[salty04]

This was the first Christmas that did not hear form either of my parents or have any contact with family members at first it bothered me but I think I am ok with it. In the last few months I have had so much going on In my life I did not do any thing for the holidays I think I am ok with that to. People make to much about family and such during the holidays. Just wondering if there is any one else who feels this way?

[dinosaurs]

i have cut off contact with most of my family and my life is better for it. i have not celebrated christmas for several years now. however this year i did, but only in ways i wanted to, which included no involvement with family at all. and geez i had a wonderful time. i have never understood or grasped why people place such an emphasis on this being a time for family (but then i got a pretty crap deal in that department and realise i still have attachment problems). so at present i am making this a time for me and perhaps one day i may find joy with others (but i think it would be a "made" family eg made of friends, rather than my family of origin)

[lonegael]

I think that for those who get along ith their families it is wonderful to be together with them, and for me, every once in a while is great, as long as I keep my expectations down to realistic. I love seeing my nieces and nephew and seeing how much they have grown. But every holiday with my folks and siblings is too much. I have to have time with just my kids and husband, too. There is too much dysfunction in both our families of origin to be constantly trying to battle them on the holidays.

In time, our son will have to make the same choices, and i hope I am smart enough to see that. Christmas alone or with firends can be jst as healing and special in a way, I think. Happy new Year, and I'm glad you had a nice Christmas without the relatives! HUGGGGSSSSSS!

[eskielover]

My mother died 6 years ago, leaving my only family left to be my husband & daughter.

I left my husband 3 years ago after I sold my Mothers home & bought a farm across the country from where I was living. I tried to bring my husband to my farm the first Christmas & had my daughter visit here for a few days from her home in Colorado that first Christmas. Several weeks later, I kicked my husband out & back to California & have had nothing to do with him since then.

I have so many wonderful friends that I have come to know here considering I didn't know anyone when I moved here. This is really the first Christmas that I have truly enjoyed & have been involved in so many of the community activities.....along with the new church that I have started going to who have accepted me as part of them. I have never had a better Christmas in all my life.....no family is definitely a good thing.

The trauma that I went through with the home care person & my Mother who was dying of cancer at Christmas just 6 years ago, leaves Christmas time with many bad memories that I have been finally been able to start working through them & being able to enjoy Christmas again.

Christmas for me has always been about the birth of Christ & church activities even growing up. Family was always small because both my parents were only children & so was I.....no family gettogethers except for close family & my parents didn't have any friends. Not much conflict every occured around Christmas, so it's always had wonderful memories until my Mothers death.

Definitely enjoyed this Christmas with NO family, just the wonderful special friends that I have come to know over these last few years.

[yellowted]

I have no family contact for many years through my own choice to 'put myself first' to allow myself to have a life free from their abuse and to live in a place where i am free to grow as a good person, to experience love and caring so i could also give these qualities to others. I found that place with my late partner, I never regretted cutting contact, and have spent the past 7 christmases alone since my partner passed away, ok they are quiet, but I look around and see all the stress, anxiety and financial difficulties that christmas brings then think how lucky i am not to have any of these thrust upon me any more.
The real meaning of christmas is to celebrate the birth of a child born many years ago, not to live up to the expectations of others born since.
I say my own personal thanks to that child in my own way and am very happy with that way as it is much less damaging to me than running up the credit card spending vast ammounts on unwanted gifts and having my emotions crushed to a pulp by a horrid family!
I spent christmas doing things i like for myself as i believe to care for others you have to first care for yourself.
This may sound selfish and ok it may be but it is the only way i know to keep me well.

[Gilead]

I also spent the holiday alone. I have no real family aside from two children that live with their mother far enough away so that there is no quick or easy way to see them.

I'm ok with being alone - I always feel that way anyway.

The only hitch for me is not being able to see the xmas morning joy on the kids faces. I mourn that loss.

They called me, I cried for awhile and then I distracted myself with a lot of nothing for the rest of the day.

Do other people invite any of you to their family gatherings for the holidays?

I do get those invitations but I think I'd feel much worse if I went and observed how other families relate to one another on holidays, or any other day for that matter. Maybe it's jealousy. I don't know but if I went and was surrounded by their happiness it would only make me feel more alone - feeling alone when I'm not actually alone is much more damaging to me then just being alone.

Did I just mess this thread up? I'm sorry if I did....

[lonegael]

Nah, not as far as I know. Everyone handles these things differently. somefolks like coming over, others don't, especially if they are the only odd one out. Nothing wrong with how you fel. Happy New year!