I recently pondered about kindness. I could be kinder, but I truthfully don't know how to do so.
I don't want to be kind to the point where I must burden myself by being overly altruistic with everybody. Still, I'd like to make a good attempt to put a lasting smile on somebody's face.

Can anyone relate? Stay awesome!

[SunnyD]

Smile at people..

[sundog]

Kindness is a wonderful thing. And I think it's often under-rated. There's a saying "kindness is it's own reward". And that is so true. Being kind to others makes us feel good about ourselves.

And yet, it's often really hard to be kind! And it's not always possible either - or even desirable.

At any rate, I can relate to what you say here! I would like to be kinder also. And I think that just focusing on the goal of kindness is a great place to start. There are so many opportunities every day for us to practice acts of kindness. But if we're not even thinking about doing that then we'll miss them.

This topic has really helped me to focus more on the importance of kindness. Thank you for starting it! It was very kind of you (((((((((opaquemind)))))))))

[lonegael]

Ah yes! Senseless acts of kindness and random crimes of beauty! A long time since I've heard of that. I sometimes put my parking ticket if it has time left on it on someone's car if their's has run out, let the kid with the candybar go ahead of me in line, pick up the money for the old lady who drops her change in line so she doesn't have to bend over and do it...another is to go ahead and pay for the poor person who doesn't have enough to cover the bus fare.
I tend to tell people that not to worry about paying back, just help the next person who needs it and consider the debt paid! That tends to go oer well with the immigrant folks here for whom saving face is important, but for whom money is a problem and who don't know me from Adam.
Another hint, if you do little things for strangers, you usually don't get stuck in the expectation trap, but you definitely can make two people's day; your's and theirs. Good luck and HUGGGGSSSS!

[sarek]

For a long time I have been looking for that magical formula. How to be a better(kinder) person. But there is no such formula. Trying to make big changes to the way you live your life will not agree with who you are and what you are used to.
I have found that starting with the small things is far more effective. Especially when that leads to positive feedback. Because when that happens there is this synergy of positivity allowing you to keep getting better at it.
To say it in modern terminology, let your love go viral.

[SunnyD]

Here is operation nice: http://www.operationnice.com/

Also random acts of kindness at : http://www.secretagentl.com/about/
I like the secret agent L as it give you ideas about special secret missions.

[Travelinglady]

I try to find things to compliment people on. Everybody could use such kind words. Of course, I make sure not to be insincere and never sarcastic. Plus, as has already been suggested, smiling at people helps. It's amazing how many of us (me included) tend to go around with sourpuss faces. If only more of us were concerned about being more kind....Thanks for sharing this thought. We need a kinder world!

[kikki27]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

I recently pondered about kindness. I could be kinder, but I truthfully don't know how to do so.
I don't want to be kind to the point where I must burden myself by being overly altruistic with everybody. Still, I'd like to make a good attempt to put a lasting smile on somebody's face.

Can anyone relate? Stay awesome!

Give hugs and smile and by speaking to people

[thine_self_untrue]

Smile. Talk to people. Treat everyone with respect. Get into the habit of having a cheerful and caring disposition towards others others and it will come naturally.
Kindness is like love- simple in theory, but difficult to practice.

[eskielover]

It really seems to be an easy thing where I live now......when I first moved here, it would take me hours to shop because everyone seemed to want to talk.....every aisle of the store.

I always start off thinking about if it were me, how would I feel & what would I appreciate & go from there. I made cookies & goodies for all my friends for Christmas.....didn't get them delivered before Christmas, but the day after, dropped the yummies off at everyone's house & had a short chance to sit down & visit....getting to know them even better.

Have another friend who is going through a very difficult time.....we started chatting when I met her through another friend.....we realized how much we have in common. I call her to see how she's doing every now & then, & when she needs an ear......I'm always there for her.....& then at times we just get together & relax for coffee on a tight budget.

Have another friend who was having hip replacement & she wanted to get her front room painted before the surgery.....not allowing her to climb the step stool to paint, I went over & we ended up painting a couple of days until after 2am in the morning.....she's a night owl like I am.

Have another friend who just had knee replacement & she is right now in a convalescent care place until she is strong enough to go home. Stopped by the other night & we sat & chatted for hours......they brought her dinner, & helped her get the food cut up.....suggested they get her a diet that is easier for her to eat without having the teeth to chew......had no idea how much she appreciated my company....but having been in the hospital so much myself, I know how lonely it can be. I have baked a huge batch of cookies....am going to take a huge container over to her today or tomorrow.

