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  #1  
Old Jan 08, 2007, 06:26 PM
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JustAPixie JustAPixie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
On the other hand, these comments are true, they caused a bit of an uproar here.... so I'm almost sure they are true....

These are statements taken from the Mpumulangha State Hospital registry. ( A hospital in South Africa)

- gotta love it!!!

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a
40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.
6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.
9.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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  #2  
Old Jan 08, 2007, 06:27 PM
Boopers Boopers is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,622
Wow, I hope I don't ever go to that or those hospitals!! State hospital....
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What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
  #3  
Old Jan 08, 2007, 06:32 PM
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mel4 mel4 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: US
Posts: 404
haahha those are certainly quite funny!
  #4  
Old Jan 08, 2007, 07:06 PM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
Like Fayerody would say "And they walk among us!!" State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital....

State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital....
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #5  
Old Jan 08, 2007, 10:10 PM
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JustAPixie JustAPixie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
Scary... that's why we try so hard not to get sick.... State hospital....
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  #6  
Old Jan 09, 2007, 12:27 AM
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jlove973 jlove973 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: I think I\'m in the US?
Posts: 4,593
I'm afraid to even think about what my med chart says State hospital....
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State hospital....

  #7  
Old Jan 09, 2007, 12:28 AM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital....
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State hospital....


  #8  
Old Jan 09, 2007, 01:10 PM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
I have no doubt as to the originality of these statements (and I know you know what I mean Pixie) - I mean ..... just look at no. 8 State hospital....

It is so typical though, isn't it?

No. 26 gave me a huge giggle! (Oh, and then there is No. 22 .......)
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State hospital....

Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long.
  #9  
Old Jan 09, 2007, 01:22 PM
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silver_queen silver_queen is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2004
Location: Running on the wheel
Posts: 5,681
State hospital.... State hospital.... State hospital....
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed.

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  #10  
Old Jan 10, 2007, 10:01 PM
JustAPixie's Avatar
JustAPixie JustAPixie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
I know you know Sabrina, like only a knower can know.... My sister actually worked in a state hospital sometime and I heard terrifying stories...
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