest of us need to be fixed…and that fixed is like you. [/quote) I'm a fair person and I don't mind if you or someone else has different morals.

I don't know if you read my last few posts. I mentioned if this was a cute young boy and girl who snuck a feel on the bus - this wouldn't be such an issue. Did you feel up girls who you didn't know or were they your girl??? Did you hope for it to be somewhat private or were you happy for all your guy friends to watch the show? This girl offers free grabs to a group of boys. This is why my daughter got the rude comment yesterday.

I realize it's normal at this age to have sexual feelings. I had a BF for a short time when I was 14 - but all we did was kiss. Then I waited until I was 18 to date.

My main point is, this behavior shouldn't be happening on the bus. I would hope if kids this age are getting involved, they would at least feel a special connection, instead of engaging in a 'gang free for all' grab.Would it be fine with you, if your own daughters did this?

It would be nice if you could understand some of our views. I truly don't want my 12 yr old to have sex. There's too many diseases and risk of pregnancy - they're not responsible to practice safe sex. There's also the tremendous emotional implication - the relationship are fickle and in 2 weeks you would be dumped, then move on to someone else - feeling used.

I think most young people are learning sex from watching porn - which is so sad. Things are different than even 15 yrs ago. I realize all teenagers from the beginning of time have sexual feelings, but in today's world there's too much pressure. My main point is - this shouldn't be happening on the bus. The way it was done was concerning because this wasn't her BF.

I don't get why you're promoting this behavior. I'm not talking about cute little sneaks where a boy touches his GF - which is probably what you're talking about. I'm talking about blatant "here you go touch me, even though I don't know your name" or giving lessons on how to perform oral sex with a pickle" -while a group watches and gets turned on. If this was a city bus with adults doing this -the police would be called.

All I wanted was for this behavior to stop. If this girl wants to act like this outside the bus, then that's her and her families problem. Relationships are hard enough for adults, so I don't think 13 yr olds can handle without getting emotionally scarred.

In my original contributions to this thread I was concerned that I might have come across as argumentative or simply contrary and so, not really getting the answers to the questions I sought I decided to change the flavor of the writing a bit. While I was aware that it might come off defensive, it was not. It was more desperation to be heard.

I think it is a normal part of adolescence; an unfortunate side effect of growing up. Exploring sexuality comes in stages beginning in puberty. It does not begin with thirteen groping volunteering peers on the bus one day and having their more youthful counterparts having sex the next day. As I recall, my parents used to show a great deal of physical affection toward each other, even in front of us children; there may have even been the occasional butt squeezing. That teenagers might show less restraint and proper judgment is hardly shocking to me.

While we may disagree on whether or not this kind of behavior is leading to the demise of civilization, this comment is replete with judgment that I’m not interested in getting in to. I am not judging those who object to this behavior, I am simply disagreeing and asking others to not judge those of us who disagree – rather, that it is possible to see the world differently and not be reprehensible, immoral or valueless.

No, it’s against the public nudity laws for clothes to come off. This then seems to me to be an outstanding place for the line to be drawn – based on law and not individual moral compasses.

I’m going to assume now that this isn’t what you mean and you are feeling exasperated.

What I am trying to say is, “Anyway, I understand that we have different view – and as far as I’m concerned, that’s okay! But it’s hard to listen to the talk of morals and values as if their absolute and the people that think this certain way have a monopoly on morality and the rest of us need to be fixed…and that fixed is like you.”

Your right Lynn when you say if they was adults the police would be called was my argument with the school when one of my children was getting hit ! In fact I threatened the school with the police and guess what ? It stopped.

Maybe you could do the same ......

Thanks for the suggestion Tishie. Since the school year is almost done -less than 25 days left, I'm just going to see how it goes. Luckily this girl will be on another bus going to high school next year and I don't think this will happen next year, since she was the instigator. Since it's not my child I can't call the police.

I think what prompted me to write this thread was feeling stunned that a girl would invite a touch from a random boy while other kids watched. Like I said earlier I know it's normal to want to touch and they have sexual desires. If this was a smitten young BF and GF and they happened to share a secret grope for a couple seconds - that's not shocking to me. No one would even notice. It was the way it was done that was surprising. My instincts were correct because yesterday, a boy turned around and told my daughter "you have big breasts". Maybe he was hoping she would say "go ahead touch them". I'm confident my daughter can take care of herself.

Off topic - I beginning to wonder maybe it's common politeness that's fading away. I'm also concerned about kids watching porn before they've ever had sex - is this what thely'll growup thinking sex is like? Will they try and model that behavior? I'm sure most women here wouldn't find the typical porn clip attractive. Twenty years ago young people would gradually discover their own sexuality naturally - that's a beautiful experience. Watching porn before you've had sex, is like opening all your Xmas gifts way before Xmas morning. When I was 18 I didn't know what 'oral sex' was - I thought it meant talking dirty lol. Now kids in grade 5/6 know what it means. I saw an Ad on TV for a personal lubricant(with the fireworks) on at 4:00 pm in the afternoon.