I just enjoy doing things & sharing with people....& just dropping by to say hi when I am out & have a few extra minutes....or knowing that someone needs help & not letting them tell you "don't bother"....like getting the salt & spreading it around my older friends farm so she wouldn't slip on the ice.

I don't to things to be recognized, I do the things that I know I sure would appreciate being done if I were in the same situation....being able to place ourselves in others position & understanding how they might possibly be feeling is usually right on & really makes their day as much as mine.

Then when I get a thank you note that says not only thank you for the goodies, but thanks for being such a good friend......wow, really brings the smile inside to the heart.

I have met so many wonderful people here that I just feel the drive to do nice things for them because they are so nice to me....I know I do nice things to people I don't even know, but it's sure wonderful to have great friends that makes it really easy to nice things for them.....not looking for anything in return....but mostly thanking them for being so nice to me & making me feel so welcome in a new place where I knew NO ONE when I moved here......it's wonderful to give that feeling to others because it always returns the feeling inside of me.....knowing how lucky I really am.

[lynn P.]

I think generally speaking, manners and politeness aren't practiced as much as they should be, unless you live in a smaller community like Eskielover. It feels wonderful when someone acts kind with no strings attached. When we 1st got our laptop, my husband/daughter went to an office supply store to look for the microsoft office word program and a anti virus program. It would cost about $130 and we couldn't afford it. A man took my husband to the side and said he would be happy to install it for us...for free. This was so nice of him.

I once had a person follow me for miles(road rage) just because I accidently cut her off and it wasn't too bad. She followed me so close, her car was almost touching mine. I was terrified and called 911 and the dispatcher told me to drive to the police station. I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman and my kids were terrified. Amazingly the person followed me there too and had the nerve to get out of her(could see it was a woman) car and scream at me through the window.

The only good thing this incident taught me was - to be kind to others drivers when they make mistakes. She assumed I cut her off out of rudeness, but it was really just an accident. This real test is......can you be kind even to people who might not deserve it? Random acts of kindness, send postive ripples, the same way negativity does.

[Perna]

I think one has to figure out what "kind" means to them and then practice that. If you perceive someone as kind, what are they doing? I'm currently hung up on wanting to be "warm", emotionally and literally

[SunnyD]

I was thinking about how much politeness might mean to a server.
I do try to please and thank you them and be pleasant. Once in a while I will comment on something they are wearing, what is happening in the restaurant etc. just to have a little attention could be nice for them I think.
I have often thought how much an extra dollar in their tip might mean.
On the other hand mistakes are seldom their fault and I have to remember to direct my unhappiness to the manager and not them.

Woooooooow. Everyone, I am so pleased to know I'm not alone. The stories and comments were beautiful, from each and everyone who posted. Thank you for your kindness.

Sarcasm. That's a good point, Payne, thanks! Glad that was brought up! Sarcasm can hurt deeply, and sometimes, words said can really hurt, even if sarcasm wasn't intended.

Eskie, lovely stories!!

Lynn P.- Also another good point! Some people don't really deserve kindness...or do they? I try to imagine everyone having a bad day, regardless of the situation. It's tough, but being nice is probably the better choice rather than acting foolishly and getting into arguments. Though anger is being released, people have to remember, arguing is unhealthy, not to mention, stressful.

Finally, SunnyD, thank you for sharing "Operation NICE."

Have a fantastic day all! You rock!

New question: Why would one be unkind? Perhaps if we can list ideas why together, we can figure out why and try to sympathize with others more rather than walking away, getting mad, etc.

My thoughts:
-Having a bad day
...and that's all I can think of. I think "having a bad day" is much too general though.

[Liberada]

Someone might be unkind when are they guilty of doing something wrong.. and in being defensive they show it in anger. ... ? does that make sense?

[SunnyD]

I could see that but something happened to me recently when I got offended by a woman that I am see occasionally at the deli. She was very short with me and her face was very mean. And of course I could wait.
I got to thinking, what kind of things has she gone through? What has gone wrong in her life even that day?
I started to smile at her, had a little conversation maybe said a prayer, I don't know but now she isn't exactly friendly but she doesn't have an attitude. I also have learned to care about what she may be going through.
I think sometimes there is a reason for people to be unpleasant. Then that might just be the way they are...still kindness might make a difference. People probably are not generally kind to them.

