Funny Stuff

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes," said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot would name a parrot Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
The boy replies, "Now we run!"

Back in the day, when my father was an intern in the old Bellvue hospital, he was working in the mergency roomand a patient came in with a bad cut. My dad sewed the fellow up, wrote out a perscription for a topical ointment to prevnet infection, handed it to the rather bemused fellow, and said; "Here you go, rub this on the wound twice a day and if it doesn't heal properly in two weeks, come back and see me."
Two weeks later, the fellow shows up with a horribly infected wound, a terribly gummy perscription and looks up at my dad and says, "But Doc, I rubbed this on it twice a day..." Some times you have to ask folks if they heard you right...

(((Yoda))))--thanks for the laughs!!!

And (((((schitzoaffective)))))--more please!!!!!-Clarence the parrot and Jesus the Rotty-----them's some real burbling laughs there----thank you!!!theo

Love it missbelle----Cartoon also depicts the different nature of a cat and dog
in that a cat is so independent vs. a dog; who is usually very dependent.

Thanks for the belly laugh!!-----theo

You can't make this stuff up - 002 by VJnet, on Flickr

Ha! One thing about it, I guess we're all pretty truthful here. At least we have acknowledged that we have mental problems. Hmmm. Maybe there's someone our there who's "normal" and is lying about having a mental illness, though! Okay, 'fess up!

Me! Me! Me!!!!!!thanks for noticing.

As she sits there complacently, knowing she has always been the most "sane",
the most "normal" person she knows.

OOps--there's that third person writing slipping in again.........

Why did I not know about this thread before? Where've I been?? Why do I think up unanswerable questions??

computer6 by jujitsu2007, on Flickr

funny-thirsty-toddler by suecfar, on Flickr

Ahhhhhh babies have no shame at that age--how refreshing!!!!!

funny-pictures-kitten-falls-asleep-while-writing-a-letter by watersong73, on Flickr

Summerhill Terrace by br@mbly, on Flickr

You Crack Me UP