Thanks for sharing, Liberada and SunnyD.

You know, yesterday, I figured I'd talk to this girl I thought I didn't like. I didn't know her, but I said hi anyway. She's a nice person.

Sunny, so...maybe just use benefit of the doubt in those situations, right? Sounds like a good thing to do..

[sabby]

I love this thread!

A few years ago at our local Walmart, there was a woman working at the pharmacy that just looked like she would bite your head off if you breathed in her direction. I couldn't find a particular item and she was the only one on the floor that wasn't busy with another customer so I had no choice but to ask for her help. Well....let me just say that before I could blink an eye, she became even witchier than she looked! You would have thought that I just kicked her in the shins really hard! I had been polite to her, and I even smiled at her but to no avail. I've worked retail many years in my life and I thought, you know, her supervisor needs to know how she is treating customers. So I made my complaint and walked away. I don't think the employee knew it was me and I don't even know if the supervisor spoke with her or not.

So, here we are a few years later and this woman still works in the pharmacy department. Since that's where I get my meds, I have no choice but to have to deal with her. I always make sure I smile and am pleasant. I refuse to let her lousy attitude get to me. Lo and behold, some months ago I was wearing my Eeyore t-shirt and she smiled at me and said Eeyore was her granddaughters favorite! Go figure LOL. So we struck up a bit of a conversation and she actually smiled and was sociable. Ever since then, she smiles when she sees me, asks how I am, I ask her how her granddaughter is doing and it's all warm and fuzzy.

Amazing what some patience, smiles and something in common can do for a relationship....no matter what kind of relationship it is! I have no idea why she is so grumpy all the time. But it makes me smile to know we can help each other out now.

[SunnyD]

I reminds me of a quote from Abriaham Lincoln

"I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.

Many thanks, Sabby!

"it's all warm and fuzzy!" I love those moments! I'm glad you were able to talk to that lady and see the better side of her! Good for you for talking with her, admist your previous feelings about her. Well, regardless of why she's grumpy, she has a friend in you, and that matters more.

Also: "I refuse to let her lousy attitude get to me." Fabulous. I love that strength, sabby.

(Note to self: Wear Eeyore shirts to make a new friend. )

Sunny- Good quote post! It is quite inspiring. Thank you!

[costello]

Kindness is a wonderful thing, and I too wish I were kinder.

I've known some kind people. They aren't "kind to you." They're just kind. And that kindness flows out toward you when you interact with them. They don't do kind things. They are kind people. That's what I want to be. A kind person.

Meantime I'll just have to be a normal person who sometimes remembers to act kind.

Some quotes on kindness I happened to run across today:

What do we live for if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? -George Eliot

When I was young I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. -Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

Keep that kindness going, costello. Good work, indeed.

I think keeping a broad smile on while interacting with people helps immensely. Keeps the smiles, the good vibe, and even the kindness alive.

Fantastic quotes, by the way! Thank you for sharing them.

[Emotional Ninja]

Originally Posted by thine_self_untrue

Smile. Talk to people. Treat everyone with respect. Get into the habit of having a cheerful and caring disposition towards others others and it will come naturally.
Kindness is like love- simple in theory, but difficult to practice.

Thine honey, I cannot believe you can have that attitude considering the pain you are in. If I were not still alive, I might think you were a Anyway, I think you are a darling and would love to have a daughter like youl. Please stay in touch.

[Emotional Ninja]

Originally Posted by SunnyD

I could see that but something happened to me recently when I got offended by a woman that I am see occasionally at the deli. She was very short with me and her face was very mean. And of course I could wait.
I got to thinking, what kind of things has she gone through? What has gone wrong in her life even that day?
I started to smile at her, had a little conversation maybe said a prayer, I don't know but now she isn't exactly friendly but she doesn't have an attitude. I also have learned to care about what she may be going through.
I think sometimes there is a reason for people to be unpleasant. Then that might just be the way they are...still kindness might make a difference. People probably are not generally kind to them.

Sunny D, I agree with you in general. However, I believe it goes deeper. I say this because I worked with the public for 35 years and during the course of that time (please check my profile) there were many times I was under tremendous stress. In fact I've experienced this since childhood. It apparently has been inherent in my nature not to strike back. I never let someone else's actions dictate my own. I believe nasty folks probably have some real issues that are unresolved. I guess that belief is why I give them the benefit of doubt. Who knows, maybe someday someone will be able to help them and random acts of kindness will at last be recognized and appreciated.